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How a Therapist Deals with Online Gaming Addiction

Most everyone has tried video games. For some it has become an addiction that prevents them from living their life in a truly productive manner. If you teenager cannot live without online games, please watch this short video. Here Cameron talks about how he approaches online gaming addiction with adolescents.

Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Cameron Munholland, MMFT, Associate MFT

Social Media Addiction In Teens

Social media is part of our teens’ everyday lives. Using it to connect with friends and see what other people are doing can be fun. There is a point where use and compulsion to check a social media feed become detrimental. For some teens this can even grow into an all-out addiction.

Helping teens grow and families improve connection,

Cameron Munholland, MMFT, Associate MFT

Thoughts on Social Media Addiction

In 2017 20/20 did a piece about a young California girl who became obsessively addicted to her social media accounts.  At 12 years old this girl got her first smart phone.  Within a year she had multiple hidden accounts, was often up until 4:00am keeping up with postings on her feed, and texting for hours on end.  In the end this girl had to go to residential treatment because no amount of phone restriction would keep her from finding a way to access these accounts.

Whether it’s Snapchat, Instagram, or some other new app, if your teen feels a compulsion to use it, it’s bordering on addiction.  If the compulsion is so strong that they use it despite negative consequences, it is an addiction.

Can your teenager get through a meal without checking their phone?  Does your teen insist on keeping the phone in their room at night?  Does your teenager hardly ever seem to see friends in person, but is always “talking” to someone using a device?  Have your teen’s grades started to slip because of the phone?  Does your teenager struggle to get to bed at a decent hour?  If you answered yes to all these questions, there might be a social media addiction issue.

Studies have begun to emerge detailing a surprising result; people who use excessive social media are actually lonelier.  A study out of the University of Pennsylvania headed by Melissa G. Hunt, Ph.D., had college students in one group limit their time on social media apps to 10 minutes per day per app, and another group continue normal use.  Assessments of depression, anxiety and loneliness done before and after revealed a significant improvement in the group that limited their social media exposure, but no change in the group that used it normally.  There are probably several reasons the group who used less social media ended up feeling better, one of which is getting out of the comparison trap.

If your adolescent is addicted to social media, there is a good chance she (or he) is comparing to others constantly.  There is a comparison of how good your teen’s pictures look compared with friends, how many followers your teen has, and how many likes your teen is getting.  Your teen is constantly exposed to what other kids are doing without her.  Your teenager can end up obsessively checking for responses to her posts in order to feel validated.  It becomes an obsessive-compulsive need for instant gratification and validation.

Social media addiction causes relational challenges, declining grades, and a loss of interest in the real world.  It also can cause physical problems.  Your teen is focusing his eyes on a screen most of the day instead of looking up and out.  Your teenager is also no longer exercising or engaging muscles the way they are meant to be used at a young age.  Your teen is constantly cheating on the amount of sleep needed for healthy development and immunity.  Your teenager is not developing necessary skills to succeed in the world from basic things like doing laundry, to more complex things like dating face to face.

If you feel like your family’s life is run by your teenager’s phone, it’s time to consider whether your teen has a social media addiction.  It’s time to get life back on track.  Your teenager needs help.  Your teenager will honestly feel better after the initial couple weeks of agitated withdrawal from the social media platforms.  Life is meant to be lived through more than just a tiny screen.

Helping teens grow and families improve connection,

Cameron Munholland, MMFT, Associate MFT

Pornography Addiction In Adolescents

Pornography addiction can lead to feelings of shame and loneliness.

Former Attorney General John Ashcroft has estimated that nine in ten adolescents have seen pornographic material (focusonthefamily.org), and most of this is from the internet. The exact percentage of teenagers who are truly addicted to online pornography is hard to pin down. What’s certain though is that your teenager has probably dealt with some form of sexually explicit content online.

It has become normal for a girl and a boy to like each other and begin a texting conversation. When he asks her to send nudes, she won’t even be surprised. A lot of times this happens before they’ve even held hands. Yes, things are that backwards in your teen’s world right now. If you find that hard to believe, trust me, so did I. You can learn a lot by simply asking your teen if these types of things are actually happening around them.

Sadly, you may be at a point where your son or daughter finds him or herself viewing pornographic material a few times a week, or maybe even a few times per day. Your teenager is likely feeling sucked into a vortex of pleasure and shame that is way over your teen’s head. If this is going on then it is definitely time to get help.

Study after study shows that sex within a committed relationship at an age when a committed relationship can actually be sustained (i.e. in marriage) is the healthiest form of sex. Think about how opposite pornography is to a committed relationship. There is no emotional connection. There is no wooing, dating, growing, learning, boundary setting, or selflessness. It is completely about instant gratification with no effort involved. Some of my clients have also told me it requires more and more extreme versions of sex over time to create feelings of arousal. This means by time real intimacy occurs, it’s often confusing and disappointing.

You definitely don’t want your teenager to develop ideas about sex that are unrealistic and damaging. You also don’t want your teenager to live in a pretend world based around his or her phone or tablet. This addiction can become so powerful that it leaves teens unwilling to go out with friends, get a job, or do anything outside their private time. My colleague once had a teen client who used to leave class and sit in the bathroom in order to catch a few quick porn videos because his addiction had become so dominating.

If your teen is dealing with pornography addiction, getting help can be key. There are steps to follow that are really difficult, but rewarding on the other side. Let’s help your teenager get a real, in-this-world, connected with actual people life back. Let’s fight back against this insidious and evil addiction that is victimizing your child.

Helping teens grow and families improve connection,

Cameron Munholland, MMFT, Associate MFT