Why Getting Your Teen to Help Around the House Feels So Hard
It can feel frustrating when your teen spends the afternoon relaxing or hanging out with friends while the house needs to be cleaned. Maybe you don’t even care about the whole house—you’d just love it if they kept their room clean, picked up the bathroom, and put away their dishes. But they never seem to do any of it. So how do you actually start getting your teen to help around the house?
1. Let Them Know How You Feel
Sharing your feelings calmly (not with anger or hostility) is one of the best ways to get your teen to listen. If you gently explain that you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or taken advantage of, many teens respond with more understanding. Not every teen will respond well, but if you’re truly being kind and still not getting kindness in return, there may be deeper issues in the relationship to address.
2. Ask Your Teen to Help Around the House Directly
A lot of parents feel they aren’t getting help, but they haven’t actually asked for it. Hoping your teen will look around, notice what needs to be done, and take initiative sounds great—but it rarely happens. Instead, try writing a short, reasonable list before you leave for work with chores that you expect your teen to finish before you get home. For a teen who’s not used to cleaning the house, a 30-minute task is a good starting point. This approach makes getting your teen to help around the house much more realistic.
3. Attach Monetary Value to Certain Tasks
For teens who love being social, money is motivating. If they want spending money for lunch with friends, make sure you’re not handing out cash freely. Instead, attach small payments to specific tasks—like vacuuming or wiping down counters. They’ll learn responsibility and become more thoughtful about how they use their own money. This is a great way to get teens to help around the house.
4. Require Basic Household Responsibilities
Every household needs some non-negotiable responsibilities. If you expect bedrooms and bathrooms to stay picked up, make sure your space follows the same standard—teens resent hypocrisy more than almost anything.
You can attach privileges to these responsibilities. For example, one family required their teen’s room and bathroom to be clean by 8 PM to earn phone use the next day. If she finished at 8:05, they thanked her but still held the boundary. Consistency is key when getting your teen to help around the house.
Building Healthy Habits and Better Connection
It is possible to get your teen to help around the house. With clear expectations and consistent follow-through, they learn responsibility, and you stop feeling like you’re nagging. Once chores become a routine, your relationship improves because there’s less conflict—and your teen feels proud of contributing.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,