by Lauren Goodman | Oct 4, 2026 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
How Do Today’s Teens Find Happiness?
Happiness for teens can sometimes feel hard to find. If you’re reading blogs on this site, it may mean that you or someone you love is struggling to feel happy. I’ve been there too, and I know how hard that can be.
We often look to things like a new outfit, the latest video game, a trip to a theme park, something good to eat, or especially social media. These things can bring us pleasure. For a few minutes, or maybe even a few hours, we feel happy. That feeling keeps us coming back for more. But eventually, those things can leave us feeling empty. So, what can help create more lasting happiness for teens?
5 Things That Can Increase Happiness for Teens
1. Practice Gratitude Every Day
There are probably people in your life that you rely on. Maybe it’s your mom who listens when you need to vent, a teacher who always takes the time to listen, or a friend who sits with you at lunch every day. Try to visibly thank someone each day. Send a text, write a note, or simply tell someone that you appreciate them. Making gratitude part of your daily routine can help you notice the good things and people in your life. Practicing gratitude is a simple way to create more happiness for teens and adults alike.
2. Learn to Challenge Negative Thoughts
It’s easy to think that nobody cares about you. You might believe you’re not as smart as someone else or that you will never accomplish much. The hard part is reminding yourself that these thoughts aren’t always true. Happy people work on challenging their negative thoughts. The first step is to recognize the thought. The second step is to test whether it is actually true. The third step is to replace it with something more realistic and positive.
For example, if you think, “Nobody cares about me,” look back at the last 24 hours. Did someone say hello to you, hug you, smile at you, give you a ride, or send you a message? If even one person did one of those things, you have evidence that your thought isn’t completely true. You could replace it with something like, “At least one person cares about me.” Learning to challenge negative thoughts can be an important part of happiness for teens.
3. Get in the Habit of Smiling
People often wait for someone else to smile at them first. If everyone does that, nobody ends up smiling. Try smiling first. It might feel awkward at first, but it can make a difference. When you smile, other people may see you as more friendly and approachable. This makes them want to smile back or spend time with you.
Smiling can also affect how you feel. Research has found connections between smiling, the brain, and our emotions. In fact, smiling is healthy. A simple smile can be one small step toward happiness for teens.
4. Exercise Can Support Happiness for Teens
Regular physical activity can be good for both your body and your mood. Exercise can give you more energy and help you feel better throughout the day. For teens, finding an activity they enjoy can make exercise feel less like a chore and more like something fun. It could be playing a sport, going for a walk, riding a bike, dancing, or doing another activity you enjoy. Exercise is one more tool that can support happiness for teens.
5. Make Time for Prayer or Meditation
Five minutes may not seem like much time, but taking a few minutes each day to slow down can help you step away from the busyness of life. Meditation can give your mind a chance to slow down and refocus. Prayer can do the same while also giving you time to connect with God. This can help remind you that you aren’t alone and that God loves you.
Taking even a few quiet minutes each day can support a better mood and a greater sense of peace, which can contribute to happiness for teens.
Happiness for Teens Comes From Daily Habits
Most if not all of these tips are things you’ve probably heard before. The bigger question is: What’s keeping you from putting them into practice? It may take some time to notice a difference, so don’t expect everything to change overnight. Start with one small habit and build from there. Happiness isn’t merely the result of luck or circumstances. Our habits, thoughts, relationships, and choices can all affect how we feel. We may naturally focus on what’s going wrong, but we can also learn to notice what’s going right.
Finding happiness for teens isn’t about being happy every minute of every day. It’s about learning healthy ways to handle difficult emotions, appreciate the good things in life, and build habits that support your well-being. You can do it! Start with one small change today and see where it leads.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Oct 4, 2026 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
Is Your Teen Doing Too Much?
Many teenagers feel overwhelmed by everything they have going on. Between school, activities, sports, friends, and screens, it can feel like there is always something demanding their attention. Even when they look like they are relaxing, they may still be stimulating their minds with phones, social media, video games, or other screens. True downtime can be hard to find. There is also a lot of pressure to give kids every opportunity possible.
As a mom, I understand this pressure, and I struggle with it too. We want our kids to have a bright future, so it can be easy to feel like everything is important. We want them to build a strong resume, get into a good college, and have plenty of opportunities. But what does a good future really look like? Is it only about career opportunities? Or is it also about learning how to balance work with other parts of life? Teens need to learn how to manage their time, set priorities, and make choices based on what matters to them. Helping overwhelmed teenagers find that balance can be challenging, especially in today’s competitive culture.
Are Overwhelmed Teenagers Really Prepared for Success?
What if we spend so much time creating opportunities for our kids that we forget to teach them how to make the most of those opportunities? A teen might get into the college they or their parents have dreamed about, but they also need the skills to manage everything that comes with that experience. Teens need to learn many important skills as they grow. School and first jobs can help them learn how to work with others, meet expectations, and function in a work environment. But there is much more to becoming a successful adult than knowing how to get a good job.
Teens also need to learn how to care for themselves physically, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. They need opportunities to make healthy food and exercise choices, cope with difficult emotions, build strong friendships, and develop their faith if that is important to their family. There are many different parts of a healthy, successful life. Helping overwhelmed teenagers understand this can help them see that success doesn’t have to mean being great at just one thing.
How Can I Help My Overwhelmed Teen?
If your teenager feels overwhelmed much of the time, it may be helpful to take a closer look at how they are spending their time. Sometimes, too much energy is going toward one area of life while other important areas are being pushed aside. For example, your teen might be playing a high-level sport that takes 20 or more hours each week. That’s a significant time commitment and may leave little room for rest, school, friends, or family. In other cases, a teen might be taking five AP classes and putting most of their energy into academics.
For overwhelmed teenagers, balance can be just as important as achievement. Help your teenager think about what matters to them and what they want their life to look like instead of simply trying to keep up with what everyone else is doing.
A Personal Story About an Overwhelmed Teen
I know one young man who put most of his energy into academics and developed strong work habits. He took multiple AP classes and eventually attended USC, which was a great accomplishment. However, once he got to college, he realized there were other skills he still needed to develop. He struggled with relationships and peer pressure and had a difficult time managing the social side of college. Eventually, he left USC and attended community college while living at home.
During those two years, he had an opportunity to grow in some of the areas of life that had received less attention during his teenage years. He eventually transferred to LMU, graduated, and got a good job. His story had a positive ending, but the transition was difficult. Focusing heavily on academics had helped him achieve an important goal, but he also needed time to develop other parts of his life. His experience is a good reminder that success involves more than one area.
Helping Overwhelmed Teenagers Find Balance
If your teen is consistently overwhelmed, take a look at the balance in their life. Are they spending so much time on one goal that they have little time for anything else? Do they have enough time for sleep, relationships, hobbies, family, and simply taking a break? Help your teenager set goals that allow them to grow as a whole person rather than focusing on just one area. Encourage them to think about what matters to them and what kind of life they want to build.
Most of the time, feeling overwhelmed may be connected to having too much on a teen’s plate. But sometimes, there may be something else contributing to those feelings. If your teen continues to feel overwhelmed even after making changes to their schedule, therapy can be helpful. If you’d like additional support, please feel free to reach out.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Oct 3, 2026 | Depression Therapy for Teens
Why Good Sleep Matters
I’m bringing up the topic of teen sleep because I hear parents talk about it in my therapy office all the time. And honestly, how well and how consistently your teenager sleeps is a big deal. Good sleep is linked to happiness, a healthy immune system, school performance, memory, safe driving, and so much more. When teens don’t get enough sleep, it can affect almost every part of their lives.
Why Are Teens Struggling With Sleep?
Teenagers are known for giving up sleep to finish homework, text friends, play video games, or scroll through TikTok. But none of these are good reasons to regularly get less sleep than they need. If your teen stays up late once in a while to finish an assignment, that’s one thing. If they’re doing it night after night though, it can become a problem.
Surprisingly, teenagers still need a consistent bedtime. You do have to enforce it. Teen sleep is an important part of their health and well-being. If your teen has trouble waking up for school every morning, that may be their body’s way of telling you they aren’t getting enough sleep.
How Parents Can Support Healthy Teen Sleep
Parents play an important role in helping their teens develop healthy sleep habits. One of the best places to start is by looking at the sleep habits in your own home. First, try to make healthy sleep a priority for yourself too. Try to avoid staying up late watching TV or scrolling on your phone. When you’re well-rested, you’re likely to have more energy and patience for work, family, and friends. You also show your teen that getting enough sleep is an important part of taking care of yourself.
Second, make teen sleep a priority for your whole family. We talk a lot about the food we eat and how much we exercise, and those things are important. But we don’t always talk enough about the role sleep plays in our health. Getting enough sleep supports your immune system, improves concentration and thinking, lowers certain health risks, and helps prevent injuries. And honestly, it just feels good to wake up rested!
What If My Teen Is Sleeping Too Much?
On the other hand, maybe your concern about your teenager’s sleep comes from the opposite problem. If your teen naps often and still sleeps eight or more hours at night, there may be something else going on.
Excessive sleep, or hypersomnia, can be a symptom of several different problems, including depression, substance use, endocrine issues, or physical illness. That’s why it’s important to talk with your doctor if your teenager is consistently sleeping much more than expected.
Your doctor may recommend psychiatry or therapy, but they may also find another medical issue that needs attention. If your teenager regularly needs more than 10 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, it’s important to talk with their doctor.
Better Sleep Can Help the Whole Family
Once your family gets back on a healthy sleep schedule, everyone’s life can improve. We want to help your family understand the importance of teen sleep, especially for your developing teenager. Not only can better sleep support their health, but it can also improve their happiness and overall well-being.
Helping teens grow and improve family connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Sep 26, 2026 | Teen Grief and Loss Counseling
Is it Teen Grief or Depression?
I’ve had more than a few clients come into therapy unsure whether what they’re experiencing is teen grief or depression. It’s understandable to be confused because the two can feel very similar. When your teenager loses someone close to them, life can feel completely turned upside down. Teens may feel like life has lost its meaning or that they’ll never feel like themselves again. Depression can create many of those same feelings, which can make it difficult to tell the difference between grief and depression.
Can It Be Both Depression and Grief?
The short answer is yes, sometimes. If your teenager was already experiencing depression before the loss, grief can be layered on top of it. However, if the depression wasn’t present before the loss, clinicians are generally cautious about diagnosing Major Depressive Disorder while an adolescent is actively grieving. For the first two months after a major loss, therapists and psychiatrists typically do not diagnose Major Depressive Disorder based solely on symptoms of bereavement. The timing of symptoms is one of the factors clinicians consider when differentiating between teen grief and depression.
What Is a “Typical” Progression of Grief?
After one to three months, many teens begin to notice their grief shifting. While the loss will be forever life-changing, they often start to establish a new normal. They may begin laughing again and reengaging with friends. If they have lost a parent, they may also begin leaning more heavily on their other parent or guardian. Of course, grief can still come in waves. A teenager may have moments when the sadness feels overwhelming, even after they have started feeling better overall. Over time, though, these intense periods often become less frequent.
Please don’t read this and immediately think, “Oh no! There’s something wrong with the way my teen is grieving,” if their experience doesn’t look like this. Every person grieves differently. While I can tell you what happens in many teen grief scenarios, a different timeline does not automatically mean your teenager is depressed.
Which Is Which?
For some teenagers, the initial grief never seems to let up. They continue moving through life feeling almost numb after the death of someone they love. I once worked with a teenager who wasn’t engaging in any part of life a full year after losing her dad. She barely got out of bed, took care of herself, or completed her schoolwork. At this point, her grief had crossed into Major Depressive Disorder. The loss had triggered a depressive episode, even though she had been a well-adjusted teen before her father died. She couldn’t shake the brain fog, intense crying spells, and confusion that had followed his death.
In this client’s case, her bereavement had become complicated enough that she met the criteria for Major Depressive Disorder. The length and severity of her symptoms were part of what made the situation concerning. Without treatment for adolescent depression in addition to support for grief, she may have continued to struggle for much longer.
What Is the Difference Between Teen Grief and Depression?
Grief and depression can feel very similar. Both can involve deep sadness, low energy, loss of interest in activities that were once enjoyable, hopelessness, and exhaustion. One important difference is that grief tends to shift over time. The pain may become less constant, even though it can still return in waves. As one priest put it, “Grief is love with no place to go.” Over time, that love can find new places to go through memories, relationships, and ways of honoring the person who died.
Depression tends to be more persistent and can create a broader sense of emptiness and disconnection. While grief can eventually become integrated into a person’s life, depression can make it difficult to experience joy or feel connected to the people around you.
What Can I Do?
Talk to your teen. Find out what they’re thinking and feeling as best you can. Ask whether they would like to talk with someone and whether they feel stuck in their grief.
If you feel stuck about how to help your teenager, please feel free to call. Even if you aren’t sure whether counseling is the right next step, at TTOC, a therapist always answers the phone or calls you back. We take plenty of 10–15 minute phone calls where we listen, answer questions, and talk through possible next steps, even with families who don’t end up booking an appointment.
In fact, sometimes we recommend that families watch and wait before deciding on therapy. In the case of teen grief versus teen depression, that may be exactly what your teenager needs. We’re happy to support you wherever you are in the process.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Sep 18, 2026 | Trauma Therapy for Teens
Trauma in Teens
Going through a traumatic experience can be incredibly difficult for a teenager. When a teen is still developing and trying to make sense of the world around them, trauma can leave a lasting impact. It can cause fear, anxiety, nightmares, flashbacks, and even physical discomfort. If your teen is struggling with these symptoms after a traumatic experience, they may be dealing with PTSD. The good news is that flash treatment for teens can help.
What Is Flash Treatment for Teens?
Flash treatment helps reduce PTSD symptoms and anxiety by decreasing the emotional intensity connected to a traumatic experience. Unlike some forms of trauma therapy, your teen does not have to describe the traumatic event in detail. During a therapy session, your teen participates in a deeply enjoyable activity that holds their full attention. This could be something they really enjoy watching, talking about, or doing. While your teen is focused on the activity, the therapist briefly introduces a “flash” connected to the trauma.
The exposure is so brief that your teen’s reaction happens subconsciously. They can continue enjoying the activity without consciously focusing on the traumatic memory. Because their brain is already experiencing positive emotions from the enjoyable activity, the brief flash can help reduce the intensity of the negative emotions connected to the trauma by reorienting the brain’s emotional response to the traumatic memory.
What Are the Benefits of Flash Treatment for Teens?
One of the biggest benefits of flash treatment for teens is that it is very gentle. Your teen does not have to share what happened or relive the traumatic experience to begin working through it. This can be especially helpful for teens who are uncomfortable talking about their trauma or worried that therapy will make them feel worse. Because much of the emotional shifting happens subconsciously, there is very little emotional discomfort during treatment. Flash treatment can also work relatively quickly compared to some other trauma treatments.
Of course, every teen is different, and no treatment works the same way for everyone. However, you can almost always tell within a few sessions whether flash treatment is a good fit for your teen. Many clients see a significant decrease in emotional intensity and reactivity after just 2–3 sessions, and research shows that these improvements can become lasting after just a few months of treatment.
How Flash Treatment Uncovers What Is Under the Surface
Oftentimes, people who come to flash treatment believe they know what is causing their distress, but the root of the problem may actually lie much deeper. Memories and emotional reactions can become connected to other experiences, even when those connections aren’t immediately obvious. In flash therapy, the therapist can help uncover what is really behind the distress. Once the underlying issue is addressed, your teen may be less likely to experience the same symptoms when they encounter new situations or reminders.
There Is Hope After Trauma
I know how difficult it is to watch your child suffer and feel like you can’t do anything to make it better. When your teen is dealing with PTSD or struggling after a traumatic event, flash treatment for teens may be able to help. Your teen does not have to face the effects of trauma alone. If you’d like to learn more about flash treatment or discuss what your teen is experiencing, feel free to call so we can talk about the next steps.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
