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Teen Video Game Addiction

Teen Video Game Addiction

a boy asleep on his keyboard with teen video game addiction
Sleep is vital to your teen. Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

What Teen Video Game Addictions Looks Like

Are you struggling with how to manage how much time your teen spends playing video games? You’re not alone. Many teens completely lose track of time while playing video games that are intense, competitive, and seriously addictive. Before you know it, they’re skipping sleep, avoiding exercise, socializing only through a headset, and their grades are tanking. So, what do you do about a teen video game addiction?

What To Do About Teen Video Game Addiction

You might be feeling frustrated, disconnected, and even helpless. You miss spending time with your kid, and now it feels like all they care about is getting back to their Xbox, PlayStation, or computer. It’s driving you up the wall, and it’s also pretty scary.

Possible Consequences of Teen Video Game Addiction

Teen video game addiction isn’t just about too much screen time. It can lead to emotional disconnection, physical health problems, and stunted development. These are serious issues, and the more aware you are of the risks, the more motivated you’ll be to set strong boundaries.

Step 1: Remember That You’re Still the Parent

Before making changes, remind yourself: you’re the parent. You don’t need to yell or be harsh, but you do get to set the rules in your house. You’re paying for the internet, electricity, and even the Xbox, and it’s your right to set limits. Once you embrace that, you’ll feel more confident taking the tough but important steps ahead.

Step 2: Reflect on How You’ve Set Loving Limits in the Past

Sit down and think about times you set boundaries out of love. When they were little, maybe you made them hold your hand while crossing the street. Maybe you didn’t allow them to swim in the pool without an adult watching them. These were all moments where you protected and guided them, even if they didn’t like it. It’s the same now. Write down 10 examples of times you set limits to keep them safe. These reminders will help you stay grounded when things get tough.

Step 3: Understand Teen Video Game Addiction Is a Big Deal

Now it’s time to think about the real consequences of teen video game addiction. If your teen plays for 5 hours a day, they’ll miss out on learning important social skills. Write down the risks to remind yourself why limits are necessary. You don’t have to share them with your teen. However, sometimes sharing your reasons is better. It helps them understand why you’re setting gaming limits. Use your best judgment based on your situation.

Step 4: Set Clear Limits and Consequences

Sit down and decide on what limits you want to set. Consider these questions:

  • How much screen time is okay each day or week?
  • What happens if your teen breaks the rules?
  • Are you going to have a “dry-out” period with no video games at all?

If you believe your teen truly has an addiction, it might be time for a complete break from gaming for at least six months. That may sound intense, but just like any addiction, they need space to reset and detox from the habit.

Step 5: Hold the Line

When you’re ready, present the plan to your teen. Expect pushback. You may get anger, tears, or even insults. Stay calm. Be kind, but firm. Show empathy—after all, they’re losing their favorite activity and their way to talk to online friends. But don’t waver. This is not a negotiation. This is a safety intervention. You’re the parent, and this is your house.

Don’t Give Up

This process isn’t easy. Addressing teen video game addiction can be tough, especially when your teen looks fine sitting at home. But the risks—like social isolation, inactivity, and emotional stagnation—are very real. Stay strong. Be consistent and loving. Most teens eventually see what they were missing and appreciate your support. Parenting with love means doing what’s best, even if you’re not always liked.

Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT

Father-Teen Relationships

Father-Teen Relationships

Father with arm around son building their father-teen relationship.

Why Father–Teen Relationships Still Matter

When you have teenagers, it can sometimes feel like you’re not that important in their lives. You work hard to provide for them, save for their college tuition, and support their sports and hobbies. But when they barely say two words to you, it’s easy to wonder whether you’re making a real impact. So, how do you strengthen the father-teen relationship?

Feeling Distant in the Father–Teen Relationship

You might be gone most of the day at work, and when you are home, they’re out with friends. It’s like you barely see them, and when you do, it’s hard to connect. They’re not as affectionate as they used to be. You don’t play sports together like when they were younger. And if you’re being honest, you’re not exactly confident helping them with their schoolwork anymore (calculus, anyone?).

You Matter More Than You Know

Even when it doesn’t feel like it, your teen is watching you closely. They’re learning what kind of adult they want to be by watching how you live your life. They notice whether you treat your wife with respect. They see how seriously you take your job, your health, and your faith. And yes, they pay attention to the rules you set.

Setting Boundaries Shows Love

Your teenager won’t always show it, but they equate boundaries with love. Your teen feeling protected by you is a key part of the father-teen relationship. When you set a curfew, they may argue or act annoyed, but deep down, they know you care. Teens push back to see where you’ll stand firm. Teens may act mad when you give them rules to follow, but it lets them know you care enough to protect them. It helps them feel secure, even if they’d never admit it.

A Real-Life Example of a Strong Father–Teen Bond

I once worked with a sweet 15-year-old girl. Her dad insisted she be home by 11:30 after a school dance that ended at 11:00. She was furious—her date wanted to go out to eat and maybe even party afterward. Her dad didn’t budge. “Nothing good happens after midnight,” he told her. His daughter’s safety was more important to this dad than his daughter feeling happy with him. Showing this kind of care is important in every father-teen relationship.

Boundaries That Build Self-Worth

He also made her return a dress she and her mom had picked out. He said it was too short and too revealing. “It make’s people look at you like a woman,” he said, “but you’re still a teen.” She was mad, but she complied. She wore a more modest dress and came home on time.

When Protection Becomes a Lifelong Lesson

A week later, the boy stopped calling. He started seeing another girl who dressed more provocatively and didn’t have a curfew. The 15-year-old told me she realized he wasn’t really interested in her—just in what he thought he could get. She said she felt deeply loved by her dad’s protection. This teaches a key lesson about the importance of father-teen relationships, and how your protective instinct makes your teen feel loved and secure.

Father–Daughter Relationships: Setting a Standard for the Future

This kind of involvement sends a powerful message—especially in father–daughter relationships. When dads are engaged and set clear boundaries, they teach their daughters how they deserve to be treated. They help shape the kind of relationships their daughters will pursue later in life. Being protective and consistent builds trust, safety, and self-respect.

Father-Son Relationships

Father-son relationships can be just as confusing as father-daughter relationships, sometimes more so. Your son learns how to behave at work, how to treat women, what traits make up a responsible young man, how to use good judgement, and more from you. However, sometimes instead of listening to you, your son follows his friends’ examples. If his friends are making bad decisions, this can make the father-son relationship tough. If this is happening, please call, and we can discuss the next step for you and your teen. Otherwise, just keep setting boundaries and setting a good example for your teen. I promise you, the majority of teen boys do look up to their fathers when their fathers set good examples.

Sending a Message of Love

Dads, your consistency, your rules, your example, and your protection send a clear message to your teen: “I LOVE YOU.” That message matters far more than trying to be the “cool” parent. It matters for their safety, their confidence, and the kind of relationships they’ll seek in the future. Father-teen relationships have a big impact on teen lives, and remember, you matter more than you can imagine.

Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT

Teaching Teens Financial Responsibility

Teaching Teens Financial Responsibility

Teen girl who needs to learn financial responsibility holding four shopping bags. Photo Credit: Pixomar and freedigitalphotos.net
It’s easy to overindulge our teens.
Photo Credit: Pixomar and freedigitalphotos.net

Teaching Teens Financial Responsibility in an Affluent Area

Orange County, CA, is an area known for its affluence. Many parents can give their teens things they never had growing up. I often hear teens in my office talk about what kind of car they expect for their 16th birthday, or how unfair it feels not to have the newest iPhone. Some of them have part-time jobs, but very few are expected to pay for their own extras. It can be easy to overindulge teens, making teaching teens financial responsibility difficult. However, it’s not impossible.

How Entitlement Starts

It’s not hard to see how this mindset develops. As a parent, you want to give your teen a better start than you had. It’s also easy to get caught up in the local culture of status and comparison. You’ll especially notice this when your teen starts applying to colleges. Many of their peers are applying to expensive private or out-of-state schools, and if they get in, their parents figure out a way to pay for it.

The Line Between Support and Overindulgence

Here’s the tough question: how much is too much? There’s a very fine line between giving your teen a head start and unintentionally raising them to feel entitled. The real cost of entitlement shows up later—often when your child becomes an adult and doesn’t know how to work through challenges on their own. The line between support and overindulgence is key to teaching teens financial responsibility.

When It’s Okay to Say No

It’s healthy for teens to hear “no” sometimes. It teaches them to weigh whether what they want is truly worth the effort. When I was 15, I wanted private group lessons to improve at field hockey. My parents said I could do it—if I paid for it myself. Since the combined price of the 10 lessons was $500, and I earned $5 an hour babysitting, it would’ve taken me 100 hours of work to pay for them. I decided to practice with a friend at the park instead. And you know what? I improved just as much.

A Lesson Beyond the Field

That experience taught me a far more valuable lesson than better stick skills: money costs time, and both should be spent wisely. I’m sure it was hard for my parents to say no, but I’m so glad they did. And for the record, I didn’t stick with field hockey all that long anyway.

When It’s Okay to Say Yes

You don’t always have to say no. Sometimes it’s perfectly reasonable to treat your teen or support them financially. It can be a great way to recognize their effort or reward progress. The key is balance—use your judgment to decide when to say yes and when it’s better for them to earn it. If your teen already has a working phone but wants a newer model, consider having them pay for it. They might decide it’s not worth it, or they might save up and learn valuable lessons about budgeting. Teaching teens financial responsibility isn’t about never paying for anything for you teen—it’s about being thoughtful and consistent.

Teaching Teens Financial Responsibility By Meeting Your Teen in the Middle

Another good approach is to meet your teen halfway. If they’re saving for a big purchase, encourage them to save for half while you cover the other half. For example, my daughter wanted a new surfboard. I told her I’d pay for half, but she needed to pay for the rest. This made the goal more achievable for her, while still teaching important financial responsibility. She found a surfboard she loves, and she feels proud of herself for saving for half of it. You can do the same thing with your teen.

Teaching Teens Financial Responsibility Starts at Home

It’s easy to fall into the trap of overindulgence, especially in a place where it seems like everyone else is doing it. But letting your teen earn their own extras teaches them confidence, pride, and self-sufficiency. It’s fine to cover some stuff, like sports equipment. But if your teen wants an upgraded version of something they already own, that’s a great opportunity to let them to pay for it themselves. Teaching teens financial responsibility doesn’t mean depriving them—it means giving them the skills and mindset they’ll need to thrive as adults.

Helping teens grow and families improve connection,

Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT

Bipolar Disorder in Teens

Bipolar Disorder in Teens

People with Bipolar Disorder spend the majority of their time feeling depressed. Credit: tiniroma/ freedigitalphotos.net
People with Bipolar Disorder spend the majority of their time feeling depressed.
Credit: tiniroma/ freedigitalphotos.net

Understanding Bipolar Disorder in Teens

Bipolar disorder in teens isn’t well understood. There is a lot of chaos that comes with a bipolar diagnosis, and it’s a lot more serious than some people think. Below you will learn how to recognize bipolar disorder in teenagers and what to do about it.

Common Misconceptions About Bipolar Disorder in Adolescents

There are a lot of common misconceptions about bipolar disorder, especially in teens. Some people think bipolar doesn’t even exist in teens. Here are some common things people get confused about when it comes to bipolar disorder in teens.

Things People Get Confused About

Many people mistakenly think bipolar disorder is just mood swings or simply feeling up and down about life. Some believe it’s something a person can control on their own without help. There’s also a dangerous myth that suicide isn’t a concern because bipolar disorder isn’t depression. Others think bipolar disorder is rare or unusual. Still others believe that everyone with bipolar disorder experiences mania regularly, and that mania just means feeling happy. There’s also the misconceptions that there’s a specific test to diagnose bipolar disorder, and that it only affects adults.

Truths About Bipolar Disorder in Teens

  • In bipolar disorder, moods go beyond simple feelings of sadness or happiness. Instead, a person experiences full depressive or manic episodes. Depression may include symptoms like trouble sleeping, loss of interest, suicidal thoughts, low energy, and isolation. Mania involves mood swings, irritability, rapid speech, racing thoughts, grand ideas, less need for sleep, and restlessness.
  • Calling someone “bipolar” because they change their mind a lot is inaccurate. Many people change their opinions frequently—that doesn’t mean they have bipolar disorder.
  • Managing bipolar disorder usually requires a combination of medication, therapy, and good mental health habits. It doesn’t always mean lifelong therapy, but professional help is important, especially early on to regain and maintain stability.
  • Suicide is a serious risk for teens with bipolar disorder. During depressive phases, suicidal thoughts may arise. During manic phases, impulsivity may increase the risk of attempts.
  • While bipolar disorder is not the most common mental health diagnosis, it’s not rare either. It’s hereditary, so if a parent has bipolar disorder, their children have a higher chance of developing it too.
  • You only need to experience one manic episode to be diagnosed with bipolar disorder. People often assume those with bipolar disorder are always manic, but in reality, they spend most of their time in depression.
  • Online symptom checkers cannot diagnose bipolar disorder. Diagnosis must be made by a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist, who can also rule out other conditions that mimic bipolar disorder, such as drug abuse.
  • Bipolar disorder can be diagnosed in children and is often first identified during adolescence.

What to Do About Bipolar Disorder in Teens

If you suspect that your teen may have bipolar disorder, take them to see a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist. Give me a call, and we can discuss your child’s situation. I can either help your child directly or provide you with some great referrals. With the right combination of therapy and medication, your child can build a meaningful and fulfilling life.

Cyclothymic Disorder in Teens

Cyclothymic disorder is mild bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder in teens is not always so severe that teens experience suicidal thoughts. However, though the swings between mania and depression may not be as extreme, they still cause problems. Just because the disorder is mild, it is not easy to deal with. They may fluctuate between doing irrational things and feeling disinterested in life. While this type of bipolar disorder is less severe, it is still important to get your teen help if you think they might have this disorder.

Teens Living With Bipolar Disorder: There is Hope

Bipolar disorder is challenging both for teens and their families. Depressive episodes can be deeply painful, while manic episodes can cause irrational behavior and poor judgment. Bipolar disorder is heartbreaking, but there is hope for teenagers with this diagnosis through proper treatment and support.

Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT

Introverted Teens

Introverted Teens

Teen boy with book. Being an introvert is perfectly fine and normal. Photo credit: naypong via freedigitalphotos.net
Being an introvert is perfectly fine and normal.
Photo credit: naypong via freedigitalphotos.net

Concerns About Social Skills in Introverted Teens

As a therapist who works with teens, I get calls about all kinds of concerns—from drug use to slipping grades, to a teen asking for help but not saying why. One worry that comes up more than you’d think is whether a teen is social enough. Both parents and teens wonder: “Is something wrong if I don’t have a big group of friends?” I have good news! It’s okay to be an introverted teen!

The Pressure to Be Outgoing

We live in a society that glorifies extroverts. People who are outgoing, surrounded by friends, and constantly socializing often get the spotlight. It’s easy to assume being popular means being happy. Teens especially feel this pressure. At school, they notice who’s always laughing, smiling, and fitting in with the crowd.

It’s Fine to Be An Introverted Teen

But not everyone feels comfortable in big groups—and that’s totally okay. Some teens are naturally more introverted. They’d rather hang out one-on-one or spend time alone to recharge. I know this well because I’m the same way. Parents, don’t worry if your teen doesn’t enjoy big social gatherings. That’s simply part of who they are, and it doesn’t necessarily reflect a problem with their personality or mental health.

What Does It Mean to Be an Introvert?

Introverted teens aren’t necessarily shy or anti-social. They might enjoy people and activities but in small doses. After being around others, they often need alone time to regroup. While extroverts thrive on group energy and constant interaction, introverts prefer quiet reflection and close connections.

Introversion vs. Extroversion

If you’re an introverted teen, here’s the good news: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Our culture tends to value busyness and constant socializing, but that’s not the only way to live a fulfilling life. About half of people are introverted—so you’re not alone. You may need time to slow down, think, and recharge. That’s not a flaw; it’s a strength. There’s also nothing wrong with being extroverted. Extroverts have their own strengths and weaknesses, just like introverts. These are just different personality traits. It’s okay to be introverted.

What Parents of Introverted Teens Should Know

If you’re a parent and this sounds like your teen, take a breath. It’s okay if your child prefers quiet nights to crowded parties. If your teen is content, functioning well, and seems emotionally balanced, there’s no need to worry.

What You Should Be Concerned About

On the other hand, if your teen desperately wants to connect but can’t because of anxiety or depression, you should talk about it with a professional. Unlike introversion, anxiety and depression are problems that need addressing. However, the good news is, if your teen is experiencing this, there is help. Give me a call, and we can talk about what your teen is going through.

Supporting Introverted Teens

If your teen is simply more reserved and recharges with alone time, embrace it. They’re likely thoughtful, observant, and emotionally aware. These are amazing qualities that should be encouraged, not changed.

Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT