by Lauren Goodman | Oct 15, 2026 | Depression Therapy for Teens
Entitlement in Teens: How Can Parents Help?
A while ago, I had the opportunity to hear John Townsend speak. He is witty, engaging, and above all, wise. He had some great things to say about entitlement in teens.
One of his key points was that we should be careful about saying, “I deserve” something. When we think we deserve something, we start to believe it’s owed to us. This can leave us feeling upset when we don’t get what we want. It can also keep us from seeing what we can do to work toward our goals.
What to Do About Entitlement in Teens
If your teenager says, “I deserve an iPhone,” they are putting the responsibility for getting one entirely on you. They are relying on you to provide it rather than thinking about what they can do to earn it. Instead, it’s helpful to teach your children (and remind yourself) to say, “I’m responsible.” This shifts the focus from what someone owes them to what they can do to reach their goals.
When teens learn to take responsibility, they can begin to see that their choices and efforts matter. They can work toward what they want rather than expecting someone else to provide it. This approach can help reduce entitlement in teens while teaching motivation and goal-setting, two skills that are important as they grow into adulthood.
The Expectation of Special Treatment
Another important point Dr. Townsend made was that we need to be careful about thinking we’re exempt from responsibility or owed special treatment. When you first hear that, you might think it doesn’t apply to you. I did too! But he explained that we all fall into this way of thinking sometimes.
For example, we might share our opinions without considering someone else’s feelings. This can happen especially on social media. At the same time, we may get upset when someone shares an opinion that goes against our own. We expect others to accept our views, but we don’t always offer them the same courtesy. Recognizing these habits in ourselves is an important step toward helping our teens develop a healthier sense of responsibility.
One Common Area of Entitlement in Teens
When it comes to entitlement in teens, I often hear about expectations involving teachers and coaches. Parents sometimes tell their teenagers that they have a bad teacher or a bad coach. When parents do this in front of their teens, it can reinforce the idea that other people are the problem and that their child shouldn’t have to deal with difficult situations.
Some parents even change their teenager’s school schedule to get a particular teacher and avoid others. If you’ve done this, consider asking yourself: Does my child deserve the best teacher? Of course, it’s wonderful when a teen has a great teacher or coach. But does anyone deserve to have only the best experiences?
And there’s that word “deserve” again. Every teacher and coach will have different strengths and weaknesses. Even if some seem to have more weaknesses than strengths, learning to work with people you struggle to get along with is an important life skill.
Responsibility in Teens
Rather than teaching your child to expect the perfect teacher, help them learn how to take responsibility for their education. Encourage them to find ways to learn, ask questions, and work toward a good grade, even when a teacher’s style doesn’t match their learning preferences. Learning to handle less-than-ideal situations can be just as valuable as learning the subject itself.
Think about how often you’ve used the trigonometry you learned in 11th grade. Now compare that with how often you’ve had to work with a difficult boss, coworker, or client. Learning to manage challenging relationships and situations can serve you throughout your life. Those experiences in school may help prepare your teen for the challenges they’ll face as adults. Teaching responsibility is one of the most effective ways to address entitlement in teens.
What Can Parents Do About Entitlement in Teens?
First, model the behavior you want to see. Show gratitude for the good things in your life, and avoid acting as though you’re owed everything you have. From a faith perspective, remember that God gives and takes away as He wills. When your teens see you practicing gratitude and taking responsibility, they have an example to follow. They can learn to work hard, appreciate what they have, and handle disappointment without feeling that everything is unfair when they don’t get their way.
At Teen Therapy OC, helping teens take responsibility and reduce entitlement is an important goal in many counseling relationships. Some teens struggle when parents take away their phones or don’t let them go out with friends. They may feel that these limits are unfair, even when parents are setting them for good reasons. Of course, not every teenager struggles with entitlement. But when it becomes a pattern, counseling can help teens understand their feelings, take responsibility for their choices, and develop healthier ways to handle frustration. This can lead to better relationships between teens and their parents and a happier home for everyone.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Oct 15, 2026 | Parenting Techniques
Helping Your Kids Get Along
Sibling relationships among teenagers can look very different from one family to another. I’ve seen siblings who are best friends and others who seem to be bitter enemies. Most sibling relationships fall somewhere in the middle.
If your children are close, consider yourself lucky! You may have also done things to help them build a strong bond. Either way, it’s wonderful to see your kids love and enjoy one another.
If your children don’t get along, their personalities may be part of the reason. Sometimes siblings naturally clash no matter what their parents do. In other cases, there are steps you can take to help improve their relationship.
1. Let Them Be Different
It’s important to let your children be themselves. They won’t perform equally well in school, sports, or social situations. Each child has their own strengths and weaknesses.
Help each child improve in areas where they struggle while encouraging them to grow their strengths. Most importantly, avoid comparing your children to one another. Most kids already compare themselves to their siblings, so hearing those comparisons from a parent can make things worse.
When children feel accepted for who they are, they have less reason to compete for approval. This can help create healthier sibling relationships.
2. Give Each Child Their Own Interests and Time With You
It can be helpful for siblings to share some things while having other things that belong just to them. This includes possessions, sports, friends, goals, and time with their parents.
One-on-one time with each parent is especially important. Try to plan fun activities with each child individually. This doesn’t mean driving them to sports practice. It could mean going on a hike, playing mini golf, or doing something else you both enjoy.
Giving each child individual attention helps them feel valued. It can also reduce competition and support better sibling relationships.
3. The Oldest Sibling Is Not a Third Parent
Older siblings aren’t responsible for their younger siblings’ happiness or behavior. Unfortunately, this is an issue I often see come up in therapy. Older siblings often feel it’s their job to keep a younger brother or sister on track. When the younger child makes poor choices, the older sibling steps in and tries to act like a parent. In counseling, we work on helping older siblings understand that their role is to be a big brother or big sister, not another parent.
Younger siblings often need someone they can trust, talk to, and learn from. An older sibling can offer support and perspective without taking responsibility for every decision the younger child makes. Clear boundaries can help protect sibling relationships and allow both children to enjoy being siblings.
4. Build Trust to Strengthen Sibling Relationships
Avoid making your children spy on one another or report every little mistake to you. Of course, if one child is doing something dangerous such as using drugs, it’s important for you to know. Safety should always come first. However, asking siblings to report every small problem can create an environment of mistrust. Children may start to see each other as opponents instead of family members they can rely on.
It’s also important to give older siblings some freedom from younger ones. While it can be nice for an older child to include a younger sibling sometimes, it shouldn’t be expected every time. I grew up with a close friend who was required to bring her younger siblings everywhere. We never got to hang out without them. Even though we liked the younger kids, sometimes our friend group just wanted time on our own.
Allowing siblings to have separate friendships and activities gives them room to grow as individuals. It can also help them appreciate the time they do spend together.
Sibling Relationships Can Improve Over Time
Creating a loving family where siblings get along can be a challenge. Sometimes, closeness comes naturally. Other times, parents have to work hard to help their children build a stronger bond. And in some families, even the best efforts don’t lead to an especially close relationship during childhood.
Still, there’s reason to have hope. Siblings who struggle to get along as children still frequently develop a special closeness as adults. Sibling relationships can teach valuable life skills, including patience, handling frustration, working together, resolving disagreements, setting boundaries, building friendships, and sharing. These lessons are important long after childhood. Even when siblings don’t always get along, learning to respect one another can help them build healthier relationships throughout their lives.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Oct 4, 2026 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
How Do Today’s Teens Find Happiness?
Happiness for teens can sometimes feel hard to find. If you’re reading blogs on this site, it may mean that you or someone you love is struggling to feel happy. I’ve been there too, and I know how hard that can be.
We often look to things like a new outfit, the latest video game, a trip to a theme park, something good to eat, or especially social media. These things can bring us pleasure. For a few minutes, or maybe even a few hours, we feel happy. That feeling keeps us coming back for more. But eventually, those things can leave us feeling empty. So, what can help create more lasting happiness for teens?
5 Things That Can Increase Happiness for Teens
1. Practice Gratitude Every Day
There are probably people in your life that you rely on. Maybe it’s your mom who listens when you need to vent, a teacher who always takes the time to listen, or a friend who sits with you at lunch every day. Try to visibly thank someone each day. Send a text, write a note, or simply tell someone that you appreciate them. Making gratitude part of your daily routine can help you notice the good things and people in your life. Practicing gratitude is a simple way to create more happiness for teens and adults alike.
2. Learn to Challenge Negative Thoughts
It’s easy to think that nobody cares about you. You might believe you’re not as smart as someone else or that you will never accomplish much. The hard part is reminding yourself that these thoughts aren’t always true. Happy people work on challenging their negative thoughts. The first step is to recognize the thought. The second step is to test whether it is actually true. The third step is to replace it with something more realistic and positive.
For example, if you think, “Nobody cares about me,” look back at the last 24 hours. Did someone say hello to you, hug you, smile at you, give you a ride, or send you a message? If even one person did one of those things, you have evidence that your thought isn’t completely true. You could replace it with something like, “At least one person cares about me.” Learning to challenge negative thoughts can be an important part of happiness for teens.
3. Get in the Habit of Smiling
People often wait for someone else to smile at them first. If everyone does that, nobody ends up smiling. Try smiling first. It might feel awkward at first, but it can make a difference. When you smile, other people may see you as more friendly and approachable. This makes them want to smile back or spend time with you.
Smiling can also affect how you feel. Research has found connections between smiling, the brain, and our emotions. In fact, smiling is healthy. A simple smile can be one small step toward happiness for teens.
4. Exercise Can Support Happiness for Teens
Regular physical activity can be good for both your body and your mood. Exercise can give you more energy and help you feel better throughout the day. For teens, finding an activity they enjoy can make exercise feel less like a chore and more like something fun. It could be playing a sport, going for a walk, riding a bike, dancing, or doing another activity you enjoy. Exercise is one more tool that can support happiness for teens.
5. Make Time for Prayer or Meditation
Five minutes may not seem like much time, but taking a few minutes each day to slow down can help you step away from the busyness of life. Meditation can give your mind a chance to slow down and refocus. Prayer can do the same while also giving you time to connect with God. This can help remind you that you aren’t alone and that God loves you.
Taking even a few quiet minutes each day can support a better mood and a greater sense of peace, which can contribute to happiness for teens.
Happiness for Teens Comes From Daily Habits
Most if not all of these tips are things you’ve probably heard before. The bigger question is: What’s keeping you from putting them into practice? It may take some time to notice a difference, so don’t expect everything to change overnight. Start with one small habit and build from there. Happiness isn’t merely the result of luck or circumstances. Our habits, thoughts, relationships, and choices can all affect how we feel. We may naturally focus on what’s going wrong, but we can also learn to notice what’s going right.
Finding happiness for teens isn’t about being happy every minute of every day. It’s about learning healthy ways to handle difficult emotions, appreciate the good things in life, and build habits that support your well-being. You can do it! Start with one small change today and see where it leads.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Oct 4, 2026 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
Is Your Teen Doing Too Much?
Many teenagers feel overwhelmed by everything they have going on. Between school, activities, sports, friends, and screens, it can feel like there is always something demanding their attention. Even when they look like they are relaxing, they may still be stimulating their minds with phones, social media, video games, or other screens. True downtime can be hard to find. There is also a lot of pressure to give kids every opportunity possible.
As a mom, I understand this pressure, and I struggle with it too. We want our kids to have a bright future, so it can be easy to feel like everything is important. We want them to build a strong resume, get into a good college, and have plenty of opportunities. But what does a good future really look like? Is it only about career opportunities? Or is it also about learning how to balance work with other parts of life? Teens need to learn how to manage their time, set priorities, and make choices based on what matters to them. Helping overwhelmed teenagers find that balance can be challenging, especially in today’s competitive culture.
Are Overwhelmed Teenagers Really Prepared for Success?
What if we spend so much time creating opportunities for our kids that we forget to teach them how to make the most of those opportunities? A teen might get into the college they or their parents have dreamed about, but they also need the skills to manage everything that comes with that experience. Teens need to learn many important skills as they grow. School and first jobs can help them learn how to work with others, meet expectations, and function in a work environment. But there is much more to becoming a successful adult than knowing how to get a good job.
Teens also need to learn how to care for themselves physically, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. They need opportunities to make healthy food and exercise choices, cope with difficult emotions, build strong friendships, and develop their faith if that is important to their family. There are many different parts of a healthy, successful life. Helping overwhelmed teenagers understand this can help them see that success doesn’t have to mean being great at just one thing.
How Can I Help My Overwhelmed Teen?
If your teenager feels overwhelmed much of the time, it may be helpful to take a closer look at how they are spending their time. Sometimes, too much energy is going toward one area of life while other important areas are being pushed aside. For example, your teen might be playing a high-level sport that takes 20 or more hours each week. That’s a significant time commitment and may leave little room for rest, school, friends, or family. In other cases, a teen might be taking five AP classes and putting most of their energy into academics.
For overwhelmed teenagers, balance can be just as important as achievement. Help your teenager think about what matters to them and what they want their life to look like instead of simply trying to keep up with what everyone else is doing.
A Personal Story About an Overwhelmed Teen
I know one young man who put most of his energy into academics and developed strong work habits. He took multiple AP classes and eventually attended USC, which was a great accomplishment. However, once he got to college, he realized there were other skills he still needed to develop. He struggled with relationships and peer pressure and had a difficult time managing the social side of college. Eventually, he left USC and attended community college while living at home.
During those two years, he had an opportunity to grow in some of the areas of life that had received less attention during his teenage years. He eventually transferred to LMU, graduated, and got a good job. His story had a positive ending, but the transition was difficult. Focusing heavily on academics had helped him achieve an important goal, but he also needed time to develop other parts of his life. His experience is a good reminder that success involves more than one area.
Helping Overwhelmed Teenagers Find Balance
If your teen is consistently overwhelmed, take a look at the balance in their life. Are they spending so much time on one goal that they have little time for anything else? Do they have enough time for sleep, relationships, hobbies, family, and simply taking a break? Help your teenager set goals that allow them to grow as a whole person rather than focusing on just one area. Encourage them to think about what matters to them and what kind of life they want to build.
Most of the time, feeling overwhelmed may be connected to having too much on a teen’s plate. But sometimes, there may be something else contributing to those feelings. If your teen continues to feel overwhelmed even after making changes to their schedule, therapy can be helpful. If you’d like additional support, please feel free to reach out.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Oct 3, 2026 | Depression Therapy for Teens
Why Good Sleep Matters
I’m bringing up the topic of teen sleep because I hear parents talk about it in my therapy office all the time. And honestly, how well and how consistently your teenager sleeps is a big deal. Good sleep is linked to happiness, a healthy immune system, school performance, memory, safe driving, and so much more. When teens don’t get enough sleep, it can affect almost every part of their lives.
Why Are Teens Struggling With Sleep?
Teenagers are known for giving up sleep to finish homework, text friends, play video games, or scroll through TikTok. But none of these are good reasons to regularly get less sleep than they need. If your teen stays up late once in a while to finish an assignment, that’s one thing. If they’re doing it night after night though, it can become a problem.
Surprisingly, teenagers still need a consistent bedtime. You do have to enforce it. Teen sleep is an important part of their health and well-being. If your teen has trouble waking up for school every morning, that may be their body’s way of telling you they aren’t getting enough sleep.
How Parents Can Support Healthy Teen Sleep
Parents play an important role in helping their teens develop healthy sleep habits. One of the best places to start is by looking at the sleep habits in your own home. First, try to make healthy sleep a priority for yourself too. Try to avoid staying up late watching TV or scrolling on your phone. When you’re well-rested, you’re likely to have more energy and patience for work, family, and friends. You also show your teen that getting enough sleep is an important part of taking care of yourself.
Second, make teen sleep a priority for your whole family. We talk a lot about the food we eat and how much we exercise, and those things are important. But we don’t always talk enough about the role sleep plays in our health. Getting enough sleep supports your immune system, improves concentration and thinking, lowers certain health risks, and helps prevent injuries. And honestly, it just feels good to wake up rested!
What If My Teen Is Sleeping Too Much?
On the other hand, maybe your concern about your teenager’s sleep comes from the opposite problem. If your teen naps often and still sleeps eight or more hours at night, there may be something else going on.
Excessive sleep, or hypersomnia, can be a symptom of several different problems, including depression, substance use, endocrine issues, or physical illness. That’s why it’s important to talk with your doctor if your teenager is consistently sleeping much more than expected.
Your doctor may recommend psychiatry or therapy, but they may also find another medical issue that needs attention. If your teenager regularly needs more than 10 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, it’s important to talk with their doctor.
Better Sleep Can Help the Whole Family
Once your family gets back on a healthy sleep schedule, everyone’s life can improve. We want to help your family understand the importance of teen sleep, especially for your developing teenager. Not only can better sleep support their health, but it can also improve their happiness and overall well-being.
Helping teens grow and improve family connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
