by Lauren Goodman | Jun 10, 2026 | Eating Disorder Therapy
Why Eating Disorders in Teen Girls Are So Common
Parents call me about many different concerns, one of which is the possibility that their daughter has an eating disorder. Once girls are in counseling, even if they came for a completely different reason, they frequently reveal that they believe they are overweight. Of the girls who believe this, a significant number are actively trying to lose weight. If those efforts become extreme or dangerous, they may qualify for an eating disorder. Lately, I have been seeing a lot of eating disorders in teen girls, so it seems like a good time to talk about this issue.
Common Warning Signs of Eating Disorders in Teen Girls
You may have noticed that I wrote, “If those efforts become extreme or dangerous, they may qualify for an eating disorder.” What exactly does “dangerous” mean?
Many girls (and sometimes boys) who are trying to lose weight turn to unhealthy methods. For example, frequent self-induced vomiting can cause serious health problems. It can damage teeth, injure the esophagus, and create electrolyte imbalances. In severe cases, those imbalances can even become life-threatening. There are many other dangerous behaviors used to lose weight. These include crash dieting, excessive exercise that leads to illness or injury, fasting, using laxatives, eliminating entire food groups, or using drugs to suppress appetite.
When Healthy Eating Isn’t Actually Healthy
Nutrition is an essential part of good health. Ironically, many girls struggling with eating disorders become obsessed with food and nutrition while still eating in very unhealthy ways.
One example comes from a girl I worked with who struggled with an eating disorder. She developed numerous misconceptions about food based on diet trends. She believed carbohydrates were harmful and were like poison for the body. If she ate only salads for lunch and dinner, she considered that a healthy day of eating. In reality, she had simply consumed too few calories while missing important nutrients such as carbohydrates and protein.
Treating Eating Disorders in Teen Girls
Therapists are not nutritionists, but we are often required to address nutritional concerns as part of treatment. Because of this, eating disorders are frequently treated with a team approach that includes both a therapist and a registered dietitian.
The dietitian helps the teen create a healthy eating plan. The therapist helps her manage the emotions that come with following that plan. For many girls, that emotional work is incredibly difficult and is a major part of recovery.
A medical doctor is also required to ensure that your teen is recovering their health (They monitor labs, check cardiovascular health, etc.). In addition to this, you, the parent, will play a vital role in your teen’s recovery. The therapist will teach you how to guide your teen’s eating habits and support them emotionally as they start healing.
The Emotional Side of Eating Disorders in Teen Girls
Eating disorders are primarily emotional struggles. Girls with anorexia often appear to be in complete control of their eating habits. On the surface, they may seem highly disciplined and determined. In reality, their eating behaviors are driven by deep feelings of shame, self-disgust, fear, anxiety, and dissatisfaction with themselves. Teens with bulimia often experience these same emotions. In addition, they often feel emotionally numb or disconnected during a binge episode.
Questions to Ask if You Are Concerned
If you are worried that your daughter may have an eating disorder, start by having a conversation. Ask her how she feels about her body. Ask whether she is trying to diet. Find out how much time and energy she spends thinking about food, weight, and exercise.
Most girls are aware of these things to some degree, but many still eat normally and exercise moderately. What you are looking for is whether the concern seems extreme or consuming. Also pay attention to how your daughter responds. If she becomes highly defensive, angry, or unwilling to discuss the topic, that can sometimes be a sign that something deeper is going on.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Jun 9, 2026 | Depression Therapy for Teens
Understanding the Signs of Depression in Teens
Lately, I have been receiving a lot of calls from parents who are worried their teenager may be depressed. The truth is that depression can look very different from one teen to another, which can make it difficult to recognize. Knowing the signs of depression in teens can help you identify when your child may need additional support.
1. Irritability and Withdrawal
One sign of depression in teens is irritability. Your teenager may have previously enjoyed spending time with family but now prefers to stay isolated in their room. If you ask them to come out and spend time together, they respond with frustration or annoyance. While some desire for privacy is normal during adolescence, a sudden and significant change in behavior can be cause for concern.
2. Changes in Sleep
Another common sign of depression in teens is a change in sleeping habits. Some depressed teens sleep excessively. They sleep through the night and still take long naps during the day. Other teens experience the opposite problem and struggle with insomnia or frequent waking during the night. If your teenager’s sleep patterns have changed dramatically, it is worth paying attention to what else may be going on emotionally.
3. Social Isolation and Loss of Interest
You may also notice your teenager becoming less social. Perhaps your child used to spend a lot of time with friends, text constantly, or look forward to social activities. Now they may seem disconnected from their peers and no longer interested in spending time with others.
Some teenagers begin expressing feelings that they do not fit in anywhere. Others become cynical and start saying that everyone is shallow, annoying, or difficult to relate to. When teens pull away from relationships and lose interest in activities they once enjoyed, it can be one of the signs of depression in teens.
4. Suicidal Thoughts
One of the most serious signs of depression in teens is talking about suicide. If your teenager is texting friends about suicide, writing about it in a journal, posting about it online, or discussing it openly, it should always be taken seriously.
It can be tempting to assume these comments are simply attention-seeking. Even if attention is part of the motivation, talking about suicide is not a healthy way to seek attention and should never be ignored. If your teenager is expressing suicidal thoughts, they need a professional evaluation as soon as possible.
When the Signs of Depression in Teens Warrant Seeking Help
Depression can leave teenagers feeling hopeless, isolated, and overwhelmed. The good news is that help is available. If you suspect your teenager may be struggling with depression, reach out for support. A mental health professional can help determine whether your child is experiencing clinical depression and what type of treatment may be most helpful. The earlier depression is recognized, the sooner your teenager can begin feeling better.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Jun 9, 2026 | Depression Therapy for Teens
Why Do Teens Need Enough Sleep?
Teenagers need approximately 9.5 hours of sleep each night, which surprises many parents. Even though teens may look like young adults, their brains are still developing and have a lot of growing left to do. This is one of the biggest reasons why teens need enough sleep. Unfortunately, most teenagers get closer to 6 hours of sleep on school nights. They are juggling homework, sports, extracurricular activities, and social media. There is so much pressure to succeed academically, athletically, socially, and still be a responsible kid at home. As a result, sleep is often the first thing they sacrifice. However, that’s a mistake. Sleep plays a major role in a teenager’s emotional health, academic performance, and overall well-being.
10 Reasons Why Teens Need Enough Sleep
1. It helps them concentrate in school.
2. It keeps their moods more even.
3. Sleep helps keep the immune system strong.
4. They have more energy.
5. It reduces symptoms of anxiety and depression.
6. Teens who are sleep-deprived eat more junk food.
7. Well-rested teens tend to have better judgement.
8. Getting enough sleep can help improve your teen’s memory.
9. Teens who get enough sleep are more social.
10. Teens who sleep enough are more respectful.
Making Sleep a Family Priority
The health benefits of sleep cannot be overstated. Sleep is essential for both their physical and emotional well-being. As a parent, you probably spend a lot of time encouraging your teenager to complete homework, practice good hygiene, and stay on top of chores. Sleep should be an even higher priority than all of those things. As a therapist who works with adolescents, one of the first things I assess during an initial counseling session is how much sleep a teenager is getting. Simply getting enough sleep can significantly improve their mood, stress level, focus, and overall mental health.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Jun 4, 2026 | Parenting Techniques
Why Positive Reinforcement for Teens Matters
When I was an intern, my supervisor often gave parents one simple piece of advice: “Catch your kid being good.” She explained that by the time many parents bring their teenager into counseling, they are already exhausted and overwhelmed. Exasperated parents often become impatient parents. Impatient parents become overly focused on the negative. Over time, this can create a relationship filled with criticism and frustration. Positive reinforcement for teens helps break this cycle.
How Negative Cycles Develop with Teenagers
I see this regularly in my counseling office. Most of the parents I work with deeply love their teenagers. They are not bad parents. Usually, they are simply overwhelmed and unsure how to help their teen stay on track.
Because of this, some parents fall into the habit of constantly correcting behavior as they see it. While correction may be necessary, this usually only works if the parent-teen relationship is in a good place. However, if the relationship feels strained, constant criticism can make teenagers become more defensive, irritable, or withdrawn.
Positive Reinforcement for Teens Through Encouragement
If you think you may be stuck in this cycle with your teenager, try something different for one week. As my former supervisor, used to say: “Catch your kid being good.” What does that mean?
Parents are usually quick to notice bad behavior. If a teenager lies, sneaks around, gets a poor grade, or talks back, parents naturally feel they need to address it. But when teenagers are respectful, honest, or responsible, parents often stay quiet because they see those things as expected. Instead of only commenting on the negative, try noticing the small positive things your teenager does each day. Positive reinforcement for teens often goes a long way in helping the parent-teen relationship.
Catch Your Teenager Being Good
For the next week, try making encouraging comments when your teenager is simply doing the normal “right” things. Maybe you come home and notice they already started their homework on their own. Instead of saying, “See? Isn’t it easier when you start early?” try saying something like: “That’s awesome that you took initiative and got your work done.”
If your teenager clears their dish after dinner, thank them. Try to resist the urge to immediately follow praise with another correction. For example, avoid saying: “Thanks for clearing your plate, but don’t forget you also need to wipe down the table.” Positive reinforcement for teens works best when encouragement feels genuine.
Small Encouragement Can Change Your Relationship
You have more influence over the tone of your relationship with your teenager than you may realize. A few encouraging words about the small things can completely change the atmosphere between you and your child. Teenagers almost always respond well when they feel noticed, respected, and appreciated. There is a very good chance your teenager will continue repeating behaviors that bring positive connection and encouragement from you.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | May 20, 2026 | Depression Therapy for Teens
Why Graditude is Important
Teaching teens to be grateful is incredibly important. Without gratitude, it’s easy for teenagers to spend all their time focusing on what they do not have instead of appreciating what they do have. Gratitude is one of the best ways to improve happiness, relationships, and overall enjoyment of life. Teenagers who learn how to be grateful often feel more content, more confident, and more connected to the people around them.
Teaching Teens to Be Grateful Through Responsibility
One of the best ways of teaching teens to be grateful is teaching them how to work for the things they want. Teenagers who understand that work leads to rewards usually develop much higher self-esteem. It’s completely natural to want to make life easier for your children by giving them the things you had to fight for. However, giving teenagers everything they want can sometimes have the opposite effect.
Teens who contribute toward the things they receive often appreciate them much more. For example, a teenager who helps pay part of their phone bill or earns gas money by helping around the house usually feels proud of what they earned. Instead of assuming their parents owe them something just because their friends have it, they become far more thankful when they are given things.
Modeling Gratitude for Your Teenager
Concepts are often caught more than they are taught. If you want to teach your teen to be grateful, they need to see it modeled by you. Examine yourself honestly. Do you complain about your circumstances? If so, your teenager will likely begin (or is already) doing the same thing. On the other hand, if you regularly point out the blessings in your life, your child learns to focus on gratitude instead of negativity.
For example, if money is tight, you can either focus on everything you do not have or focus on being thankful for what you do have while still working toward a better future. Your attitude has a powerful impact on the way your teenager views life.
Teaching Teens to Be Grateful Instead of Comparing
Comparison is one of the quickest ways to become unhappy. No matter who you are, someone will always seem to have more, do more, or look better. Teenagers especially struggle with comparison because of social media and peer pressure.
Teaching teens to be grateful helps them stop focusing so much on what other people have. Gratitude allows teenagers to enjoy their own lives instead of constantly measuring themselves against others. This does not mean teens should stop working toward goals or improving themselves. It simply means they can learn to feel content while still growing.
Final Thoughts on Teaching Teens to Be Grateful
My hope is that you help your teenager develop a thankful attitude throughout life. Gratitude does not mean pretending difficult things are good. It means learning to recognize that even during hard seasons, there are still blessings worth noticing. Teenagers who learn gratitude often become happier, more resilient, and more emotionally healthy adults.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
