What Do Chronically Ill Teens Experience?
If your teenager is living with a chronic illness, you know they may feel different from their peers. The limitations your teen faces are likely different from those of other teenagers, but what teens with chronic illnesses tend to forget is that there are still many experiences they have in common. Every chronically ill teen we’ve worked with at Teen Therapy OC has struggled with feeling “other” or different from their peers. Every young man and woman wants to do what other teens are doing without limitations. CBT for chronically ill teens can help ease some of this emotional pain and help teens regain their joy.
Chronically ill teens need to find a careful balance between doing as much as they can while also knowing when to slow down. If your son or daughter pushes too hard, they may experience a physical setback, which can make them feel even more isolated. If your teenager spends most of their time worrying about how to prevent a flare-up of physical symptoms, their life can become focused on carefully following rules instead of enjoying the moment. CBT can help them combat this.
How Does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Help Chronically Ill Teens?
Real Life Examples
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, usually called CBT, helps your child challenge self-imposed emotional and sometimes physical limitations. One chronically ill teenager I worked with developed POTS and EDS at age 16. Before becoming sick, she had been the life of the party, the most energetic, and one of the most athletic people in her friend group. When she could no longer maintain the energy needed to fill those roles, she completely withdrew from her social circle. We used CBT for chronically ill teens to challenge her belief that she was “only a valuable friend if she can entertain everyone.”
Another young woman was dealing with a physical condition that caused dizziness and fainting. Because of this, she developed a fear of going out in public unless she could be seated. I can completely understand how this fear developed; I would be scared too. She eventually underwent treatment that stopped the fainting, but the dizziness continued. Whenever she felt dizzy, she became afraid that she would faint, to the point that she stopped going out with friends altogether. The resulting social isolation became depressing. We used CBT to help her challenge her fear of feeling dizzy. Once she was able to face that fear, she started socializing more, which helped bring more joy back into her life.
CBT Increases Mental Flexibility in Adolescents
CBT can help increase your chronically ill teenager’s mental flexibility. Oftentimes, teens want to do things the same way they did before they became sick. However, that may no longer be possible. Your teenager may need to learn how to participate in activities as much as they can while also being willing to modify them. We challenge all-or-nothing and black-and-white thinking about what life can look like. Your teen can likely do more than they think. In my experience, I rarely see a chronically ill teen who consistently overdoes it. More often, the effort to control flare-ups and difficult symptoms causes teens to pull back farther than necessary.
For example, instead of no longer seeing friends, why not invite them over to watch a movie? There are many ways to participate in an activity without doing everything exactly as you did before. For your teen, partially participating can do a lot to maintain joy, connection, and mental health. When these areas of life improve, your teen may also be more likely to maintain some level of physical activity. This can support their overall health as well.
Chronic Illness and Chronic Pain Aren’t Easy for Teens
At Teen Therapy OC, we know having a chronically ill teen isn’t easy. We know this isn’t what any of you signed up for or how you expected life to go. We agree that it’s hard, and we wish you weren’t facing this. However, learning to first accept what cannot be changed and then find ways to live life as fully as possible may be the best option your teenager has right now. CBT can help with this. Please feel free to reach out with questions. While we don’t pretend to have all the answers, we may have a few ideas that could improve your teen’s quality of life.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT