by Lauren Goodman | Jul 7, 2025 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
Why Positive Thinking for Teens Matters
Are you worried your teen is stuck in a negative mindset? Maybe they’re anxious about a project, a test, or an upcoming sports game. When teens focus too much on negative thoughts, it often makes their worries worse. This affects how they feel and behave leading to more stress and anxiety. Fortunately, positive thinking for teens can actually help break this cycle. This will benefit your teen in bigger ways than you might expect.
What Is the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy?
There’s an idea in psychology called the self-fulfilling prophecy. It means when someone expects something to happen, they often act in ways that make it come true without realizing it.
What This Looks Like
For example, Justin might say, “I’m going to play terribly in my soccer game.” Feeling that way, he might eat candy for comfort or warm up less because he’s distracted by fear. Then, he actually plays worse than usual, which just makes him more anxious next time.
How Positive Thinking for Teens Changes Outcomes
But this works in the opposite direction, too. Positive thinking can lead to better outcomes. When teens expect good results, they often behave more confidently, which lowers anxiety and improves how things turn out.
What This Looks Like
For example, Melissa decides to think positively about her math test. Because of that, she studies with more focus and confidence. She’s also kinder to her parents since she’s less distracted by stress. Her parents respond with encouragement instead of pressure, which reduces her anxiety and helps her do better on the test.
The Power of Positive Thinking in Teens
When teens believe they can accomplish a task, big or small, their mindset improves. This motivation helps them take the steps needed to succeed. While believing alone doesn’t guarantee success, it often leads to better results and less anxiety. Since teens tend to expect negative outcomes, teaching them to focus on positive possibilities can greatly boost their motivation and self-esteem while simultaneously reducing stress.
Encouraging Positive Thinking in Teens Every Day
Positive thinking doesn’t always come naturally—especially for teens. Life can feel overwhelming, and this can make it hard to think positively. However, you can encourage them to see positive thinking as a choice they can make each day. Set an example for your teen by thinking more positively yourself. Even small mindset shifts can reduce anxiety and build confidence over time.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Jun 23, 2025 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
What Teen School Anxiety Looks Like
School can be a major source of anxiety for teens. For many, the stress shows up in two big areas: social pressure and academic performance. For some teens, school can feel completely overwhelming. As summer or winter break starts to wrap up, they become very stressed and irritable. Sometimes teens will make up excuses, so they don’t have to go to school. Teen school anxiety is a real struggle for adolescents, and it’s important to do something about it.
10 Tips to Help With Teen School Anxiety
Instead of seeing school as a place to learn, your teen may start to view it as a place where they’re constantly judged. This can cause significant stress and anxiety. The good news is that there are simple, helpful ways to ease teen school anxiety. Here are 10 tips that can make a real difference:
1. Study Ahead—Not Just the Night Before
Spread studying out over the week leading up to a test. Cramming at the last minute only adds stress and leads to burnout. Besides, if you don’t do all your studying last minute you will actually retain information better!
2. Don’t Believe Every Negative Voice
If someone says something unkind, it doesn’t make it true. What your family and God think of you matters way more. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, pray and refocus.
3. Breathe Deep
When anxiety hits—especially during a test—take a few slow, deep breaths. It helps calm your body and your mind.
4. Talk About It: Discussing Teen School Anxiety
Always remember, you don’t have to deal with teen school anxiety alone. Talking to a trusted friend, parent, or counselor can bring real relief.
5. Choose Friends Who Lift You Up
Friends have a big influence on how you feel day to day. Surround yourself with people who encourage you and bring out your best. If you have kind friends you will likely feel a lot happier socially.
6. Build Relationships with Teachers
Just saying hi or asking a question after class can make teachers feel more approachable. This can also help you feel more comfortable in their class, a key element in defeating teen school anxiety.
7. Cut Back on Caffeine
Too much soda or coffee can make anxiety worse. If you’re tired, try going for a quick walk or doing a few jumping jacks instead. Exercise will wake you up too—without the nervous jitters that caffeine can cause.
8. Stretch Between Classes
A simple stretch between periods helps release physical tension and gives your brain a mini reset.
9. Don’t Forget to Smile
If you’re feeling socially anxious, you might walk around with your head down. Smiling—even a little—can make you more approachable and open the door to conversation.
10. Sleep Is a Game-Changer
Not getting enough sleep makes everything harder. Not having enough sleep makes teen school anxiety much, much worse. You probably have to get up early for school, so make it a habit to go to bed earlier.
Defeating Teen School Anxiety
Teen school anxiety is real, but with a few changes, your teen can feel calmer and more in control. Start with a couple of these tips, and build from there—progress matters more than perfection.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Jun 22, 2025 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
Common Things Teens Worry About
You might wonder what your teenager is worried about these days. Of course, it varies from person to person, but here’s a run-down of the most common concerns I hear in my therapy sessions with teens. Understanding what teens worry about can help you connect with your child and support them more effectively.
1. Teens Worry About Parents’ Approval
Teens care deeply about what their parents think of them—even if they act like they don’t. Approval, praise, and support from you go a long way. Even when they push you away or seem distant, they’re watching and listening. They want to know they’re making you proud. This is something teens worry about, no matter how often they act like they don’t.
2. What Friends Think of Them
Adolescents are often consumed by worries about fitting in and being liked. It’s hard for them to see how little this will matter later in life. Right now, their world revolves around friendships, popularity, and social media. Fear of rejection or exclusion weighs heavily on them.
3. Keeping Up With Schoolwork
School stress is a huge part of what teens worry about. Some are worried about passing classes, while others stress over perfect grades. Many feel buried under the pressure to perform, and it’s easy for them to get overwhelmed. Even highly motivated teens can burn out.
4. Teens Worry If Their Family Is Okay
If something is off in their family, it becomes a huge part of what teens worry about. Even if teens don’t say it, they care deeply about their families. When parents argue, talk about financial stress, illness, or major life changes, teens pick up on it. Usually, teens don’t know how to talk about it. However, when the people they count on for safety seem upset or unstable, it makes them feel anxious.
5. Teens Worry About Their Future
With so many paths to choose from, it’s easy for teens to feel lost. They’ve heard all their lives that they can be anything—but choosing one thing can feel overwhelming. Thoughts about college, careers, and growing up bring on stress. They wonder, “What if I can’t do it? What if I fail?” These big questions are a big part of what teens worry about.
How to Help With What Teens Worry About
Teens have a lot on their minds, and the pressure to succeed—socially, academically, and personally—can feel overwhelming. As a parent or caring adult, your presence, empathy, and willingness to listen go a long way. When you understand what teens worry about, you can help them feel supported, safe, and capable of handling whatever comes their way.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | May 22, 2025 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
Concerns About Social Skills in Introverted Teens
As a therapist who works with teens, I get calls about all kinds of concerns—from drug use to slipping grades, to a teen asking for help but not saying why. One worry that comes up more than you’d think is whether a teen is social enough. Both parents and teens wonder: “Is something wrong if I don’t have a big group of friends?” I have good news! It’s okay to be an introverted teen!
The Pressure to Be Outgoing
We live in a society that glorifies extroverts. People who are outgoing, surrounded by friends, and constantly socializing often get the spotlight. It’s easy to assume being popular means being happy. Teens especially feel this pressure. At school, they notice who’s always laughing, smiling, and fitting in with the crowd.
It’s Fine to Be An Introverted Teen
But not everyone feels comfortable in big groups—and that’s totally okay. Some teens are naturally more introverted. They’d rather hang out one-on-one or spend time alone to recharge. I know this well because I’m the same way. Parents, don’t worry if your teen doesn’t enjoy big social gatherings. That’s simply part of who they are, and it doesn’t necessarily reflect a problem with their personality or mental health.
What Does It Mean to Be an Introvert?
Introverted teens aren’t necessarily shy or anti-social. They might enjoy people and activities but in small doses. After being around others, they often need alone time to regroup. While extroverts thrive on group energy and constant interaction, introverts prefer quiet reflection and close connections.
Introversion vs. Extroversion
If you’re an introverted teen, here’s the good news: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Our culture tends to value busyness and constant socializing, but that’s not the only way to live a fulfilling life. About half of people are introverted—so you’re not alone. You may need time to slow down, think, and recharge. That’s not a flaw; it’s a strength. There’s also nothing wrong with being extroverted. Extroverts have their own strengths and weaknesses, just like introverts. These are just different personality traits. It’s okay to be introverted.
What Parents of Introverted Teens Should Know
If you’re a parent and this sounds like your teen, take a breath. It’s okay if your child prefers quiet nights to crowded parties. If your teen is content, functioning well, and seems emotionally balanced, there’s no need to worry.
What You Should Be Concerned About
On the other hand, if your teen desperately wants to connect but can’t because of anxiety or depression, you should talk about it with a professional. Unlike introversion, anxiety and depression are problems that need addressing. However, the good news is, if your teen is experiencing this, there is help. Give me a call, and we can talk about what your teen is going through.
Supporting Introverted Teens
If your teen is simply more reserved and recharges with alone time, embrace it. They’re likely thoughtful, observant, and emotionally aware. These are amazing qualities that should be encouraged, not changed.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Apr 8, 2025 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
Why This Post
Being an OC teen is fun, but it’s not always easy. In this post, I’m sharing what some of my clients say about life as a teenager in Orange County. I’ve taken pieces of their stories and turned them into one voice—a fictional OC teen sharing their experience. This way, you can get a better sense of what it’s really like growing up here. I hope it helps you connect with your own teen and understand how they feel a little bit better.
Life for OC Teens
I’m a 13-year-old girl. I go to middle school, do homework, play sports, and go to church. Middle school is tough—there’s a lot of homework, and people are doing a bunch of new things. Some of those things are good, and some definitely aren’t. I also have a little brother I fight with a lot, but deep down I really care about him.
Why I Love Being an OC Teen
I love hanging out with my friends. We joke around and do silly things—like one time we got ice cream and yelled at cars to honk. It sounds silly, but it was really fun. I also love playing tennis. It’s one of my favorite things to do. But most of all, I love going to church. Not a lot of people I know go, but I really enjoy learning about Jesus and seeing my friends there. It’s one of the times I feel totally happy. When I wonder if I need to act differently to fit in, I remember the only thing that really matters is what Jesus thinks of me.
Why Being an OC Teen is Hard
I want to fit in and be popular, but it feels like the harder I try, the less cool I am. Sometimes I wonder if being cool means being mean, breaking rules, or having a boyfriend. At church, my pastor says being cool doesn’t matter—and I believe him—but it’s still hard to stop wanting that. A lot of kids are doing things I think are wrong, and the Bible says is wrong. Am I weird for not joining in? What if they’re having fun and I’m missing out?
Pressures OC Teens Face
I feel like I must be the best at tennis, have the best grades, and have the coolest clothes. And these are just a few of the pressures I face as an OC teen. I can’t just be good at something; I have to be the best.
Having the Best Grades
I get straight As, but that just makes it worse. Now I expect myself to get As. If I get a C on a test, I feel like everyone will be disappointed in me.
Being Good at Sports
I also feel like I have to keep getting better at tennis. I think if I could just improve one part of my game—like my serve—then I’d finally feel like I’m good enough at tennis. But there’s always something else to work on. How important are sports anyway? I’m not going pro; I’m just doing tennis for fun. But then why do I feel so pressured to do well?
Cool Clothes
Fashion changes so fast. Just when I get something cool, it’s not cool anymore. How much do other people’s opinions matter to me?
Wrapping Up
I hope you enjoyed reading from the perspective of an OC teen. My therapy office is located in Mission Viejo (a city in Orange County), so I wrote this post mainly about OC teens. However, these are joys, struggles, and pressures all teens face. So, what should we learn from how teens feel?
What Should We Learn from This
Let your teen have fun—but keep them safe. Talk to them about the choices they face and what the right decisions are, like whether or not to drink or do drugs. Support them when they’re struggling to fit in or feel overwhelmed by school or sports. These things matter, but they shouldn’t be too much. Most importantly, love your teen, listen to them, and help guide them through the ups and downs.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Apr 7, 2025 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
What Do Panic Attacks Feel Like?
Panic attacks are overwhelming. Ask anyone who has experienced one, and they’ll likely say they thought they were dying. Many people with panic attacks end up in the emergency room because the symptoms can feel like a heart attack. The fear and physical symptoms can be incredibly intense. Sadly, many teens experience them. If your teen is struggling with panic attacks, it’s important to understand what they are and how to get your teen the right help.
Panic Attacks vs. Anxiety
A lot of people say, “I’ve had a panic attack,” when they actually mean they felt very anxious. But panic attacks in go beyond regular anxiety. They come on suddenly, peak within about ten minutes (sometimes longer), and then pass. The experience can feel terrifying and unpredictable.
Common Symptoms of Panic Attacks
Some possible symptoms of a panic attack include:
- Dizziness
- Choking sensation
- Shortness of breath
- Chest tightness
- Nausea
- Sweating
- Headache
- Racing heart
- Pain or discomfort
- Feeling smothered
- Trembling
- Depersonalization (feeling disconnected from reality)
- Fear of dying
These symptoms can vary from person to person, but they are all distressing and can interfere with daily life.
How to Help a Teen Struggling with Panic Attacks
Overcoming panic attacks usually requires professional help. In many cases, a combination of therapy and medication is effective. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help teens learn how to manage their anxiety and panic responses.
Problems Panic Attacks Cause
If your teen is experiencing panic attacks, it’s essential to get them the right support. Some teens start avoiding situations where they’ve panicked before, like school or social events. This can lead to isolation and more anxiety. In addition to this, people with panic attacks dread when the next panic attack will come on. The sooner your teen gets help, the better they can learn to manage and overcome their panic attacks.
Final Thoughts
Panic attacks in teens can be scary, but they are treatable. If your child is struggling, give me a call. With the right help, your teen can regain confidence and feel in control again.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
