Why This Topic

This is something that’s come up recently, so I feel like it’s time to talk about it. For anyone reading this, please don’t take it the wrong way. This is an uncomfortable topic, but it’s one that needs to be discussed. This may be surprising, but if your teen is using, you may have something to do with it. Let’s explore how parents influence teen drug use.

Take a Look at Your Own Behavior

If your teen is dealing with substance use, it’s important to examine your own actions and habits. How parents can influence drug use in teens is often bigger than we realize. It’s hard to admit, I know. However, if you’re drinking a little too much, smoking marijuana, using painkillers every day, relying on sleep aids to get some rest, or even leaning on meds like Xanax to manage anxiety, it’s worth thinking about how that could be affecting your teen.

The Justifications We Make and How They Influence Teen Drug Use

If you do any of these things, you might be brushing this off by saying, “It’s prescribed,” “I’ve got it under control,” or “I just have one glass of wine to relax.” Or maybe you don’t drink a lot, but when you do, you end up getting buzzed or drunk. There are ways to justify pretty much anything, right?

How This Influences Teen Drug Use

The reality is that all of these habits are pretty unhealthy, even if they don’t seem like a big deal to you. Your teenager could be using them to justify their own behavior. And trust me, I hear it all the time in my office. I’ve worked with teens who drink heavily on weekends. So, I ask their parents to keep a dry house (meaning no alcohol in the house). Some parents agree without a second thought. But others might say something like, “I can’t have people over and not serve wine or beer. That’s unheard of.” This is usually because the parents enjoy alcohol a little to much to let it go. And guess what? The teen assumes it’s okay for them to drink because their parents do even if they’re heavily addicted and their parents aren’t. This is exactly how parents influence teen drug use.

Setting an Example

I’m not saying that having a “vice” or unwinding with a drink or two makes you addicted to drugs or alcohol. But if your teenager is struggling with substances, be honest with yourself. Could you stop smoking a joint if asked? Could you ask your doctor to help you get off your sleep aid or Xanax? Sometimes, just seeing you quit something could be enough to help your teen take their own struggles seriously. If you keep using, though, and tell them they need to stop, they’re going to see you as a hypocrite. This will make you lose credibility with them.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

At this point, your actions speak louder than anything you say. When your kids were younger, they took everything you said at face value. Now? They question everything and are watching you closely. And if you’re sneaking beer or smoking after they go to bed, trust me—they know. They’re more perceptive than we think. This is another way how parents’ behavior influences teen drug use.

A Call for Reflection on How Parents Influence Teen Drug Use

If this post is hitting home for you, please don’t see it as a criticism. Think of it as a nudge to really reflect on how your behavior might be affecting your teen. You can make a huge difference in their life by quitting your own bad habits. Besides, ending those habits will actually help you feel better too.

Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT