Concerns About Social Skills in Introverted Teens

As a therapist who works with teens, I get calls about all kinds of concerns—from drug use to slipping grades, to a teen asking for help but not saying why. One worry that comes up more than you’d think is whether a teen is social enough. Both parents and teens wonder: “Is something wrong if I don’t have a big group of friends?” I have good news! It’s okay to be an introverted teen!

The Pressure to Be Outgoing

We live in a society that glorifies extroverts. People who are outgoing, surrounded by friends, and constantly socializing often get the spotlight. It’s easy to assume being popular means being happy. Teens especially feel this pressure. At school, they notice who’s always laughing, smiling, and fitting in with the crowd.

It’s Fine to Be An Introverted Teen

But not everyone feels comfortable in big groups—and that’s totally okay. Some teens are naturally more introverted. They’d rather hang out one-on-one or spend time alone to recharge. I know this well because I’m the same way. Parents, don’t worry if your teen doesn’t enjoy big social gatherings. That’s simply part of who they are, and it doesn’t necessarily reflect a problem with their personality or mental health.

What Does It Mean to Be an Introvert?

Introverted teens aren’t necessarily shy or anti-social. They might enjoy people and activities but in small doses. After being around others, they often need alone time to regroup. While extroverts thrive on group energy and constant interaction, introverts prefer quiet reflection and close connections.

Introversion vs. Extroversion

If you’re an introverted teen, here’s the good news: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Our culture tends to value busyness and constant socializing, but that’s not the only way to live a fulfilling life. About half of people are introverted—so you’re not alone. You may need time to slow down, think, and recharge. That’s not a flaw; it’s a strength. There’s also nothing wrong with being extroverted. Extroverts have their own strengths and weaknesses, just like introverts. These are just different personality traits. It’s okay to be introverted.

What Parents of Introverted Teens Should Know

If you’re a parent and this sounds like your teen, take a breath. It’s okay if your child prefers quiet nights to crowded parties. If your teen is content, functioning well, and seems emotionally balanced, there’s no need to worry.

What You Should Be Concerned About

On the other hand, if your teen desperately wants to connect but can’t because of anxiety or depression, you should talk about it with a professional. Unlike introversion, anxiety and depression are problems that need addressing. However, the good news is, if your teen is experiencing this, there is help. Give me a call, and we can talk about what your teen is going through.

Supporting Introverted Teens

If your teen is simply more reserved and recharges with alone time, embrace it. They’re likely thoughtful, observant, and emotionally aware. These are amazing qualities that should be encouraged, not changed.

Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT