Why Overcoming Anxiety in Teens Is Important
Overcoming anxiety in teens is essential for helping them grow into confident adults. But how do you do it? To show how anxiety works and how to face it, let’s look at a fictional teen named Brandon who struggles with anxiety.
When Anxiety Makes You Want to Quit
Brandon just started college because he wants to be a teacher. But every time he faces a big test, he gets really anxious. His stomach hurts, he can’t eat, and the panic makes him doubt everything. He even thinks, “Maybe teaching isn’t for me. I was happier before college.” So, to avoid the stress, Brandon quits.
Why Quitting Makes Overcoming Anxiety in Teens Harder
Here’s the issue: the more Brandon avoids tests, the scarier they become. By quitting, he never gets a chance to prove to himself that he can handle it. Later, when he’s calmer, he regrets it. He still dreams of teaching, but now school feels even more overwhelming. And each time he avoids it, the fear gets stronger. This is a common pattern with anxiety—avoiding a fear usually makes it worse over time.
Overcoming Anxiety in Teens by Facing Fears Step by Step
When anxiety makes you want to run the other way, remember: if you give in, the fear usually grows. That doesn’t mean you have to jump into the scariest thing right away. Sometimes all it takes is a plan—and a little support. So how do you handle anxiety without quitting? First, find someone you care about who can guide you, support you, and hold you accountable when you feel like quitting. Then, face your fear one step at a time.
Work Up to It
One tool I use with teens is a “fear ladder.” You start by listing what scares you most, then break it down into smaller, more manageable steps. For Brandon, the ladder might look like this:
- College Finals
- College Mid-terms
- An online mid-term or final
- A college quiz
- An online quiz
- A practice exam on campus
- A practice exam at home
How to Use the Fear Ladder
Brandon would start with the easiest step—a practice test at home—and keep doing it until it doesn’t make him anxious anymore. Then he’d move on to the next step. Over time, he builds confidence. This is the key step in overcoming anxiety in teens.
What If You Get Stuck?
Let’s say Brandon works his way up to taking a real college mid-term but freezes and can’t finish. That’s okay. It just means he needs to break it into smaller steps. He might start by imagining himself taking the test successfully every day. Then, when he’s ready, try again. Small progress is still progress. Overcoming anxiety in teens is not always easy, but remember, you can do it!
Help Your Teen Push Through
If your teen is overwhelmed by anxiety in a specific situation, make them push through it (unless it puts them in danger). Avoiding the problem might bring short-term relief, but it builds long-term fear. By pushing through, they grow stronger and learn they can do hard things. Fortitude is built one step at a time. Let’s help our teens build it now, so they can be successful later.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT