Is Your Teen Doing Too Much?
Many teenagers feel overwhelmed by everything they have going on. Between school, activities, sports, friends, and screens, it can feel like there is always something demanding their attention. Even when they look like they are relaxing, they may still be stimulating their minds with phones, social media, video games, or other screens. True downtime can be hard to find. There is also a lot of pressure to give kids every opportunity possible.
As a mom, I understand this pressure, and I struggle with it too. We want our kids to have a bright future, so it can be easy to feel like everything is important. We want them to build a strong resume, get into a good college, and have plenty of opportunities. But what does a good future really look like? Is it only about career opportunities? Or is it also about learning how to balance work with other parts of life? Teens need to learn how to manage their time, set priorities, and make choices based on what matters to them. Helping overwhelmed teenagers find that balance can be challenging, especially in today’s competitive culture.
Are Overwhelmed Teenagers Really Prepared for Success?
What if we spend so much time creating opportunities for our kids that we forget to teach them how to make the most of those opportunities? A teen might get into the college they or their parents have dreamed about, but they also need the skills to manage everything that comes with that experience. Teens need to learn many important skills as they grow. School and first jobs can help them learn how to work with others, meet expectations, and function in a work environment. But there is much more to becoming a successful adult than knowing how to get a good job.
Teens also need to learn how to care for themselves physically, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. They need opportunities to make healthy food and exercise choices, cope with difficult emotions, build strong friendships, and develop their faith if that is important to their family. There are many different parts of a healthy, successful life. Helping overwhelmed teenagers understand this can help them see that success doesn’t have to mean being great at just one thing.
How Can I Help My Overwhelmed Teen?
If your teenager feels overwhelmed much of the time, it may be helpful to take a closer look at how they are spending their time. Sometimes, too much energy is going toward one area of life while other important areas are being pushed aside. For example, your teen might be playing a high-level sport that takes 20 or more hours each week. That’s a significant time commitment and may leave little room for rest, school, friends, or family. In other cases, a teen might be taking five AP classes and putting most of their energy into academics.
For overwhelmed teenagers, balance can be just as important as achievement. Help your teenager think about what matters to them and what they want their life to look like instead of simply trying to keep up with what everyone else is doing.
A Personal Story About an Overwhelmed Teen
I know one young man who put most of his energy into academics and developed strong work habits. He took multiple AP classes and eventually attended USC, which was a great accomplishment. However, once he got to college, he realized there were other skills he still needed to develop. He struggled with relationships and peer pressure and had a difficult time managing the social side of college. Eventually, he left USC and attended community college while living at home.
During those two years, he had an opportunity to grow in some of the areas of life that had received less attention during his teenage years. He eventually transferred to LMU, graduated, and got a good job. His story had a positive ending, but the transition was difficult. Focusing heavily on academics had helped him achieve an important goal, but he also needed time to develop other parts of his life. His experience is a good reminder that success involves more than one area.
Helping Overwhelmed Teenagers Find Balance
If your teen is consistently overwhelmed, take a look at the balance in their life. Are they spending so much time on one goal that they have little time for anything else? Do they have enough time for sleep, relationships, hobbies, family, and simply taking a break? Help your teenager set goals that allow them to grow as a whole person rather than focusing on just one area. Encourage them to think about what matters to them and what kind of life they want to build.
Most of the time, feeling overwhelmed may be connected to having too much on a teen’s plate. But sometimes, there may be something else contributing to those feelings. If your teen continues to feel overwhelmed even after making changes to their schedule, therapy can be helpful. If you’d like additional support, please feel free to reach out.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT