Managing Social Media with Teens

Social media is a game-changer for teenagers. It is so different than when we were kids. It has both negatives and positives, and consequently oversight is key when handling your teen’s social media.

 

Social media and texting are a necessary part of your teenager’s social development. This is how they make plans, deepen friendships, and keep tabs on their friends. However, do teens have the developmental ability to handle social media? This is the question you constantly need to ask yourself.

How can I help my 13-18 year old handle social media responsibly?

 After working with hundreds of teenagers in my counseling office, it seems parents who come alongside their children while they use social media see the best results. These parents use social media to teach responsibility, concern for reputation, empathy, and as a means to build trust.

Story of a parent who does this well:

For example, one of my good friends handles the way her adolescent uses social media admirably. This mom lets her daughter have certain platforms but checks in on her daughter’s posts at random. They sit down together and look through her feed. The mom asks all kinds of questions as she goes such as, “How do you feel about this post? How would an employer feel about this post? Do you think this person knows a mom is looking at this post?” This teaches her daughter to think critically about what teens put on social media.

When should I restrict my teen’s social media?

Parents need to restrict teen social media when:

• Adolescents use social media dangerously (posting provocative pictures, using it to obtain drugs, etc.).
• They are spending excessive time on social media when they could be exercising or building in-person relationships.
• It’s causing them to lose confidence.

The Bigger Picture 

It’s important to remember that social media is just another means to an end with your kids. Everything you have them do should have a bigger purpose in mind. You want to be constantly trying to use the events, people, and activities that come up in their lives to help develop them into a well-functioning adult. It should be your aim for them to be thoughtful, faithful, responsible, kind, passionate, driven, etc. Social media doesn’t have to be the enemy; you can use it to instill these good qualities in your teen.

 

Helping teens grow and families improve connection,

Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT