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Stress is manageable, but we have to control the extra little things that add to it.
Credit: David Castillo Dominici/

Here is a list of 5 things that raise anxiety that might surprise you:

  1. Watching a TV Series on Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, etc. It seems relaxing to sit down and watch a TV show, so why is this on the top of the list?  For your teenager, and probably for you too, having immediate access to a TV series causes stress.  This is because you get into the show and your brain finds pleasure in watching it.  When something interrupts you from watching it, you feel irritated.  This is where the stress comes in.  Homework becomes more annoying than usual for your teenager.  Chores aggravate, and so does really anything that gets in the way of finding out what happens next.  Consider watching things that have an end in each sitting like a movie or documentary.
  2. Reading/watching the news.  It is nice to know what’s going on in the world, but that’s only true to an extent.  Whatever is going on with national politics is likely to capture your attention and to cause you stress.  The thing about it is though, you can’t do anything about it.  You don’t have the time, money or influence to make much of a difference.  Beyond voting, donating a little to a cause, or calling your congressman, let it go.  Don’t get absorbed in every little crisis in the media each day.
  3. Checking emails/texts too often.  It’s okay not to check your phone more than once per hour.  It is disruptive, and it creates an anxiety that you must respond to whatever you’ve received immediately.  That also translates to an interruption in your present activity.  The more you allow interruptions, the less you can enjoy the present moment.
  4. Taking on too much activity.  For your teenager one or two social things a weekend is actually enough.  This is the same for you.  Don’t cram your day too full.  You actually can survive on less activity.  In fact, you might thrive on less.  If you’re constantly driving your teenagers to school, practices, friends’ houses and other activities, then maybe you’re saying yes too often.
  5. Commercials.  Commercials are designed to make you dissatisfied with what you have because dissatisfaction is a strong motivator to spend money.  If you look at magazines about fashion all the time, you’ll have anxiety that your wardrobe isn’t up to snuff.  If you constantly hear home improvement commercials on the radio, then you’ll think about that one project in your house you need to get done.  You probably won’t actually do it, but you will feel an increase in stress.  Your teenager is susceptible to this even more than you are.  Try to limit how much exposure they have to advertising.  I know we don’t live in caves, and so totally avoiding advertising is impossible.  However, we can try to maximize the amount of time we aren’t exposed to commercials.  When we’re reading, hiking, playing sports with friends, at the beach, swimming, etc., we’re not being fed messages of discontent.  The more screen time we have, the more we are told the way we do things isn’t good enough.

Helping teens grow and families improve connection,

Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT