Teaching teens about money is very important. Image courtesy of sscreations at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
How to Teach Teens About Money
It’s crucial for teenagers to develop financial literacy before they enter adulthood. As a parent, you likely already understand this and are taking steps to prepare your teen for financial independence. Here are four highly effective strategies that parents of my clients have used to teach their teens about money:
1. Teaching Teens About Money Through Incentivized Savings
Developing the habit of saving is a key financial skill. Some parents I’ve worked with have successfully encouraged their teens to save by offering incentives—whether by matching their savings or providing other rewards. This approach fosters collaboration between parents and teens in setting financial goals. This way, they can then create a plan and work together to achieve them. By guiding their adolescents through the entire savings process, parents help instill lifelong financial discipline.
2. Teaching Teens About Money by Showing the Value of Financial Decisions
Furthermore, encouraging teens to consider the value of their purchases and financial choices can make a lasting impact. This is vital when teaching teens about money. For instance, a 17-year-old client of mine realized he had a sense of entitlement and wanted to work on it. His parents helped him weigh the financial pros and cons of attending an out-of-state college versus a more affordable in-state option. After thorough research and discussions, he chose a school that was the best financial fit for his career goals rather than the most prestigious option. This experience taught him valuable lessons in financial responsibility and smart decision-making.
3. Encourage Teens to Pay for Their Wants
Teens often struggle to distinguish between wants and needs. Consequently, having them pay for their wants is very important when teaching teens about money. One teenage girl I worked with insisted she needed her own car. Instead of buying one for her, her mother encouraged her to save for it. After realizing how expensive cars are—especially when purchased with her own money—she became more content with driving the family’s older truck. Through this experience, she learned to prioritize practical features like fuel efficiency and maintenance costs over aesthetics. She also became more mindful about her spending habits and learned the value of hard work.
4. Support Teen Employment for Financial Growth
Moreover, encouraging (or even requiring) teens to get a job can have tremendous benefits. This makes it a key step in teaching teens about money. Aside from boosting self-esteem, working teens tend to be more responsible with money. They also get into less trouble and develop a greater appreciation for their parents. Many of my counseling clients who started working not only stopped asking their parents for money but also took pride in their ability to support themselves. They quickly learned to differentiate between needs and wants and developed a stronger work ethic.
Final Thoughts on Teaching Teens About Money
There are many ways to teach teens financial responsibility, such as budgeting, charitable giving, and learning the basics of investing. However, these four strategies are among the easiest to implement and provide an immediate, meaningful impact. At their core, they teach patience and delayed gratification—essential skills for lifelong financial success.
By guiding your teen toward financial independence, you’re not just teaching them about money. You’re preparing them for a successful future.
The guilt and shame associated with teen use of porn is intense. Image credit: suart miles via freedigitalphotos.net
Prevalence of Adolescent Pornography Use
Sadly, teen pornography use is prevalent, and finding help for adolescent pornography use is vital. According to internetsafety101.org, most pornography contains violence and bad language. Over half of teen boys aged 12 to 15 have viewed internet porn, and almost a third of girls in that age bracket have as well.
Desensitization to Pornography
What’s more disturbing: internetsafety101.org also reports that two thirds of young men and half of young women see viewing pornography as an acceptable thing to do. When people are consistently exposed to something, they start tolerating it even if they were once appalled by it. This is why many people don’t even realize help for adolescent pornography use is necessary. In the world of psychology, this is called desensitization.
What’s Wrong with Adolescent Pornography Use
For parents who are trying to preserve the sanctity of sex in a committed relationship and trying to teach these values to their children, adolescent pornography use is cause for concern. These videos teach your children the opposite of what you want them to think about intimacy, emotional connection, marriage, monogamy, and respecting women.
Signs of Adolescent Pornography Use
Here are some signs that your teen might be using the internet inappropriately:
They consistently clear their browser history.
They regularly close a tab on their phone whenever you walk into the room.
They excessively masturbate.
They won’t allow you to see what apps they keep on their phone.
They close the door to their room whenever they’re on their computer, tablet or phone.
They use terms you don’t think they should know when they discuss sex.
Just because these signs are present doesn’t mean your teenager is viewing pornography. However, it’s worth asking the question just in case you need to get help for your adolescent’s pornography use.
How to Help Your Teen If They’re Using Porn
What do you do if you find out your teenager is watching porn? How do you get help for your adolescent’s pornography use?
The Natural Response
Getting angry is a natural response. You probably feel betrayed by their lying and sneaking. It’s also scary to think about what harm they might have done to their relational development. However, this will not help stop your adolescent’s pornography use.
How You Should Respond
Instead of getting mad, try to focus on what you’re feeling underneath the anger. That’s what’s worth expressing to your child because those are the things that will make an emotional impact and help your adolescent with their pornography use. Yelling at them will just deepen the shame I can almost guarantee your teen is feeling.
Restrict Your Teen’s Internet Use
You will also need to place tight restrictions on their internet use and closely monitor their online activity. There is a natural high that occurs from viewing sexual content, making it very addicting. If your teen stops having access to porn, slowly they will stop craving it. Restricting internet use is a big help in stopping your adolescent’s pornography use.
Get Your Teen a Therapist
Oftentimes therapy or counseling is necessary if adolescent pornography use is frequent. Your teen may need to work with a therapist who has experience in treating porn addiction.
Why Therapists Can Help with Adolescent Pornography Use
Teens can feel a lot of embarrassment for this behavior. Consequently, they’re often reluctant to share how extensive their pornography use is. However, a good counselor for teens will know how to delicately maneuver through these emotions.
Finding Help for Adolescent Pornography Use
If you have more questions about the situation your teen is dealing with don’t hesitate to call. We can help you determine if therapy is necessary in this situation. We even offer teletherapy for California residents who live outside Orange County. Adolescent pornography use is heartbreaking; we’re here to help.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Down time makes stronger families and happier teens. Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
What Keeping Your Teen Too Busy Looks Like
Here in Orange County, keeping your teen too busy is normal. Most families have their adolescents enrolled in multiple extra-curricular activities, playing sports constantly, and more. On top of all this, your child has school, homework, and hangs out with friends. While this is normal, it’s not necessarily a good thing.
What’s Wrong with Keeping Your Teenager Too Busy
While some kids thrive on this, for most it adds a lot of stress. Even though most of the activities your adolescent participates in are fun (except school), too much is still stressful. You must teach your teen that saying no, even to fun things, is important for mental health. Children (and adults) need down time.
How to Lower Your Teen’s Stress
If you’d like to see your child feel less stressed and have less anxiety, try taking one day a week and resting. Turn off the electronics, don’t go anywhere with a schedule, and slow down. Eventually your teen will learn how to rest, a skill that will remain invaluable for the rest of their life.
How Your Teen Might Resist Resting at First
At first, your adolescent will probably resist resting. They might say, “I can’t have my phone off because someone might text me about homework.” This is just one of many excuses your teen might make. Don’t buy into that. Keeping your teen too busy is bad; they need to rest! After a while, your kid will be grateful for the reduced activity.
Set A Good Example
This starts with you. You have to start saying no to activities (even fun ones) and stop using electronics all the time. Teens are starting to formulate their own values and opinions, but they’re still heavily influenced by you. I know this is hard. It’s hard for me too, but you can do it!
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Choosing to admit a mistake can be really difficult. Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Why is Admitting We’re Wrong Important
It’s hard to admit we’re wrong. I know; I’ve been there. It’s important to acknowledge mistakes not just in relationships, but in life too. Rather than cover up a mistake, it’s better to admit you’ve done wrong and accept the consequences. Continuing in the mistake only leads to much greater consequences when it all unravels later.
What to Do When You Make a Mistake
There are three choices you can make when you do something wrong, and it’s important to pick the right one. Everyone faces these choices at some point (including me!), but not everyone makes the right decision (spoiler alert! Admitting we’re wrong is always best).
Choice #1: Ignore the Problem
You could pretend the problem doesn’t exist and hope it goes away on its own. Unfortunately, this is not only dishonest, but it can lead to huge consequences if the issue doesn’t go away by itself.
Choice #2: Try to Cover Up for the Mistake
You could try to get people to act differently or get rid of the evidence of your mistake. This isn’t the right choice either because, again, it’s dishonest and it doesn’t usually work.
Choice #3: Admit You Were Wrong
Choice #3 is the right decision to make, but it’s also the toughest. It feels shameful to tell people you’ve messed up on something when you should have known better, and it doesn’t feel good to face consequences. However, fixing the problem instead of running from it can prevent a lot of damage.
Examples of When Admitting We’re Wrong is Important
For example, a client of mine rolled their eyes at a teacher. Instead of admitting they were wrong, they denied their fault. Then they complained to a friend about the teacher but the teacher overheard, and now they’re really in trouble. As you can see here, admitting we’re wrong is hard, but it’s important to do it.
Admitting We’re Wrong Builds Trust
If you can get into the habit of admitting errors before they blow up into something big, you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble. People will trust you when you say things. They’ll know you’re not guilty of something when you say you didn’t do it. Why? Because you admit you did do it when you’re guilty.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Stop entitlement and create grateful teens! Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
How Entitled Teens Act
Sadly, there are many entitled teens in the world today. Entitled teens leave parents feeling unappreciated, frustrated, and sometimes disgusted. They believe they deserve some huge privileges ranging from new clothes to a car to a college education. What do you if your teen is entitled?
Examples of Entitled Teens
While many teens are grateful for things, lots of teens believe they have a right to what they receive. It’s important to recognize if your teen is entitled. To help you do this, I’ve provided some examples of entitled teens below.
Example #1
I once talked to an entitled girl who said, “I need my mom to take me shopping.” Since she always wears nice clothes, I asked her why. She told me, “Well, my friends all want to wear purple dresses on Friday. My mom won’t take me shopping. Can you believe that?” I asked her why she couldn’t use her own money. She looked shocked and said, “Well I shouldn’t have to buy my own clothes.”
Example #2
I worked with another boy who felt upset because his father was going to give him a hand-me-down car. His father had recently remarried and planned to purchase a BMW for his new wife meaning his son would receive her fairly new Volkswagen. He said, “Can you believe he’d buy her a new car when I’ve always wanted a BMW. It’s like he’s doing that just to spite me!”
What Causes Entitlement in Teens
What causes teens to become entitled? Usually this comes from you as parents. Fortunately, this also means you have the power to change it!
Saying Yes Too Much
How did you cause this? It probably started when your teen was just a toddler. Many parents say yes to their children, even after they’ve already said no. If you’ve been giving your kid whatever they want since they were little, it’s no surprise that they’re entitled. They know if they argue with you, they’ll get what they want.
Giving Your Teen Things Out of Guilt
Other times parents cause their teens to have an entitled attitude out of guilt. In the previously mentioned situation with the BMW, that father felt guilty after getting divorced. So, he bought his children whatever they wanted so he could see them happy again. While I understand feeling this way, this made his teens become entitled.
What to Do About Your Entitled Teen
However, no matter what caused it, now you have an entitled teenager. What do you do about it?
Say No
Start saying no when your teen asks for new things they don’t need. If they try to argue with you, don’t respond until they’re in a mood to actually listen and learn. Then you can explain why you said no. This will build your teen’s character and combat their entitled attitude.
Set a Good Example
The second thing you need to do is set a good example. Don’t indulge yourself at every whim. Don’t go get your nails done because you’re sad, buy a new car because you’re bored with the one you have, or redecorate the inside of your house because it’s not the latest style. Let your teenager overhear you saying you’re going to save money and then follow through with it. This will teach them the difference between a want and a need.
Let Them Work for Things
Finally, allow your teen to work for the things they want. When they ask you for the latest gadget, tell them sure… you’ll be happy to take them to buy it when they earn the money to purchase it. Once they realize this is how things go, they won’t ask you for so many things, and they’ll like what they have for longer. Suddenly the iPhone they already own is actually “just fine.”
Helping Your Teen Go from Entitled to Grateful
Following these tips will make life easier for you and your teen. You won’t feel the need to get your teen new things all the time, and your teen will be satisfied with what they have. You can do it! It might not be easy or work right away, but consistently doing these things will help your teen go from entitled to a grateful, hardworking young man or woman!
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Hello, I’m Lauren! If you notice your teen struggling, you might be feeling helpless, hopeless, frustrated or concerned as a parent. Try to remember, there is hope. I want to help your adolescent feel better. My hope is for them to enjoy their life again. I want them to feel confident they can handle whatever situations arise.
