by Lauren Goodman | Mar 26, 2025 | Christian Counseling
What Parents Need to Know About Teens and Alcohol
Every parent worries about it—your teen says they’re going one place, but they actually go to at a party. And sometimes, you don’t find out what’s really going on until you get a call from the hospital saying your teen drank way too much and is receiving medical help. As a therapist for teens, I see a lot of kids dealing with alcohol-related problems. It’s important for parents to be aware of these issues. Here are some of the biggest ones:
1. Lying About Drinking
Most teens won’t tell you the full truth about their drinking. They might downplay it or leave out key details to avoid getting in trouble. They might not tell you they’ve been drinking at all.
2. Higher Risk of Sexual Assault
I’ve worked with countless teens who have been sexually assaulted, and alcohol is involved in almost every case. While most victims are female, it happens to males too. Drinking lowers their ability to recognize unsafe situations, making it easier for someone (usually drunk as well) to take advantage of them.
3. Teens Stealing Alcohol
Since teens can’t legally buy alcohol, they often steal it—usually from their parents’ liquor cabinet or fridge. Some even take it from stores.
4. Teen Driving Under the Influence of Alcohol
You’ve probably told your teen never to drink and drive. Maybe they promised to call you for a ride if they ever needed one. But in reality, teens often end up riding with someone who’s been drinking. Sometimes, they’re the one driving. Some even think it’s safe if the driver “only smoked weed.”
5. Trying Other Drugs
Alcohol lowers inhibitions, making it easier for teens to say yes to other substances. A few drinks in, and they may experiment with drugs they’d normally avoid.
6. Risky Sexual Choices
Not all situations are assault—sometimes, teens just make choices they wouldn’t if they were sober. Drinking makes them more likely to hook up with people they barely know, leading to regret later.
7. Bad Judgment About Safety
When drinking, teens may get into cars with strangers, go to unfamiliar places, or trust people they shouldn’t. When teens drink alcohol, their ability to assess risk is lowered.
8. Ignoring Serious Problems
This problem is one of the scariest of all the issues too much drinking causes. Teens tell me things like, “My friend was super wasted. She wasn’t moving much, but I took care of her. It was fine.” This is definitely not fine. This friend likely had alcohol poisoning, but no one wanted to call for help because they were afraid of getting in trouble. People may not have even realized there was a problem. Like I said, too much alcohol fogs judgement.
9. Fear of Getting in Trouble
Teens won’t always ask for help in dangerous situations because they’re scared of the consequences. They don’t want their parents, teachers, or coaches to find out they were drinking—even if they really need some help.
10. Fights and Aggression When Teens Have too Much Alcohol
Alcohol raises testosterone levels in males, making them more aggressive. Drunken fights happen way more often than you’d think, and they can lead to serious injuries—or worse.
How You Can Help as a Parent
Your teen may not tell you everything, but they’re always watching your actions. Set a good example with alcohol, talk to them openly, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries. If you know they’ve been partying and you need more advice, give me a call. They might roll their eyes or get angry, but they need your guidance.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Feb 12, 2025 | Christian Counseling
Dating for Christian Teens: A Real Talk About Relationships
Hey teens! If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance your parents asked you to check it out, thinking it applies to your situation. And honestly? They might be right—especially when it comes to dating for Christian teens. So let’s dive in!
Christian Teen Dating Today: Why It Feels So Messy
Dating in a world that’s all about “hooking up” can be super frustrating. I hear it all the time from teens. Some of you don’t want to make out with someone before you even go on a real date. You don’t think you need to be drunk to figure out if you like someone. And you’re tired of everyone having a “thing” or being “just talking” without any real commitment. Sound familiar?
What Does the Bible Say About Christian Teen Dating?
The Bible doesn’t lay out a step-by-step guide for modern dating, but it does talk about relationships, marriage, respect, and commitment. Some key stories give us a peek into love done right—and wrong:
Lust gone wrong – David and Bathsheba: 2 Samuel 11-12 (yeah, that was a mess)
Jealousy in relationships – Leah and Rachel with Jacob: Genesis 29:14-30:24
Dating with commitment in mind – Solomon and his beloved: Song of Solomon
The importance of family involvement – Isaac and Rebekah: Genesis 24
Keeping Your Christian Teen Dating Relationships Real and Faith-Centered
One thing that’s super clear? God doesn’t want you to date in secret. If you feel like you have to hide it from your parents or your church family, something’s off. Either you’re pushing boundaries you shouldn’t be, or the person you’re dating doesn’t share your faith. Your relationship with God should be consistent—whether you’re in church, with friends, or on a date.
Making Smart Choices No Matter Your Faith
Even if you’re not a Christian, you can still apply this to your own dating life. What you do in private and what you do in public should always line up. Also, your dating life should align with your morals and values no matter what. See? Even if you’re not a Christian, you can still use this!
Balancing Parental Expectations and Your Own Choices
I get that some of you have parents that make it hard to date. Some of you have super strict parents who don’t even let you think about dating. Others of you have parents who let you do whatever you want. Neither extreme is great—one can lead to sneaking around, and the other can leave you unprotected emotionally and physically. A healthy balance is preferable, but try to stay true to God and your faith no matter what—even if your parents make it tough sometimes.
Tips for Christian Teen Dating Without Losing Your Faith (or Your Mind!)
If you want to keep Jesus at the center of your dating life, here are a few things to keep in mind:
1. Date someone who is even more dedicated to Jesus than you are. This will help you grow and mature in your faith. Plus, you can go to church and serve the community together. This makes helping out more fun! Also, it makes dating more meaningful.
2. Know why you’re dating. If you already know you’re going separate ways after high school, keep things light and fun. Don’t get too serious if there’s no future in it. Besides, if you run into each other later on in life, this keeps getting back together and dating more seriously a possibility!
3.Keep your relationship out in the open. The more public and accountable you are, the less temptation you’ll face. Plus, it just makes things easier.
4. Be friends with everyone, but be selective about who you date. As Christians, we’re called to love and respect everyone, no matter their beliefs. But when it comes to dating, make sure the person shares your values. Your relationship with Jesus should never have to compete with your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Final Thoughts on Dating for Christian Teens
Dating as a Christian teen doesn’t have to be stressful or confusing. Keep your faith first, be real with the people who care about you, and set healthy boundaries. You got this!
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Feb 6, 2025 | Christian Counseling
Prevalence of Adolescent Pornography Use
Sadly, teen pornography use is prevalent, and finding help for adolescent pornography use is vital. According to internetsafety101.org, most pornography contains violence and bad language. Over half of teen boys aged 12 to 15 have viewed internet porn, and almost a third of girls in that age bracket have as well.
Desensitization to Pornography
What’s more disturbing: internetsafety101.org also reports that two thirds of young men and half of young women see viewing pornography as an acceptable thing to do. When people are consistently exposed to something, they start tolerating it even if they were once appalled by it. This is why many people don’t even realize help for adolescent pornography use is necessary. In the world of psychology, this is called desensitization.
What’s Wrong with Adolescent Pornography Use
For parents who are trying to preserve the sanctity of sex in a committed relationship and trying to teach these values to their children, adolescent pornography use is cause for concern. These videos teach your children the opposite of what you want them to think about intimacy, emotional connection, marriage, monogamy, and respecting women.
Signs of Adolescent Pornography Use
Here are some signs that your teen might be using the internet inappropriately:
- They consistently clear their browser history.
- They regularly close a tab on their phone whenever you walk into the room.
- They excessively masturbate.
- They won’t allow you to see what apps they keep on their phone.
- They close the door to their room whenever they’re on their computer, tablet or phone.
- They use terms you don’t think they should know when they discuss sex.
Just because these signs are present doesn’t mean your teenager is viewing pornography. However, it’s worth asking the question just in case you need to get help for your adolescent’s pornography use.
How to Help Your Teen If They’re Using Porn
What do you do if you find out your teenager is watching porn? How do you get help for your adolescent’s pornography use?
The Natural Response
Getting angry is a natural response. You probably feel betrayed by their lying and sneaking. It’s also scary to think about what harm they might have done to their relational development. However, this will not help stop your adolescent’s pornography use.
How You Should Respond
Instead of getting mad, try to focus on what you’re feeling underneath the anger. That’s what’s worth expressing to your child because those are the things that will make an emotional impact and help your adolescent with their pornography use. Yelling at them will just deepen the shame I can almost guarantee your teen is feeling.
Restrict Your Teen’s Internet Use
You will also need to place tight restrictions on their internet use and closely monitor their online activity. There is a natural high that occurs from viewing sexual content, making it very addicting. If your teen stops having access to porn, slowly they will stop craving it. Restricting internet use is a big help in stopping your adolescent’s pornography use.
Get Your Teen a Therapist
Oftentimes therapy or counseling is necessary if adolescent pornography use is frequent. Your teen may need to work with a therapist who has experience in treating porn addiction.
Why Therapists Can Help with Adolescent Pornography Use
Teens can feel a lot of embarrassment for this behavior. Consequently, they’re often reluctant to share how extensive their pornography use is. However, a good counselor for teens will know how to delicately maneuver through these emotions.
Finding Help for Adolescent Pornography Use
If you have more questions about the situation your teen is dealing with don’t hesitate to call. We can help you determine if therapy is necessary in this situation. We even offer teletherapy for California residents who live outside Orange County. Adolescent pornography use is heartbreaking; we’re here to help.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
