by Lauren Goodman | Nov 6, 2016 | Depression Therapy for Teens
Teens dealing with depression feel very alone.
Credit: Jeanne Claire Maarbes via freedigitalphotos.net
What does depression look like in teenagers?
It often shows up as irritability. Your once pleasant teen is now grumbling at you, constantly in a bad mood and very snappy. You’re probably thinking, ‘Wait, I thought that’s what teenagers were like anyhow!’ Well, sometimes. If they’re like this all the time though, they might be feeling depressed. Don’t get stuck on that thought though because there are a myriad of other reasons adolescents are endlessly irritable.
Adolescent depression can take the classic form. Adults who are depressed typically have sleep issues. They either sleep way too much or have perpetual insomnia. They also have food struggles. They might lack an appetite, and find that food has very little excitement and flavor. They also might eat excessively to try and comfort the unpleasant emotional state of depression. Emotions are always either negative or nonexistent. An adult with depression usually has a negative outlook on the future and on their own self. They tend not to have interest in activity either. Adolescent depression can look like this.
As a parent it feels really frustrating. If you have a depressed teenager, don’t you feel like grabbing them by the shoulders and giving them a good shake? Don’t you just want to yell at them to wake up and tell them to live again!?! Of course you don’t do this, but you probably don’t know what you should do. You’ve tried so many things. You’ve suggested they call a friend, join a club, or go out to have fun, but nothing seems to work. Either they won’t cooperate with you, or if they do they don’t seem to enjoy it. They tell you what used to be fun just isn’t anymore.
Adolescents with depression need the proper kind of help. Depending on how the depression symptoms are presenting a professional might recommend medication, cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, family therapy or a combination of things. It’s a complex problem. Your teenager isn’t choosing to be this way. They honestly can’t help it. I’m huge on taking personal responsibility for your attitude and behavior so I don’t say this lightly. There is a difference between a bad attitude and true depression. A professional therapist or psychiatrist can help you sort this out.
If your teen is dealing with depressed moods please get them an evaluation. One thing that comes with real depression is thoughts of suicide. This isn’t something to mess around with, and it’s not something to ignore. It has to be taken very seriously. If your teenager mentions feeling like they want to kill himself or herself, please get an appointment made as soon as possible. If your adolescent says they plan to go through with it then don’t wait for an appointment. You need to take an immediate trip to the emergency room. I know you feel funny doing this, but this is an honest to goodness emergency.
Adolescent depression is frustrating and heartbreaking for parents. It’s really difficult and sad for teenagers too. They usually need extra help to get through it, and you’ll appreciate having a sense of direction too.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Oct 10, 2016 | Depression Therapy for Teens
Doing well socially really helps teens enjoy school.
Credit: Ambro via freedigitalphotos.net
Some Australian researchers spent time combing carefully through studies detailing the effects of positive social interactions at work. They found overwhelming evidence that people’s health is better when they are socially successful at their jobs.
I got to thinking about the teenagers I work with in the counseling office. I wondered how this article relates to them. Might they be healthier overall if they are doing well socially? I then wondered whether they are more likely to succeed in school. I thought to myself they must certainly attend more school days than their peers who struggle socially. The kids who like to see their friends would be reluctant to miss a school day because they wouldn’t want to miss out on social interactions.
As I give my answer to this question, keep in mind I am not in a position to conduct a research study. I don’t have the time or the resources. I have a practice to run with three amazing therapists where we are blessed enough to help hurting teens and families. So, my observations on these ideas are solely based off the time I’ve spent doing counseling with adolescents for the past 9 years.
The teenagers I’ve worked with who are socially successful do enjoy school more. They don’t necessarily enjoy academics more than their peers. They aren’t more likely to study and don’t always earn higher grades. What they enjoy is actually being at school. They really like PE classes, lunch and passing periods. They like to socialize. They like group projects more than solo projects. They enjoy the school spirit activities. They attend dances, football games and play on sports teams. Overall they do seem happier.
I can’t really comment on whether these teenagers seem healthier. I know their psychological health tends to be better. They have a better support system when things go wrong. They have more encouraging people in their lives. They are affirmed just for being themselves on a regular basis. They get enough physical affection to feel loved. These things should contribute to more physical health, but I’ve never especially noticed one way or the other. One possibility for this is that as a whole adolescents don’t have a great number of health problems yet. Another possibility is that my main focus is on their mental health.
In any case, I wanted to share a little bit about the article because I thought it was really interesting. I also wanted to put down some thoughts on how this is relevant to you raising a teenager. One of the most important take-aways is to realize that your teenager’s ability to socialize well is as much (if not more) of an indicator of your child’s future happiness than their ability to do well academically.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
PS- Here is the link to the article: https://medlineplus.gov/news/fullstory_161331.html
by Lauren Goodman | Oct 6, 2016 | Depression Therapy for Teens
Teenage Depression often manifests as irritability.
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Major Depressive Disorder is much more serious than people realize. I often hear people come into my office complaining of “depression.” While they might have some symptoms of depression, it is less common to meet the full diagnosis.
One thing that confuses parents is that depression looks different in teenagers than in adults. It can still include all the classic symptoms such as a lot of crying, too much sleep or insomnia, not wanting to eat, less interest in activities, and a general feeling of hopelessness. However, there are other symptoms that also mark depression in teenagers, which are easy to miss. Teens do not necessarily have low energy. What they will show instead is a lot of irritability. The irritability will often be irrational. They can snap quickly. You might be thinking that teenagers can be moody anyhow. This is true. However, with depression, the moodiness is often coupled with hopelessness, a drop in grades, and social struggles.
If you notice your teen has become markedly more irritable, and it lasts for two weeks or more, it is time to have them evaluated. If your teen mentions wanting to die, or suicidal thoughts, do not wait two weeks for an evaluation. Get them help right away. While a lot of teenagers say these kinds of things to get attention, some of them are serious. It’s too risky to assume they don’t mean it. Please take suicidal statements seriously.
Depression can be mixed with anxiety too. Many teens feel more nervous when they are depressed. It makes sense. The depressed moods lead to being more easily upset. If things more easily upset your adolescent, then they are likely to be nervous about more situations.
What can you do to help? Firstly, sit down with your teenager and have a heart to heart. Find out if there is something bothering him or her that hasn’t been shared. Be prepared to hear something you won’t like. You might hear about a few mean kids at school, but you are just as likely to hear ways they are unhappy with you. The worst thing you can do is discount your teen’s emotions and experiences. Keep in mind that teenagers interpret situations differently than adults. They still live in a very self-focused world. If you’ve been more short-tempered than usual because of stress at the office, a teenager is likely to take it personally. Remind them gently that not everything is about them. Help them also remember that other kids at school have struggles, which can make them rude; it probably isn’t personal either.
Once you’ve had the heart to heart observe your teen for a couple days. If they don’t seem to feel any better, check in with them again. Offer to get them help. You’d be surprised at how many want to talk to someone, but are afraid to ask.
Things to take home from this blog post:
1. Depression is a difficult emotional disorder.
2. Depression is real in teenagers, and not necessarily made-up for attention.
3. Take any comments about suicide very seriously.
4. Try and address your teen’s emotions, but don’t hesitate to get them help if they need it.
5. Don’t assume you or your teenager is a failure if they experience depression.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
