by Lauren Goodman | Jun 27, 2026 | Depression Therapy for Teens
Why Do Teens Feel Left Out?
Few things are more painful for a parent than watching their teenager struggle to find their place. Many teens walk through the school day feeling invisible. They see other students laughing together, making plans, and forming close friendships while they wonder why they don’t seem to belong. If your teenager has ever come home feeling lonely or rejected, understanding why teens feel left out can help you support them more effectively.
During the first few weeks of school, I hear a lot of stories about teens feeling isolated. One teen told me she planned to spend lunch in the library because she had no one to sit with. Another shared that his “friends” never invite him to anything outside of school. A third explained that all the friend groups already seemed established, and she had no idea how to become part of one. In every case, their hearts were broken. They felt like they were looking through a window at everyone else’s happy lives while they stood alone on the outside. More than anything, they longed for just one person to show them the kindness, acceptance, and friendship they saw others receiving so effortlessly. So why do some teenagers seem to fit in with ease while others struggle despite trying so hard?
Charisma Is One Reason Why Teens Feel Left Out
Some people naturally have a great deal of charisma. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle, while others seem to have very little. These teens tend to struggle to find the right thing to say, unintentionally make conversations awkward, or seem uncomfortable in social situations. Teenagers often notice this quickly, which can unfortunately make it harder to build friendships.
Social Awareness Can Explain Why Teens Feel Left Out
Some teens have not yet developed strong social awareness. They may talk too loudly, stand too close to people, interrupt conversations, or struggle to recognize when it’s time to change the subject. Because teenagers tend to be highly aware of social cues, they often distance themselves from peers who have difficulty reading a room. The good news is that teens can learn social awareness over time.
Confidence Helps Teens Feel Included
Teenagers who walk with their heads up and make eye contact naturally project confidence. When they smile or wave at someone, people usually smile back. Those small positive interactions build connection over time. Compare that with the teen who walks through school looking down at the floor. They unintentionally miss many opportunities to connect with others simply because they never make eye contact. This is another common reason why teens feel left out.
Respect Helps Teens Gain Acceptance
Teenagers who know what they believe and are not constantly swayed by the opinions of others often earn the respect of their peers. Respect doesn’t guarantee popularity, but it frequently leads to greater acceptance. People are naturally drawn to those who are comfortable being themselves.
Going Where You’re Wanted Matters Most
This is probably the most important lesson I can offer. The most common reason why teens feel left out is that they are trying to break into a group that is leaving them out. The happiest teenagers don’t spend all of their energy trying to force themselves into cliquey groups that clearly don’t want them there. Instead, they invest in the friendships where people already welcome and appreciate them. That mindset often leads to happier, healthier relationships because it is rooted in contentment rather than constant striving for approval.
Helping Your Teen Find Their Place
If your teenager feels left out, remind them how many invitations they receive or how popular they are at school does not determine their worth. Friendships often change throughout adolescence, and many teens eventually find people who appreciate them for who they truly are. In addition, I have noticed that students who are still learning English often feel left out as well. Building friendships can be more challenging when communication doesn’t come easily. The same can be true for teens with learning differences or other challenges that make social interactions more difficult. If your teenager is feeling left out, encourage them to reach out to these students. They may discover someone who also wants a friend but simply hasn’t had many opportunities to connect. This gives them an incredible opportunity to be a blessing to another teen, and it can also help your teenager build meaningful, lasting friendships.
Encourage your teenager to continue developing confidence, kindness, and healthy social skills while investing in the people who genuinely enjoy being around them. One authentic friendship is far more valuable than trying to win the approval of a group that never truly accepts them.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Jun 9, 2026 | Depression Therapy for Teens
Understanding the Signs of Depression in Teens
Lately, I have been receiving a lot of calls from parents who are worried their teenager may be depressed. The truth is that depression can look very different from one teen to another, which can make it difficult to recognize. Knowing the signs of depression in teens can help you identify when your child may need additional support.
1. Irritability and Withdrawal
One sign of depression in teens is irritability. Your teenager may have previously enjoyed spending time with family but now prefers to stay isolated in their room. If you ask them to come out and spend time together, they respond with frustration or annoyance. While some desire for privacy is normal during adolescence, a sudden and significant change in behavior can be cause for concern.
2. Changes in Sleep
Another common sign of depression in teens is a change in sleeping habits. Some depressed teens sleep excessively. They sleep through the night and still take long naps during the day. Other teens experience the opposite problem and struggle with insomnia or frequent waking during the night. If your teenager’s sleep patterns have changed dramatically, it is worth paying attention to what else may be going on emotionally.
3. Social Isolation and Loss of Interest
You may also notice your teenager becoming less social. Perhaps your child used to spend a lot of time with friends, text constantly, or look forward to social activities. Now they may seem disconnected from their peers and no longer interested in spending time with others.
Some teenagers begin expressing feelings that they do not fit in anywhere. Others become cynical and start saying that everyone is shallow, annoying, or difficult to relate to. When teens pull away from relationships and lose interest in activities they once enjoyed, it can be one of the signs of depression in teens.
4. Suicidal Thoughts
One of the most serious signs of depression in teens is talking about suicide. If your teenager is texting friends about suicide, writing about it in a journal, posting about it online, or discussing it openly, it should always be taken seriously.
It can be tempting to assume these comments are simply attention-seeking. Even if attention is part of the motivation, talking about suicide is not a healthy way to seek attention and should never be ignored. If your teenager is expressing suicidal thoughts, they need a professional evaluation as soon as possible.
When the Signs of Depression in Teens Warrant Seeking Help
Depression can leave teenagers feeling hopeless, isolated, and overwhelmed. The good news is that help is available. If you suspect your teenager may be struggling with depression, reach out for support. A mental health professional can help determine whether your child is experiencing clinical depression and what type of treatment may be most helpful. The earlier depression is recognized, the sooner your teenager can begin feeling better.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Jun 9, 2026 | Depression Therapy for Teens
Why Do Teens Need Enough Sleep?
Teenagers need approximately 9.5 hours of sleep each night, which surprises many parents. Even though teens may look like young adults, their brains are still developing and have a lot of growing left to do. This is one of the biggest reasons why teens need enough sleep. Unfortunately, most teenagers get closer to 6 hours of sleep on school nights. They are juggling homework, sports, extracurricular activities, and social media. There is so much pressure to succeed academically, athletically, socially, and still be a responsible kid at home. As a result, sleep is often the first thing they sacrifice. However, that’s a mistake. Sleep plays a major role in a teenager’s emotional health, academic performance, and overall well-being.
10 Reasons Why Teens Need Enough Sleep
1. It helps them concentrate in school.
2. It keeps their moods more even.
3. Sleep helps keep the immune system strong.
4. They have more energy.
5. It reduces symptoms of anxiety and depression.
6. Teens who are sleep-deprived eat more junk food.
7. Well-rested teens tend to have better judgement.
8. Getting enough sleep can help improve your teen’s memory.
9. Teens who get enough sleep are more social.
10. Teens who sleep enough are more respectful.
Making Sleep a Family Priority
The health benefits of sleep cannot be overstated. Sleep is essential for both their physical and emotional well-being. As a parent, you probably spend a lot of time encouraging your teenager to complete homework, practice good hygiene, and stay on top of chores. Sleep should be an even higher priority than all of those things. As a therapist who works with adolescents, one of the first things I assess during an initial counseling session is how much sleep a teenager is getting. Simply getting enough sleep can significantly improve their mood, stress level, focus, and overall mental health.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | May 20, 2026 | Depression Therapy for Teens
Why Graditude is Important
Teaching teens to be grateful is incredibly important. Without gratitude, it’s easy for teenagers to spend all their time focusing on what they do not have instead of appreciating what they do have. Gratitude is one of the best ways to improve happiness, relationships, and overall enjoyment of life. Teenagers who learn how to be grateful often feel more content, more confident, and more connected to the people around them.
Teaching Teens to Be Grateful Through Responsibility
One of the best ways of teaching teens to be grateful is teaching them how to work for the things they want. Teenagers who understand that work leads to rewards usually develop much higher self-esteem. It’s completely natural to want to make life easier for your children by giving them the things you had to fight for. However, giving teenagers everything they want can sometimes have the opposite effect.
Teens who contribute toward the things they receive often appreciate them much more. For example, a teenager who helps pay part of their phone bill or earns gas money by helping around the house usually feels proud of what they earned. Instead of assuming their parents owe them something just because their friends have it, they become far more thankful when they are given things.
Modeling Gratitude for Your Teenager
Concepts are often caught more than they are taught. If you want to teach your teen to be grateful, they need to see it modeled by you. Examine yourself honestly. Do you complain about your circumstances? If so, your teenager will likely begin (or is already) doing the same thing. On the other hand, if you regularly point out the blessings in your life, your child learns to focus on gratitude instead of negativity.
For example, if money is tight, you can either focus on everything you do not have or focus on being thankful for what you do have while still working toward a better future. Your attitude has a powerful impact on the way your teenager views life.
Teaching Teens to Be Grateful Instead of Comparing
Comparison is one of the quickest ways to become unhappy. No matter who you are, someone will always seem to have more, do more, or look better. Teenagers especially struggle with comparison because of social media and peer pressure.
Teaching teens to be grateful helps them stop focusing so much on what other people have. Gratitude allows teenagers to enjoy their own lives instead of constantly measuring themselves against others. This does not mean teens should stop working toward goals or improving themselves. It simply means they can learn to feel content while still growing.
Final Thoughts on Teaching Teens to Be Grateful
My hope is that you help your teenager develop a thankful attitude throughout life. Gratitude does not mean pretending difficult things are good. It means learning to recognize that even during hard seasons, there are still blessings worth noticing. Teenagers who learn gratitude often become happier, more resilient, and more emotionally healthy adults.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Apr 9, 2026 | Depression Therapy for Teens
Without meaning to, we’ve let our kids fill their minds with intellectual junk food. We’re taught to be careful about what we eat so our bodies stay healthy, but we don’t always think about what we’re feeding our minds. However, how media affects teens (or really anyone) is more important than we tend to realize. Many teens spend the majority of their free time on social media, TV, and whatever they find online.
Adolescence is a stage where teens are heavily influenced by what they read, hear, and see. As parents, it’s our job to guide them toward things that will actually help them grow. This includes everything from TV shows to online content.
You can’t control everything your teen sees, but you can set limits. That might mean not allowing shows with nudity, sexual content, heavy cursing, or drug use—whatever doesn’t match your values. These things are so common now that we’ve become used to them. But that doesn’t mean they’re harmless.
What’s Become “Normal”
For example, I was watching sports a while back and a bra and underwear commercial came on. Years ago, something like that would have actually been considered pornographic. Now, it feels completely normal because we see it so often—even during sports programs families watch together. It’s important to stop and think about whether you’re okay with your teen seeing that kind of content.
So what should your teen be watching or listening to? The answer depends on your values.
In our home we follow the Christian faith, so our kids spend some of their time using apps and content that help them grow in their faith. In my cousin’s family, education and culture were really important. My aunt showed movies to my cousin from different countries to help him learn about other ways of life. These weren’t boring documentaries—just meaningful stories from different perspectives. That intentional choice made a big difference as he grew up.
There also needs to be some kind of limit on social media. How you handle it is up to you. You might limit screen time, or encourage your teen to follow and interact with positive role models in addition to friends.
One good thing about social media is that teens can actually interact with people they look up to. That can be powerful when used the right way.
Setting a Good Example
The last thing to think about is your own habits. When considering how media affects teens, you also need to think about how it affects you. What are you watching? How are you spending your free time? If your teen sees you constantly watching low-quality shows or scrolling instead of doing something meaningful, that sends a message.
If you realize you’re not feeding your own mind well, try making small changes. It’s not always easy, but the example you set can have a huge impact on your kids.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Dec 31, 2025 | Depression Therapy for Teens
Understanding Teen Self-Harm
Parents often find self-injury very hard to understand. It can be confusing and scary to think about how physical pain could feel like relief from emotional pain. Still, understanding why teens self-harm is an important first step toward helping them.
Why Teens Self-Harm
There are usually two reasons why teens harm themselves. One is a cry for attention. The other is to feel more in control. Both are dangerous and need to be addressed.
1. They Want Their Pain to Be Noticed
One reason teens self-harm is to be noticed. These teens are hurting on the inside but don’t know how to explain their pain with words. Cutting can become a way to show how bad they feel.
These teens usually cut on visible areas, like their arms, and continue wearing short sleeves. They wait to see how long it takes for a parent to notice or say something. This is serious and needs professional support. This means the teen struggles to communicate emotions in healthy, safe ways.
2. They Want to Feel Like They Can Control Their Pain
Another reason why teens harm themselves has to do with control. Some teens feel overwhelmed by intense emotions that seem to come out of nowhere. Their emotional pain feels unmanageable.
When a teen self-harms, they control when it happens, how long it lasts, and how visible it is. For teens who feel powerless over their emotions, this sense of control can feel calming. These teens usually try to hide their wounds and may cut in areas that are harder to see. Self-harm becomes their main coping tool, and they may resist stopping because they don’t trust that anyone can help them through the pain. In these cases, professional help is essential.
Risks of Teen Self-Harm
If you suspect your teen is self-harming, it’s important to act quickly. This behavior is a clear sign that your child is in deep emotional distress. Trying to handle it alone or hoping it will stop on its own can be dangerous.
Self-harm carries real medical risks, including infection or accidental serious injury. If teens use unclean tools to cut with or don’t properly care for their wounds, the cuts may become infected. In addition to this, even when a teen is not trying to end their life, if they cut too deeply they may sever an artery. Even if this does not happen, self-harm tells us that your teen is hurting and doesn’t yet have safe ways to cope.
What to Do if Your Teen Self-Harms
Your teen needs your love, support, and compassion—but they also need guidance from a trained professional. This is not an issue to be taken lightly. If you think your teen has self-harmed, please reach out. Helping them learn healthier ways to manage pain can make a life-changing difference.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
