Drama from social media is now part of adolescence. Photo credit: Stoonn and freedigitalphotos.net
The Challenges of Teen Social Media Use
Do you ever feel like social media is making your teen more upset than happy? Maybe you’ve thought about taking it away completely. Or maybe you’re just frustrated by how much time they spend scrolling. Teen social media use is tough to manage. We can’t follow the example our parents set for managing our own social media use because social media didn’t exist yet. So, how do you handle your teen’s social media use?
Downsides of Teen Social Media Use
Many of my clients take social media posts personally—even when the person who posted the message didn’t mean it that way. They stress over how fast someone responds, who liked their post, or if a friend’s comment has some hidden meaning. Teens can dissolve into tears over a post because they misunderstood what it meant.
Teaching Healthy Social Media Habits
Just taking social media away probably won’t work. Instead, we have to teach our kids how to manage what they post, how much time they spend on it, and how to handle what others say online. Below, you’ll find three important things to teach your teen about social media.
Encourage Responsible Posting
It’s important to teach your teen how to post responsibly. Instead of just giving a lecture, work with them. They might not love it, but that’s okay—you’re the parent! There are plenty of things we have to do for our kids that they don’t appreciate at the time, but later, they’re thankful. When they apply for a job one day, they’ll be relieved they never posted something that could cause a business to refuse to give them a job.
Dangers of Passive Aggressive Posting
Also, help them understand the dangers of being passive-aggressive online. A lot of teens post general comments that are clearly aimed at one person. This leads to drama, arguments, and hurt feelings.
Handling Social Media Conflict
What if your teen is on the receiving end of social media drama? The best approach is to confront the person directly (and privately) in person. Texting confrontations rarely go well—the teens who receive those messages often screenshot and share them. A face-to-face conversation makes it more likely that the other person will understand your teen isn’t being hostile. Plus, they can pick up on tone and facial expressions, which makes a huge difference.
Using Social Media To Help Your Teen Grow
Social media has its positives and negatives. It helps teens stay connected and keep up with old friends. But it’s important to remember that social media is a highlight reel—it doesn’t show what’s really going on in someone’s life. Many teens take posts at face value and end up feeling left out or hurt. Others use it as a tool for bullying or passive-aggressive behavior. That’s why it’s so important to stay involved in your teen’s social media use. By guiding your teen, you can help them develop good social media habits. Teaching your teen to use social media well is something that will benefit them for years to come.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
OCD is extremely frustrating for teens. Credit: Jeanne Claire Maarbes via freedigitalphotos.net
Questions People Have About OCD in Teens
OCD in teens can be exhausting and overwhelming. It’s heartbreaking to watch your teen struggle with obsessive thoughts and feel trapped in rituals they can’t control. You want to help, but you might not know how. In this post, I’ll answer some of the most common questions about OCD. Whether you’re a parent watching your teen struggle or a teen dealing with OCD yourself, this post is for you.
What Does OCD Mean?
OCD stands for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. It causes overwhelming anxiety, usually about things that aren’t likely to happen. To get rid of the anxiety, a person feels like they have to do certain rituals—like washing their hands over and over, checking things repeatedly, or arranging items a certain way. The problem is, the relief doesn’t last, and the cycle starts again.
What Are Some Common OCD Behaviors?
OCD can look different for everyone, but here are some common patterns:
Fear of contamination – Feeling gross after touching something (usually a specific object) and needing to wash over and over.
Need for symmetry – Feeling anxious if things aren’t lined up just right.
Intrusive thoughts – Scary or upsetting thoughts that won’t go away, like imagining a house fire and needing to check the stove multiple times.
Compulsive checking – Repeatedly making sure doors are locked, the oven is off, or homework is just right before turning it in.
If your teen seems trapped in a pattern of obsessive thoughts and compulsions, they may be dealing with OCD.
How Do You Manage OCD in Teens?
The good news? OCD is treatable. The best approach includes therapy, and in some cases, medication. Here’s what treatment usually looks like:
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP): This therapy helps teens face their fears step by step without doing the compulsions. For example, if a teen has contamination OCD, they might practice touching something “dirty” without washing their hands right away. Over time, their anxiety lessens.
Medication: Some teens benefit from medication, but not all need it. A psychiatrist can help determine if it’s a good option.
Supporting Your Teen
Living with OCD can be tough, making school, friendships, and everyday life feel overwhelming. But with the right help, teens can learn to manage their OCD and feel more in control. If your teen is struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Help is available, and they don’t have to face this alone.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Feeling panicked is the worst. Your stomach clenches, you gasp for breath, your thoughts are racing, you have a tight feeling in your chest and throat, and it feels like you’re drowning. Sometimes anxiety hits before a big test or a speech, but for some people, it’s always there. If your teen constantly seems stressed, panicky, or overwhelmed, it can be heartbreaking to watch—especially when you don’t know how to help. How do you help your teen when their panic makes them unreachable? In this post, you’ll find 5 tips for managing anxiety in teens.
5 Tips for Managing Anxiety in Teens
These tips won’t completely erase anxiety (and they shouldn’t—some anxiety is actually helpful for motivation and alerting a person to a potential problem), but they can bring it down to a manageable level. The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety altogether; it’s to make sure it doesn’t take over.
1. Practice Mindfulness
Being mindful just means paying attention to the present moment. Notice the sights, sounds, and feelings around you. Encourage your teen to focus on small details—like how the sun feels on their skin or the sound of birds outside. This can help pull them out of their anxious thoughts, even if just for a moment. This is a useful step when managing anxiety in teens.
2. Challenge Negative Thoughts
Anxiety often makes us imagine the worst-case scenario. Your teen might assume they’ll fail a test, but if they’ve been paying attention in class and studying, that’s probably not true. Teach them to check the facts and remind themselves of the truth.
3. Exercise
Exercise is a natural stress reliever. When we move our bodies, our brains release chemicals that help us feel calm. Whether it’s a walk, a sport, or dancing in their room, encourage your teen to get activity to help manage their anxiety.
4. Find a Distraction
Focusing on something engaging—like playing an instrument, reading, or talking to a friend—can give their brain a break from anxious thoughts. Sometimes, just shifting their focus for a while can make a big difference.
5. Focus on What They Can Control
A lot of anxiety comes from worrying about things we can’t change. Help your teen recognize what’s in their control and what’s not. If they have a big test, they can study (that’s in their control), but stressing over the grade afterward won’t change the outcome. Letting go of what they can’t control is a huge step in managing anxiety in teens.
Supporting Your Teen Through Anxiety
Anxiety can be frustrating and exhausting, both for teens and for parents. The best thing you can do is show empathy, remind them of these strategies, and encourage them to keep practicing. It might take time, but with support, they can learn to manage their anxiety in a healthy way.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Some teens socially isolate because they feel so awkward they just want to hide. Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Teen Social Anxiety: Why Your Teen Avoids Socializing (And What to Do About It)
If your teenager refuses to hang out with their peers, it’s important to figure out why. Some teens want to be social but are terrified of making a mistake. Others struggle with intense self-consciousness and teen social anxiety. Some are dealing with depression and don’t have the energy to connect. Others are so caught up in their online world that they don’t seem to care about real-life interactions. There could be countless reasons why your teen isn’t socializing, so let’s take a look at a few of them.
The Teen Who Wants Friends But Has Too Much Social Anxiety
Many teens crave friendships but don’t know how to make them happen. If your teen has extreme social anxiety, they might freeze in conversations. They fear sounding ridiculous, so their mind goes blank, leaving them feeling awkward. At home, they might be chatty, but around peers, they barely speak. It’s frustrating, but they need support to build confidence.
The Teen Who’s Stuck in Their Own Head
Some teens constantly worry about being judged. They talk to friends but overanalyze everything they say. They wonder things like, “do they think I sound weird?” or “are they noticing my acne?” In reality, the other person is likely too busy worrying about themselves to judge your teen. That’s the tough thing about being a teenager: you’re usually VERY self-conscious.
Teen Social Anxiety and Depression: The Teen Who’s Too Depressed for Friends
Some teens feel too depressed to socialize even though they know it might help. Depression is real, and if you’ve never experienced it, understanding it can be difficult. When someone is depressed, even small tasks feel overwhelming. Avoiding friends makes things worse, but they can’t help it. They need patience, support, and sometimes professional help.
The Teen Who’s Glued to Their Screen
Many teens prefer online interactions over face-to-face ones. Gaming, social media, and YouTube can be addictive. It’s tough to break the cycle because your teen insists they’re fine. While online connections can be fun, they don’t replace real-life social skills. Setting screen time limits, encouraging offline hobbies, and planning family activities can help them slowly transition back to real-world interactions. They may resist at first, but over time, they often find that face-to-face connections make them feel more fulfilled and confident.
What to Do About Teen Social Anxiety
When teens avoid social interaction, things only get worse. The good news? Teens can learn social skills, confidence can grow, and emotional well-being can improve with support. In addition to this, therapy can help socially anxious teens work through fears and build skills. Give me a call, and I’d be happy to help your teen work through their social anxiety. Once they start socializing, they often realize it’s not as scary as they thought.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Down time makes stronger families and happier teens. Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
What Keeping Your Teen Too Busy Looks Like
Here in Orange County, keeping your teen too busy is normal. Most families have their adolescents enrolled in multiple extra-curricular activities, playing sports constantly, and more. On top of all this, your child has school, homework, and hangs out with friends. While this is normal, it’s not necessarily a good thing.
What’s Wrong with Keeping Your Teenager Too Busy
While some kids thrive on this, for most it adds a lot of stress. Even though most of the activities your adolescent participates in are fun (except school), too much is still stressful. You must teach your teen that saying no, even to fun things, is important for mental health. Children (and adults) need down time.
How to Lower Your Teen’s Stress
If you’d like to see your child feel less stressed and have less anxiety, try taking one day a week and resting. Turn off the electronics, don’t go anywhere with a schedule, and slow down. Eventually your teen will learn how to rest, a skill that will remain invaluable for the rest of their life.
How Your Teen Might Resist Resting at First
At first, your adolescent will probably resist resting. They might say, “I can’t have my phone off because someone might text me about homework.” This is just one of many excuses your teen might make. Don’t buy into that. Keeping your teen too busy is bad; they need to rest! After a while, your kid will be grateful for the reduced activity.
Set A Good Example
This starts with you. You have to start saying no to activities (even fun ones) and stop using electronics all the time. Teens are starting to formulate their own values and opinions, but they’re still heavily influenced by you. I know this is hard. It’s hard for me too, but you can do it!
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Panic in teens can lead to debilitating agoraphobia. Photo Credit: freedigitalphotos.net/stuart miles
What Agoraphobia Does to Teens
It’s heart-breaking to watch your teen go through agoraphobia. Teens who have agoraphobia are afraid of doing anything new or leaving a comfortable place. The pain they are in is almost indescribable. They are fearful of going to do things they once enjoyed, like extra-curricular activities. Their world is rapidly shrinking around them as they become increasingly panicky at the thought of leaving home.
What is Agoraphobia?
Agoraphobia technically means fear of the marketplace. Agoraphobic teens fear leaving a comfortable place or entering unfamiliar surroundings. Agoraphobia can manifest itself as fear of having a panic attack in public, anxiety over being unable to escape a crowded place, or other similar fears.
Panic Attacks
Agoraphobia is usually accompanied by panic attacks. Panic attacks are so unpleasant that many believe they are having a heart attack. In fact, thousands of people go to the hospital each year believing they are having heart troubles when they are actually having a panic attack.
The Results of Agoraphobia in Teens
If your teen has agoraphobia, they will be increasingly unwilling to leave their comfort zone because they are afraid of having a panic attack, getting stuck in a crowd, etc. Your teen will only go to certain places with certain people or even stop leaving the home entirely. Eventually, they may even ask you about homeschooling or cancelling some of their activities. They will likely become depressed because they are too anxious to do many of the things they used to do.
Treating Teens with Agoraphobia
Agoraphobia does horrible things to teens. Therefore, it is vital to get help for them. To do this, you must get a therapist who is willing to do online sessions and is used to treating anxiety in teens. Why online sessions? Because an agoraphobic teen is usually too nervous to go into the therapy office at first. Online sessions allow the teen to work up to going to in-person sessions.
Why do Online Sessions Help Teens with Agoraphobia?
Teenagers with agoraphobia are often anxious about coming into an office for an in-person session (though if they are willing to, that’s great! That means they aren’t afraid of all new situations). Teletherapy (online sessions) allows them to talk with a therapist without leaving their home. Also, teens with agoraphobia can be exposed to their fears from a comfortable base when they stay at home and do online sessions. Through online sessions, the teen can work towards coming to the office.
Defeating Agoraphobia in Teens
Agoraphobia makes it impossible for teens to enjoy life. It makes them afraid to go do activities they love doing, and they sometimes even are unwilling to go to friend’s houses, instead preferring their friends to come to them. However, with treatment agoraphobia can be brought to an end. Give me a call and we’ll talk about ways to defeat agoraphobia in your teen and help them enjoy life again.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Hello, I’m Lauren! If you notice your teen struggling, you might be feeling helpless, hopeless, frustrated or concerned as a parent. Try to remember, there is hope. I want to help your adolescent feel better. My hope is for them to enjoy their life again. I want them to feel confident they can handle whatever situations arise.
