Finding Hope as a Hurting Parent
We have so much to be grateful for. It is incredible that we live in a country with so much freedom. God has truly blessed each of us in ways we often take for granted every single day. Even having clean water and enough food to eat is not a given in many parts of the world. If you’re struggling with your child, taking time to recognize these blessings can help bring a little perspective during difficult seasons and offer hope for a hurting parent.
Counting Your Blessings
The reason I remind you of this is because if you’re reading my blog, you’re probably hurting. Your teenager may be behaving in a way that scares you. You may be feeling overwhelmed as a parent and unsure of what to do to help your child. That can be one of the most helpless feelings in the world.
It does us a lot of good to count our blessings, especially when it comes to our teenagers. I realize things may be tough right now, but there are likely a lot of things going right too. It is very easy to become completely focused on solving one problem. When that happens, we can lose sight of all the things that are not problems.
Keeping Things in Perspective
For example, I have several clients who struggle with body image. Their focus on their appearance can become so intense that it dominates much of their lives. This is difficult for parents, who worry about whether their child is eating enough, exercising too much, or simply hating the way they look.
Many of these parents have found it helpful to refocus on what is going right with their child. In some cases, these teens still maintain good grades, avoid drugs and alcohol, and remain loving and engaged with their families. These parents work hard to keep perspective and remember that while there is a problem, there is also a lot going well. This is one of the best ways you can find hope as a hurting parent.
That is often how life works. Problems and blessings often exist side by side. We should not ignore the problems, but we should not ignore the blessings either. In fact, if you think back over your life, you can probably identify very few times when everything was completely good or completely bad.
Remember to Tell Them What’s Right
Raising kids requires maintaining the perspective that things could always be better and always be worse. Tell your teenager often what you appreciate about them. Help them improve where they need to grow, but don’t make that the only thing you talk about. If every conversation focuses on what needs fixing, it can come across as criticism. You want your child to know all the reasons you think they are wonderful too.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,