Everyone looks different, and we can celebrate that.
Credit: free-images.com
It’s hard to love yourself. Teens, it’s really hard not to pick out whatever flaw is bothering you and get stuck there. There’s always something that could be better. But also, there are always ten things that could be worse. No matter what you look like, it’s time for all of us as a culture to fight back against this need for perfection.
I’m going to fight back first. I’m going to write out right here the things about my body that I wish were different. Then I’m going to tell you why I’m thankful for these flaws. I wish my skin tone was even. I wish I didn’t have patches of dry skin. I wish my teeth were whiter. I wish I didn’t have cellulite. As someone in recovery from eating disorder, I can tell you I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time concerned with the cellulite.
Why am I thankful for all these flaws? They keep me humble. If I looked perfect I’m sure I’d have way too much pride (not the good kind). My flaws help me be less judgmental. I’m not perfect in this area, but I can tell you that I appreciate people’s uniqueness more because I have imperfections. My flaws remind me that I’m human. I’m glad to be part of this messy, everyone looks different human race. We are so beautifully created. If we didn’t have “flaws” then we would look like Stepford Wives or robots.
My flaws remind me that God’s ways are higher than mine. There’s a verse in the Bible that I LOVE. It goes like this: “Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,” Romans 12:2. My flaws remind me that what I perceive as “imperfect” is really just a “pattern of this world.” This world wants to tear you down because you have acne, or a crooked nose, or pale skin, or whatever else the media tells us is unattractive. The truth is though, God looks at your heart and your mind. He wants us to look at those things too. The packaging is so much less important. Even despite that, God made the packaging just the way He thought best for each one of us.
I know that if God gave me a “perfect” package according to the world’s standards, then I wouldn’t have ever learned to be concerned with my mind or my heart. Now those are the things I focus on. In the end I can tell you my “flaws” aren’t flaws at all, they are blessings that have slowly led me to maturity.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
