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Show Your Pride
How often are you telling your adolescent you’re proud of them? Even when they’re acting out, there’s something to be proud of—some reason you’re thankful this child is yours. In this post we’ll explore positive parenting for teens and how to compliment them without being overly flattering.
Teens Still Care What You Think
Your teen needs to hear that you approve of them. Even if they act like your opinion doesn’t matter to them, it does. That’s often what arguments are really about—they want you to see and validate their perspective.
Positive Parenting for Teens By Avoiding Comparison with Others
Try not to compare your teen to other teenagers. Instead, compare them to their past self. It’s great to point out how they’ve grown. However, avoid backhanded compliments like, “Even though you have a long way to go, you’re better at math than last year.” That opening just undercuts the praise. Instead say something like, “I’m so proud of you! You’ve really come a long way in math.”
Be Honest But Encouraging
You don’t have to fake approval. You don’t have to say to say you like your teen’s drug-using boyfriend. But you can be honest and positive—tell your daughter she looks nice if she’s dressed well or praise her for keeping her room clean.
Positive Parenting for Teens By Looking for the Good
It’s easy to get stuck on the things that need improvement, but teens thrive on encouragement. They’re still developing, still learning how to act maturely and take responsibility. Many were literal children just a few years ago. Their frustration tolerance is low, and they often quit when they feel overwhelmed.
Avoid Flattery
You don’t have to constantly compliment your teen—it can feel smothering. Just avoid being negative. If your teen is struggling or making poor choices, talk with them kindly but firmly. Give appropriate consequences if they continue to disobey you. Never affirm bad decisions. They need honesty and support more than flattery.
Positive Parenting for Teens: Reinforce What’s Going Well
Be patient. Look for small wins and praise them for it. Try to avoid nitpicking, and make an effort to notice and acknowledge what your teen is doing well in a balanced, supportive way. When you highlight what your teen is doing right, you’re likely to see more of it.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
