Teens, it’s so hard when you feel let down. This is particularly true if you’ve worked at something for a long time and it didn’t pan out. One of our family friends has a daughter who is a senior in high school. She’s worked her whole high school career with her eyes set on UC Berkeley. She didn’t get in. She can’t seem to cope with the disappointment. She is blaming everyone else. She is stomping around mad. She is especially picking at her dad. She’s so upset over this disappointment that she isn’t grateful for what she does have. She has been accepted to some incredible schools, and will likely attend UC San Diego, but she can’t see that for the blessing it is.
When something happens to you, do you handle it better than she has? Her problem is that she thinks this result defines her value. Newsflash: It doesn’t! And whether or not you made a certain team, got a particular prom date, or were mentioned in a certain social media post doesn’t define your value either.
Here are some quick thoughts on recovering from a disappointment.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT