What Parents Need to Know
Discovering that your teenager is hurting themself can be frightening and overwhelming. One of the first questions parents ask is, “Why is this happening?” Understanding self-harm in teens is an important first step toward getting your child the help they need.
Why Self-Harm in Teens Occurs
Many teenagers who experiment with self-injury first hear about it from friends or social media. Some try it in an attempt to cope with emotional pain, find it does not work, and do not continue. Others, however, engage in self-harm more frequently or severely, which is cause for significant concern. When this occurs, a comprehensive mental health evaluation is essential. Although some teens may hope that self-injury will communicate their distress or bring needed attention and support, ongoing self-harm is always a sign that something is wrong and should be taken seriously. Professional help, including a psychiatric evaluation when appropriate, is an important part of treatment.
What Self-Harm in Teens Can Tell Us
Teens who self-harm may injure themselves in different areas of the body. Sometimes they choose locations that they can easily conceal, while others may be more visible. The most common area is on the forearm of the teen’s non-dominant arm. The teens who cut here often want you to discover that they are cutting. This is a cry for help, but the teen cutting does not know how to express their emotions in a healthy way.
Other common areas include the inner thighs and stomach. Teens who cut in these areas are often trying to avoid detection because they do not want anyone to stop them. Still, while the location can offer clues about why a teen is cutting, it is important to remember that self-harm is a serious concern no matter where it occurs.
Self-Harm in Teens as a Coping Skill
There is no single explanation for why teens self-harm. One helpful way to understand the behavior is to view it as an attempt to cope with overwhelming emotional pain. A teenager may feel powerless in the face of a difficult situation—such as family conflict, grief, or another major stressor—and self-injury can create a temporary sense of control. Unlike emotional pain, which may feel unpredictable, self-harm can seem manageable and immediate. Although it may provide brief relief, it does not address the underlying struggle and is not a healthy way to cope with pain.
Steps to Take if Your Teen Is Self-Harming
The most important message for parents is that self-harm in teens should always be taken seriously. Because self-injury often occurs alongside suicidal thoughts, it is vital to seek help immediately from a therapist, pediatrician, school counselor, or psychiatrist. You should not navigate this alone.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is one evidence-based approach commonly used to help teens who self-harm. It teaches skills for managing difficult emotions, tolerating distress, and developing healthier coping strategies.
A Final Word for Parents
If you have discovered that your teenager is self-harming, please know that your fear and heartbreak are understandable. Lean on a few trusted people for support, and resist the urge to blame yourself. Instead, direct your energy toward helping your child access the care they need. With compassionate support and effective treatment, healing is possible for both teens and their families.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,