What to Do If Your Teen is Having Suicidal Thoughts
As a parent, if your teen is having suicidal thoughts you are going through one of the scariest things imaginable. Some people overlook or discount it when teens express that they are having thoughts like these because they don’t want to believe their teens are suicidal. Some teens say things like that for attention, but many of them are serious. Because of that, it’s too dangerous to assume teens are seeking attention when they threaten suicide. It is best to take these threats very seriously and then take the correct steps to deal with the crisis.
Questions to Ask Your Teen
If your teen says they’re having suicidal thoughts or are feeling suicidal, you need to immediately ask them a few questions. Here are the things you need to ask them:
- How long have you felt like this?
- Can you identify why you feel this way? Has something bad happened lately?
- Do you have a plan for how you’d take your life?
- Do you intend to go through with it?
- Have you ever tried it before?
What to Do If Your Teen Intends to Go Through With it
If the answer to question #4 is yes, you need to take immediate action. Many parents struggle with this because they have to take decisive action when they want to panic. You need to stop whatever you are doing and drive your teen straight to the emergency room. This is considered an emergent issue.
Why Doing this May Feel Weird to You
You will feel strange about doing so because you don’t see your teen bleeding, vomiting, etc., and it seems like people should appear physically ill to go to the emergency room. However, the staff at the ER will not think it is odd that you’ve brought your teen. In fact, they will see it as appropriate. Don’t hem and haw if your child intends to harm themself. Sometimes even spending a few days in a hospital can really change your teen’s outlook.
How to Act if They Don’t Intend to Go Through with Suicide
If the answers to 2, 3 and/or 5 are yes, but 4 is no, you need to call for a counseling appointment right away. For as long as your teen is having suicidal thoughts, they should receive help from a therapist. Also, ask your teen daily whether they’ve changed their mind and intend to go through with suicide so you know whether or not to go to the ER. Help your teenager create a plan in case their mood deteriorates further. Sit down with your teen and work with them to write out a list of names and phone numbers to call when they are feeling particularly awful. Tell them if it becomes really serious, they need to call 9-1-1.
Removing Dangerous Objects
On your part, make sure your teenager does not have access to lethal items. Remember when your child was two and you were very careful to keep poisons locked up and knives out of reach? It’s a lot like that. If you have a gun, keep it locked in the safe and change the code in case your teenager knows the code. Go through the medicine cabinets and remove pills that are dangerous if taken in great quantities. Remove your knives and other sharp objects from the home. I know this is a huge hassle, but it is an important precaution. Think of other potentially dangerous objects and keep them from your teen too. You want to make it very inconvenient for your teen to try harming him or herself because it buys time if they are in trouble.
How to Respond if Your Teen is Having Suicidal Thoughts
Please take it very seriously if your teen threatens suicide. It is not the time to react in anger toward your teen. Your anger is likely stemming from fear. It is time to take charge and quickly take action. You can express anger and fear later.
What to Do if Your Teen Expresses Suicidal Thoughts for Attention
Also, I’d like to address the teen who says they’re having suicidal thoughts for attention. If you react in the ways described above, then they usually learn their lesson. But like I said, you shouldn’t act like that in case they are serious. It’s important to be careful if a teen says they’re having suicidal thoughts. However, if it’s clear you’re angry or scared, they probably feel embarrassed for saying something like that when they didn’t mean it. Also, if they go to that extreme to get attention, then they clearly need some attention. Giving it to them is not a bad thing.
Keeping Your Teen Safe
I know this is an unimaginably tough thing to deal with. It’s something you never want to face. It causes a sick, panicky feeling in a parent. You may have never felt so little control over your child’s well-being. Take a deep breath and then purposely walk through the steps you need to take to help your teen be safe.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
