Whether your teen is suffering from POTS, cancer, an autoimmune disease, or one of the many other thousands of things that can go wrong with the human body, living with chronic illness is hard. These include breathing exercises, regular exercise, better sleep, distraction, and proper emotional support. While none of these steps will cure the chronic condition, they are steps that can mitigate some of the misery.
Living with a chronic condition is lonely for an adolescent.
Physical Ways to Help Teens With Chronic Illness
Breath Techniques
Breathe in deeply. Hold your breath. Breath out slowly. Breathe in deeply. Hold your breath. Breathe out slowly. Controlling breath is one of the relaxation techniques that is helpful for teens with chronic illness and chronic pain. Slowing the heart rate down through concentration on breath control helps lower anxiety. Lower anxiety means a more relaxed body. This usually translates to a reduction in physical suffering.
Imagine breathing calming, healing breath into the area of pain. Picture the breath filling the lungs, exchanging oxygen for carbon dioxide, and adhering to your red blood cells. Picture it moving through your body into to area(s) of discomfort. Imagine the area of discomfort relaxing. Imagine your red blood cells taking the carbon dioxide away from your pain, exchanging in the lungs, and exhaling from the body. With that, picture some of the pain leaving the body too.
Exercise
I read an article that people with chronic injuries tend to baby their injury. They probably don’t mean to. I believe they fear causing a setback or that it will hurt while exercising. However, this researcher went on to discover that people who were pushed to continue some form of exercise eventually found their pain receded. In many cases it disappeared. For this reason, I love the idea of asking your treating physician for a physical therapy referral whenever appropriate. PT helps me manage my lupus symptoms, and I have attended at least a few sessions per year ever since getting diagnosed. Consistent exercise in line with my doctor’s recommendations has also helped control my pain. I hope it can do the same to help your teen living with chronic pain or chronic illness (more here).
Sleep
You already know this. I know you do. However, it cannot be overstated. Protecting sleep is one of the most important things people with chronic illness can do. My rheumatologist told me right from the outset that this was the single most important change to make in my life. She said I must lie down for 8 hours per night so that I at least have the chance to get enough sleep. Now I guard my sleep time carefully. You must also prioritize this for your chronically ill teen as it is a key way to help them feel somewhat better.
Mental Techniques To Help Teens With Chronic Pain and Chronic Illness
Distraction
My aunt just had knee surgery. She has been in considerable pain for the past 4 weeks since the operation. A couple days ago she said to me, “It’s the weirdest thing. When I get on the phone with someone and start chatting, the pain recedes.” That didn’t seem strange to me. The brain is amazing in the ways it focuses. When we are enjoying relationships and conversation, other things fade. When we have something urgent to focus on, we tend to lose sight of everything else. While extreme pain will always cut through to the forefront of your conscience, dull chronic pain can recede somewhat. So, make a concerted effort to help your teen focus on something challenging that isn’t overwhelming. Then your teen dealing with chronic illness or chronic pain will have some relief.
Emotional Help for Teen With Chronic Disease
Empathy and Understanding
This is where a support group and/or therapy play a huge role! Sitting with someone who understands the frustrations, need for modification in activities, the sadness, and the fatigue that comes with constant suffering and vigilance against suffering is a big deal. Your teenager often feels like the only teen who is living a less carefree life than his or her peers. It gets lonely. Working with someone who understands the feelings that come with chronic pain/illness helps your teen make better choices. Your teenager is more likely to find purpose in the suffering too. According to the National Institute of Health, people who have support from a counselor or peers who really get chronic conditions have better psychological health, shorter healing times, and better preventative behaviors. I would add that it is easier to find meaning in the suffering when talking to others who also understand.
At Teen Therapy OC we are here to help. You are welcome to call or connect with us if your child is living with a chronic condition. Not only do I (Lauren) live with one, our whole team is happy to listen or pray with you as you navigate this extremely challenging journey.
More than a few times I’ve seen clients come in for therapy unsure if what they are suffering is teen grief or depression. It is reasonable to be confused by this because they can feel very similar. When your teenager loses someone close, life turns upside down. When this happens, teens feel as if life loses its meaning. Likewise, depression takes away clarity about the meaning of life. Because of this confusion, depression and grief can be hard to differentiate.
Sometimes adolescent grief becomes depression.
Can it be Both Depression and Grief?
The short answer is, yes, sometimes. If your teenager was already depressed, grief can layer on top. However, if the depression wasn’t present before the loss, we don’t diagnose depression while an adolescent is bereaved. For the first two months after a major loss, therapists and psychiatrists do not typically diagnose Major Depressive Disorder. The timing of depression is one of the ways clinicians differentiate between depression and grief in teens (and all people actually).
What is a “Typical” Progression of Grief?
After one to three months, most teens feel their grief shift. While the loss is forever life-altering, teenagers tend to establish their new normal. They began to laugh again. They start to reengage with friendships. If they are coping with the death of a parent, they start to align closely with the other parent or guardian. Of course, there are still times when grief floods over them until they feel debilitating sorrow, but these instances became less and less frequent.
Please don’t read this and start thinking, “Oh no! There’s something wrong with the way my teen is grieving,” if their process doesn’t match this blog post. Every single person is different. So, while I can tell you what happens with a lot of teen grief scenarios, it doesn’t necessarily mean depression if your teenager is different.
Which is Which?
For some teenagers, the initial grief never lets up. They continue to walk through life feeling nearly numb after the death of the loved one. One teenager I saw wasn’t engaging in any part of life a full year after she lost her dad. She barely got out of bed, combed her hair, or completed any schoolwork. At this point, the grief had crossed into Major Depressive Disorder. The grief triggered the depression episode as she had been a well-adjusted teen before his death. However, she could not shake the brain fog, heart-wrenching crying spells, and confusion that came over her within hours of his death.
In this client’s case, her bereavement had become so complicated that she fit the criteria for Major Depressive Disorder. This is partially because of how long she was in this state. Without treatment for adolescent depression versus treatment for only grief, she may have continued to languish.
What is the Difference Between Teenage Grief and Depression?
Grief and depression feel similar. They both involve pervasive feelings of sadness. They both can suppress the body’s energy. Both grief and loss take away interest in activities that are normally enjoyable. They both create a sense of hopelessness and exhaustion. In contrast, grief tends to let up with time. As one priest put it, “Grief is love with no place to go.” Depression is a shutting down of the whole system. As the love slowly finds new people, ways to honor a memory, and is shared with others who also miss the deceased, active grief becomes integrated. Depression can’t do this. Depression is lonely. It tends to be an absence of joy.
What Can I Do?
Talk to your teen. Find out what they are thinking and feeling as best you can. Ask if they would like to talk with someone. Find out if they feel stuck. And, if you feel stuck in how to help them, please feel free to call. Even if you aren’t sure about beginning counseling right now, at TTOC it’s always a therapist who answers the phone or calls you back. We take a lot of 10-15 minute phone calls where we listen and talk about possible steps even for people who don’t end up booking an appointment. In fact, sometimes we recommend you watch and wait before deciding on therapy. In the case of teen grief versus teen depression, this very well could be the recommendation. We are just happy to support you wherever you are in your process.
If your teenager is living with a chronic illness, then you know your teen feels different. The limitations your teen faces vary from other teens, but there are things in common. Every chronically ill teen we’ve worked with at TTOC hates feeling “other” than peers. Each young man or woman wants to do what other teens are doing without limitation. CBT for chronically ill teens can help alleviate some of this emotional pain.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helps with this. Chronically ill teens need to find the precarious balance between doing as much as is possible while not pushing too hard. If your son or daughter pushes too hard, then they can experience a physiological setback. This is more isolating. If your teenager spends a majority of time trying to think about how to prevent a flare-up of physical symptoms, their life becomes entrapped to careful rule following instead of freely enjoying the moment.
How Does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Help Chronically Ill Teens?
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (usually called CBT) leads your child to challenge his or her self-imposed emotional and sometimes physical obstructions. One chronically ill teenager I had as a client had come down with POTS and EDS as a 16-year-old. She had formerly been the life of the party, the most energetic, and the most athletic of her friends. Because she could no longer sustain the energy needed to play those roles, she completely withdrew from her social circle. We used CBT for chronic illness to challenge her belief that she was “only a valuable friend if I can entertain everyone.”
Another young woman was dealing with a physical problem that caused her to feel dizzy and faint. Because of this, she developed a fear of going out in public if she wasn’t in a seated position. I can 100% understand how this happened to her; I would fear it too. However, she underwent treatment, which stopped the fainting. However, the dizziness continued. Whenever she felt dizzy, she feared fainting to the point where she wasn’t going out with friends at all. The social isolation became depressing. We used CBT to challenge her fear of feeling dizzy. Once she faced that fear, she started socializing more, which led to increased joy.
CBT Increases Mental Flexibility in Adolescents
CBT can increase your chronically ill teenager’s mental flexibility. Oftentimes teens want to do things the way they did them before they got sick. However, this is no longer possible. Your teenager has to learn to still participate in as much as possible, but it is okay to modify activities. We challenge all or nothing black and white thinking patterns about life. Your teen can likely do more than he or she thinks. Rarely, I see a chronically ill teen who consistently overdoes it. Usually, the effort to control flare-ups and miserable symptoms causes your teen to pull back farther than is necessary. For example, rather than no longer seeing friends, why not have friends come to the house to watch a movie? There are a lot of ways to do part of something.
For your teen, partially participating does a lot to keep up joy, connection, and overall mental health. If these are better, then your teen is more likely to retain some level of physical activity. As you can see, this improves overall health.
Chronic Illness and Chronic Pain Aren’t Easy for Teens
At TTOC we know having a chronically ill teen isn’t easy. We know this isn’t what any of you signed up for or how you wanted life to go. We agree that it stinks, and we wish you weren’t facing this. However, learning first to accept the unacceptable and then to live life as fully as possible is the best option your teenager has right now. CBT can help with this.
Please feel free to reach out with questions. While we don’t pretend to have all the answers, we might have a few things that can improve your teen’s quality of life. Read more to find out how.
You’ve probably heard of DBT, but you might not be sure what it is. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is a type of counseling frequently used with teenagers. It works well in group settings and one on one. DBT for adolescents focuses on teaching adolescents skills they can use to tolerate feelings of emotional distress. Emotional distress frequently leads to acting out behaviors such as cutting, suicidal thoughts, promiscuity, anger issues, experimentation with substance abuse, and other impulsive choices. The therapist works on skills ranging from something called radical acceptance (learning to allow events and feelings that simply cannot be changed instead of fighting them) to interpersonal skills that help your teenager get along better with family and friends. This especially works well in a teen group counseling setting.
Why Group Therapy?
At Teen Therapy OC we believe strongly in giving your teen the best chance to take what they learn here in counseling and apply it to their lives. Consequently, the group setting is an amazing chance for your son or daughter to practice using the DBT skills with peers before using them in life. Jazmine, the therapist who leads our DBT group, comments that, “These teens lean on each other for support. They encourage one another to try out their new skills in group to see if they work.” She also notes that teens who learn the DBT skills in a group format seem to integrate them more fully. In other words, because they are helping one another learn them, they take a more vested interest. Teenagers who are the right fit for DBT usually also feel lonely. Because of this, the group setting provides amazing support and compassion.
Does DBT Group Counseling for Teens Work?
It isn’t for everyone of course, but that’s why we screen when you call. Feel free to reach out and let’s chat about it. Right now Jazmine is in the middle of a 5 week DBT group session. So far, it’s been amazing. These young teenagers look forward to each session. They have support from peers. Many of them naturally experience strong emotions, which can be off-putting to friends. As a result, they feel understood in the DBT group setting. At the same time, they are rooting for one another to succeed in better tolerating the strong emotions so they don’t act out as much. Jazmine creates an environment where each group member knows they are welcomed, wanted, and an important piece of each group member’s recovery. This gives each teenager a sense of selfless purpose.
How Do We Get Our Teenager Started?
Your teenager has the potential to grow and thrive using DBT. Your teen has love to give others, and there are peers who will value your son or daughter. Most importantly, your teenager doesn’t need to feel alone as he or she journeys towards improved mental health. To begin in Teen Therapy OC’s group therapy, reach out to us at our Contact Page. We allow new teens to join the DBT group during the first week of each month. We also understand it can be hard to join a new group. Sometimes we suggest an individual session with Jazmine beforehand. However, if together you and Jazmine decide that isn’t necessary for your teenager, know that she is warm, welcoming, and engaging. She carefully selects the teens in the group to make as positive an experience as possible for every teen she sees.
Please don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions you have about this post or how it can benefit your teen.
It’s no secret that being a teenager is hard. During this period of time, everything seems to change so rapidly. Hormones are constantly shifting and developing, the body and voice is changing, and suddenly, everything seems so uncertain in life.
There’s drama with friends, crushes develop, and you are now feeling more pressure to succeed in academics and sports to have a bright future. Plus, adding in that teens aren’t always nice to each other, it’s a lot to handle as a teenager.
While we can see childhood mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, or ADHD develop in the early years, the teenage years are when these conditions often really ramp up.
Group therapy has been proven effective in helping teenagers deal with the pressures of growing up and develop lasting coping skills that they will carry into adulthood.
What Is Group Therapy?
Group therapy is a mental health service where people come together, virtually or in person. During these sessions, they will talk about the challenges they are facing. One or more licensed therapists who specialize in child and teen therapy services moderated group therapy sessions for teenagers.
Many different types of group therapy services exist for teenagers. These group therapy sessions can be general or focused on specific issues that teens can face. Specialized group therapy sessions can focus on the following:
Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
Depression
Trauma
Social anxiety
Grief
Chronic pain/illness
Weight challenges
ADHD
…and so much more!
What Are The Benefits of Group Therapy For Teens?
Support From Peers
It’s hard to not feel lonely when you are a teenager. When it feels as if everyone and everything is against you, it can be an isolating experience. You don’t feel like anyone gets you or understands your issues.
Group therapy switches the narrative on this common experience. It can help teens find support from their peers and maybe people they never thought they’d find things in common with. It also helps to reduce the stigma surrounding mental health by recognizing that the struggles we face in life are commonly experienced by all people.
Raises Self-Awareness
One great thing about group therapy for teens is that it raises awareness and compassion towards oneself. We all do it; we look at the issues we face in life and can only see one side: ours. Group therapy raises awareness by giving constructive feedback and differing viewpoints that may not have been realized otherwise.
The experience of sharing your struggles in life can be really empowering. Frequently, we think about what we are facing and feel alone as if we are the only people going through it. While every situation and person is unique, it can be surprising that other teenagers face something similar in their own lives.
It Teaches Social Skills
Group therapy for teenagers is a great way to really focus on healthy communication and conflict resolution. It can teach you how to be less reactive and more thoughtful when you are interacting with other teens or even adults.
You will also learn to read body language and between the lines of what is being said. It can be challenging to do either of those things in the teenage years. These types of communication skills are things that you will carry with you for the rest of your life.
Increases Motivation
Learning that you are not alone with what you are going through can be highly empowering. This empowerment can help you think about your long-term goals and help you to make positive changes. While most people don’t give credit to teens, they do think about the personal goals they would like to reach. Seeing other people reach their goals or strive towards them can be a powerful motivator, no matter your age.
If you want to learn more about group therapy for teens or other mental health services, don’t hesitate to reach out.
Hello, I’m Lauren! If you notice your teen struggling, you might be feeling helpless, hopeless, frustrated or concerned as a parent. Try to remember, there is hope. I want to help your adolescent feel better. My hope is for them to enjoy their life again. I want them to feel confident they can handle whatever situations arise.
