by Lauren Goodman | Sep 19, 2025 | Parenting Techniques
Introducing Guest Blogger Mark Platte, Counselor for Teen Boys
In this blog post we have a guest writer, Mark Platte MA, Associate PCC. He is going to share his thoughts on building confidence in teen boys and some of the struggles they face. Mark specializes in counseling for teen boys and has a unique understanding of their emotions, frustrations, and behaviors during the challenging, pivotal years of adolescence. I hope you enjoy and take something valuable from his perspective!
Building Confidence in Teen Boys: Managing Anger, Finding Direction, and How Counseling Can Help
Growth and Facing Change
Most of the young men who come to see me are wrestling with two big questions: What am I supposed to do with my life? and once I figure that out, how do I actually achieve it? These questions can feel overwhelming, especially during the teenage years when so much is changing at once.
Whether their parents are married, divorced, or they’re being raised by a single mom or dad—or even if they’ve already moved out—teen boys often come to counseling to sort through their emotions and figure out their place in a world that doesn’t always seem to know what to make of them. They are learning how to handle feelings like anger, anxiety, and depression, while also navigating their first experiences with love, dating, and independence.
Comparison and Purpose
A common theme is comparison. Teen boys constantly measure themselves—at school, in sports, with friends, among siblings, and with their parents. Many have a vague idea of what they want to do after middle school or high school, but few know how to turn those dreams into a plan. When that uncertainty builds, it can lead to discouragement and even quiet despair.
That’s when many retreat into video games, social media, or fantasy worlds. While this might offer temporary escape, it often signals that real life feels too difficult. Shying away from hard things never leads to growth—but facing challenges, step by step, can help teen boys gain confidence, manage anger in healthy ways, and develop the resilience they need for adulthood.
Lessons On Building Confidence in Teen Boys
Counseling can be an excellent tool in building confidence in teen boys. Here are five lessons that come up frequently during therapy sessions:
- Young men need meaning. Teen boys naturally search for purpose. Counseling helps them connect their struggles with growth and understand why challenges matter.
- Struggle is not weakness. From Abraham Lincoln to Winston Churchill to Lady Gaga and Oprah Winfrey, history shows that setbacks are often the price of success.
- Big goals require small steps. Breaking challenges down makes the impossible seem doable and keeps progress moving forward.
- Parents should step back. While it’s natural to want to shield teens from pain, real growth comes from allowing them to solve problems and succeed on their own.
- Praise effort, not just outcomes. Teen boys can easily feel discouraged when results don’t match expectations. Recognizing effort builds perseverance and self-belief.
How Counseling Helps
When teen boys learn to confront challenges rather than avoid them, they discover strengths they didn’t know they had. Counseling for teen boys provides the tools to manage anger, reduce anxiety, and build lasting confidence. More than just getting through a tough season, it’s about helping young men uncover their purpose, strengthen their character, and step into life with courage.
by Lauren Goodman | Sep 19, 2025 | Parenting Techniques
Teen Artificial Intelligence Use: What Parents Should Know
AI is a rapidly growing technology, and, like many new online tools, teens are among the first to adopt it. While AI can be fun and even educational, not all teens use it responsibly. Some even use it in ways that can negatively affect their physical and mental health. As a parent, it’s important to understand how teens are using AI, what risks it may pose, and how you can guide them to a better use.
Teens Using AI to Cheat in School
One of the most common ways teens use AI is for schoolwork—especially writing essays. While it might feel like a shortcut to a perfect paper, it’s actually a form of plagiarism. Teens who rely on AI for their assignments miss out on the chance to learn, grow, and practice their own skills.
What many don’t realize is that using AI this way can also affect their peers. Students who prefer to do their own work may feel like they can’t keep up, and some may feel pressured to use AI just to stay even. Teachers now use AI detectors, but these aren’t perfect—they sometimes miss instances of improper use and occasionally flag honest students. This can create stress, confusion, and an uneven learning environment.
Teens Using AI in Place of Human Connection
One of the more concerning ways teens use AI is to replace human connection. Some teens, especially those facing social or emotional struggles, may turn to AI for companionship. They rely on AI to fill the gap in human connection, sometimes forming attachments and treating the AI like a friend or even a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Teens Discussing Serious Things with AI Instead of Parents
Sometimes teens turn to AI to discuss issues they should be talking about with parents. Most AI platforms include built-in safety features intended to block these conversations and provide suggestions for help. However, teens find ways to work around these protections. One heartbreaking example of this: last April, a freshman at Tesoro High School spoke with ChatGPT about suicide, and then completed it.
What You Can Do
AI is a tool, and like any tool is not in itself good or bad. When used properly, it’s an amazing resource that makes life easier. However, using AI incorrectly can cause problems. A practical way to support your child is to monitor their AI use, similar to how you would with social media or online searches, and guide them to use it wisely so it becomes a valuable lifelong skill.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Aug 8, 2025 | Eating Disorder Therapy
What Parents Should Know About Eating Disorders in Boys
Eating disorders happen to boys too. It’s not as commonly discussed as eating disorders in girls, and it’s not quite as prevalent. However, it definitely happens. In fact, it’s a real and growing concern. If you’re worried your son might be struggling with one, it’s key to know what eating disorders in boys can look like, the warning signs to watch for, and how you can step in to help.
Eating Disorders in Boys Vs. In Girls
When boys have eating disorders, they often look different from those in girls, which can make them easier to overlook. Girls may focus on being extremely thin, while boys typically aim to look “cut” or “chiseled.” This can lead to excessive weightlifting, eating very little, and, when they do eat, focusing almost entirely on protein.
Signs Your Son Might Have an Eating Disorder
There are some key signs to watch for if you are worried about eating disorders in boys.
1. Obsession with Working Out
Is your son spending way too much time at the gym? Does he lift so much weight that you worry about injury? This can be a warning sign of eating disorders in boys.
2. Focus on Body Fat Percentage
While girls often talk in pounds, boys talk in body fat percentages. I’ve heard boys aim for as low as 4% body fat to look “cut.” This is not healthy — our bodies need fat to function.
3. Frequent Dieting
Some boys skip meals or eat only fruits and veggies to get thinner. This is another sign of eating disorders in boys. Even if their goal isn’t to look emaciated, their ideals can still be just as unrealistic as girls.
4. Cutting Out Entire Food Groups
Many boys try to bulk up on protein and cut carbs, avoiding bread, chips, and sweets entirely. This can be another sign of unhealthy body obsession.
Why This Is A Problem
Over-focusing on body image can have serious consequences. Starvation plus excessive exercise is dangerous for physical health. It can also stunt emotional development and character development. If your son is only thinking about his body, he might:
- Skip social events to avoid missing a workout
- Be distracted on a date, worried about food choices
- Struggle to focus in class due to low calories
How to Help
Body image issues in teenage boys are more common than ever. If you notice signs of eating disorders in boys, talk to your son. If he continues to over-focus on his body image, give me a call, and we can talk about your son’s situation. Your concern and involvement can help him get back on track to being a well-rounded young man.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Aug 8, 2025 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
Understanding Why Teens Feel Overwhelmed
What do you do if your teenager seems constantly overwhelmed or stressed? What causes overwhelmed teens to feel the way they do? How can you help?
What Makes Overwhelmed Teens Feel The Way They Do?
Today, many high school students face overwhelming pressure. Honors students are expected to maintain above a 4.0 GPA, play sports, work, and have a social life. Teens are told they need perfect grades, high test scores, and countless extracurriculars to get into college. Even teens with a 3.6 GPA often feel like they’re failing.
Too Much Noise
On top of academic pressure, teens are bombarded by technology. Phones keep them constantly connected through texts, emails, and social media. While staying in touch is nice, this constant stream of notifications adds more stress to their already full plates.
What If You Have An Overwhelmed Teen?
Sometimes this pressure comes from society, sometimes teens place it on themselves, and other times parents unintentionally add to it. Whatever the cause, if your teen feels overwhelmed, it’s important to take action. Here’s what you can do:
Slowing Down Matters
Help your teen understand the value of slowing down. Encourage a day each week free from phones, homework, and sports. Teach them to enjoy simple things like reading a book or walking the dog. When teens learn to pause, they find more satisfaction in what they already have instead of always chasing the next achievement.
Set the Example
If you want to help overwhelmed teens, model balance in your own life. Show them that fun, rest, and relationships matter as much as accomplishments. When you prioritize these things, they will too.
Go Offline
Taking a break from devices isn’t easy. At first, your teen may feel disconnected or anxious. Try going offline with your teen. Setting the example helps both of you reset. When you have your teen take some time off from tech, they will miss out on some social activities. Just support them through the discomfort and help them see that missing out sometimes is healthy.
Keep Activities in Check
In Southern California’s busy culture, it’s tempting to sign teens up for everything. However, an overbooked schedule causes burnout. Encourage them to focus on a few activities that truly benefit them instead of juggling countless activities.
Supporting Overwhelmed Teens
Remind your teen that good grades don’t have to be perfect. Help them understand that contentment is just as valuable as ambition. Cutting back on tech and activities can be painful, but it’s a lot better for your teen in the long run.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Aug 2, 2025 | Christian Counseling
Why Are Teens Always So Tired?
“Mom, Dad, I’m so tired!” Parents, do you hear this all the time? This probably leaves you wondering, why are teens so tired? Almost every teen has this problem at some point. If your teen constantly feels exhausted, the good news is you can help! Here are five reasons why teens today are feeling so worn out.
1. They Need More Sleep
Teenagers actually need a little over 9 hours of sleep each night—more than adults! Since they’re still growing, sleep is essential. If your teen wants to stay out late, make sure they have time to sleep in the next morning. If not, tell them they can’t go out. Your teen’s sleep has to be prioritized, even when they don’t like it. Sleep helps prevent illness, boosts mood and memory, and gives them energy to tackle the day. It has to come before friends, screens, and sometimes even homework. Lack of sleep is the main reason why teens are so tired.
2. Their Diet Could Use a Boost
It’s easy to overlook what teens eat because they’re active and don’t look unhealthy. But a healthy diet really makes a difference in energy levels. Eating out a lot means more empty calories, sugar, and salt, and less of the vitamins found in fruits and veggies. Plus, many teens rely on caffeine as a quick fix—but that’s not a long-term solution. Helping your teen eat well can improve how energized they feel.
3. They Don’t Spend Enough Time Being Still
Psalm 46:10 in the Bible says, “Be still and know that I am God.” Surprisingly, quieting your mind actually helps with physical exhaustion. Teens often sleep with their phones next to them, wake up to social media, and always have some noise or distraction going. True rest comes from moments of quiet and calm—just sitting outside, enjoying nature without screens. Because our culture puts so much emphasis on activitiy, most teens don’t know how healing this can be. No wonder teens are so tired! Learning this stillness helps teens recharge mentally and emotionally. Plus, this reduces anxiety too!
4. Teens Are Tired Because They’re Overcommitted
Teens today often say yes to too many activities—sports, clubs, advanced classes, and social events. While these are good, overload leaves them drained. If your teen feels burned out, help them focus on the activities they enjoy most and the advanced courses that best support their goals. Cutting back on extras gives them time to rest and do their best where it counts.
5. Phones Are Big Distractions
Phones and texts can make simple tasks take twice as long. Teens often juggle multiple conversations while trying to focus on important things like homework, which lowers efficiency and causes fatigue. Help your teen see that not every message is urgent. Putting the phone down can help them finish their work faster and leave more time for them to rest.
Why Are Teens So Tired: Getting Better Sleep Pays Off
Parents, these five reasons don’t just answer the question why are teens so tired, they also apply to us adults. Balancing sleep, diet, rest, commitments, and phone use is tough for everyone. However, teaching your teen these good habits now will help improve your teen’s health and happiness forever.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
