by Lauren Goodman | Mar 20, 2026 | Christian Counseling
Why Improving Your Body Image Is So Hard
It’s hard to love yourself sometimes. It’s easy to fixate on one flaw and get stuck there. There’s always something that could be better—but there are also so many things that are already good. Improving your body image doesn’t mean thinking you look perfect. It means learning to see yourself in a more balanced, honest, and kind way.
A Different Way to Think About Your “Flaws”
I’m going to go first. Here are a few things about my body I’ve struggled with: uneven skin tone, dry patches, not-white-enough teeth, and cellulite. As someone in who used to struggle with an eating disorder, I can tell you I’ve spent way too much time focusing on those things.
But instead of only seeing them as problems, I’ve started to ask a different question: what if there are reasons to be grateful for these parts of me?
Improving Your Body Image by Changing Perspective
These “flaws” have actually helped me grow. They keep me humble, they remind me I’m human, and they help me be less judgmental of others. When you have imperfections, it’s easier to appreciate that everyone else does too. It helps you care less about what someone looks like on the outside (including yourself). And honestly, a world without differences wouldn’t even feel human. We’d all look the same, like copies of each other. That’s not what makes people interesting or meaningful.
Improving Your Body Image in a Culture Focused on Perfection
We live in a culture that constantly tells us what we should look like. If it’s not acne, it’s body shape. If it’s not that, it’s skin tone, hair, or something else.
But those standards change all the time. What’s considered “perfect” now won’t be the same in a few years. That’s a good reminder that those standards aren’t truth—they’re just trends.
What God Says About You
My flaws remind me that God’s ways are higher than mine. There’s a Bible verse that I love. It says, “And do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2a). It reminds me that what I see as “imperfect” is really just a “pattern of this world.”
When you compare yourself to the standards the world sets up as beautiful, it can feel like every little thing needs to be better. This makes improving your body image practically impossible. But God looks at your heart and your mind. Being a kind and loving person is far more important than having a straight nose. Appearance matters much less than we’re led to believe. Even so, God created each of us beautifully exactly according to His design. So when you’re not feeling good about how you look, remember that God didn’t make a mistake—He made you exactly as He intended.
What Really Matters
If I had been given what the world calls a “perfect” body, I probably wouldn’t have learned to care about what’s inside. But because I’ve had to wrestle with insecurities, I’ve learned to focus on deeper things. Over time, I’ve realized my “flaws” aren’t really flaws at all. They’ve helped shape who I am. They’ve pushed me toward growth and maturity.
You don’t need to look perfect to feel good about yourself. Improving your body image is about learning to see yourself with more grace, more truth, and less pressure. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s peace.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Jan 28, 2026 | Christian Counseling
How Faith Helps with Addiction Recovery When Addiction Makes Life Feel Pointless
Does faith really matter when it comes to addiction recovery? In my experience, yes—very much so. While some people do get sober without faith, it’s not very common. Most people who truly heal end up putting their hope in something bigger than themselves, something that gives their life meaning again. Often, that something is God. This is how faith helps with addiction recovery.
When addiction has taken over, life without a high can feel dull, empty, or just not worth it. Getting sober is uncomfortable and often miserable at first. Faith can be what helps someone keep going when everything in them wants to give up.
Why Purpose Is So Important in Recovery
People don’t usually get sober just because they’re told they should. They need a reason. Believing you were created on purpose, and that your life still matters, can be powerful motivation. This is one of the ways faith helps with addiction recovery. It gives hope that life on the other side of addiction is meaningful, even when it isn’t easy.
Addiction is often about chasing good feelings and avoiding pain. Faith shifts the focus away from doing what makes you feel good in the moment and toward purpose. Following God doesn’t promise a pain-free life, but it does offer fulfillment. For many people, that difference changes everything.
How Faith Helps With Addiction Recovery Day to Day
When people talk about getting sober “through faith,” they’re usually talking about value and hope. Faith helps them believe they are more than their addiction and more than their past mistakes. Instead of living for the next high, they start living for something that lasts.
A faith-based recovery can also help people tolerate discomfort. Recovery isn’t comfortable. There are cravings, emotional lows, and hard truths to face. Having faith gives people a reason to sit with that discomfort instead of escaping it.
Faith and the Painful Parts of Change
Breaking free from addiction is exhausting. Detox can be brutal. Letting go of old friends, routines, and coping strategies can feel like losing everything at once. This level of change usually requires a complete shift in how someone sees themselves and the world.
This is likely why programs like Alcoholics Anonymous emphasize turning things over to God, and why so many people find healing in faith-based programs like Celebrate Recovery. These are just a few of many great faith-centered recovery programs. Faith provides something steady to hold onto when life feels chaotic.
Hold Onto Hope
If you or your teenager is stuck in the cycle of addiction, don’t lose hope. Faith doesn’t promise instant happiness, but it does offer meaning, love, and purpose, which is far more rewarding in the end than instant gratification. Many people discover through faith that they still have value and still have something to offer the world—even after addiction.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Dec 7, 2025 | Christian Counseling
How to Help a Teen Overcome Trauma
As a therapist who has worked with teens for years, I’ve heard many stories about trauma. Some parents of these teens panic, and others get so overwhelmed they downplay what happened. Both reactions make sense—seeing your child hurt is one of the hardest things a parent can face. It also leaves you wondering what to do. How do you help a teen overcome trauma?
Understanding Trauma in Teens
Trauma affects teens in different ways. Some bounce back quickly, while others struggle for a long time. When a teen goes through something scary, painful, or overwhelming, it can impact how they see themselves and the world.
Faith and Stability Support Healing
One important part of healing is having something steady and unchanging to hold onto. Faith can be a key part of helping teens overcome trauma. For many people, faith gives hope, comfort, and meaning when life feels broken. But this can be complicated. Many trauma survivors feel angry with God or abandoned by Him. They wonder how a good God could let bad things happen. These big questions are important, and it’s helpful to talk them through with a trusted religious leader.
Helping Teens Overcome Trauma by Tackling Shame
Shame is one of the hardest parts of trauma. Shame says, “I am bad,” instead of “Something bad happened to me.” Teens often blame themselves, even when the trauma was completely out of their control. Healing takes time and help—especially when it comes to letting go of shame.
When to Get Professional Support
Every person goes through painful experiences in life, but some events can leave deep wounds that don’t heal on their own. If you’re worried about how your teen is coping, it’s a good idea to get professional help. Sometimes one event can keep hurting someone long after it’s over. If your teen could use additional support, call, and we can discuss next steps for you and your teen.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Oct 7, 2025 | Christian Counseling
The Difference Between Guiding and Controlling Parenting Styles
As a parent, one of the most important choices you’ll make is whether to guide your teen or try to control them. The difference between guiding vs controlling parenting makes a huge impact on your child’s confidence, independence, and future. It’s not always easy to see if you’ve overstepped your bounds as a parent. That’s why it’s important to explore the signs of controlling parenting and understand how to help your teen grow in a healthier, positive way.
What Does Controlling Parenting Look Like?
A controlling parent often uses guilt, pressure, or subtle put-downs to influence their child’s choices. They might say things like, “After all I do for you, this is how you repay me?” or criticize their teen’s friends, hobbies, or school choices. Teens in this type of environment may feel like their opinions and decisions don’t matter. Over time, they can become passive, fearful, or rebellious.
I saw this firsthand with my cousin. His mom had the best intentions and loved him deeply, but she controlled nearly every part of his life—from who he spent time with to what college he attended. Growing up, he learned to keep quiet rather than speak his mind. Once he got to college and finally had freedom, he didn’t know how to handle it. He spiraled into partying, drinking, skipping classes, and losing focus. This is a real life example of controlling parenting.
The Root of Controlling Behavior
Most controlling parents act out of fear and anxiety. They love their child deeply and worry that mistakes will ruin their future. Unfortunately, that anxiety drives them to micromanage every choice. While this might feel protective, it robs teens of essential life skills—like recovering from failure, making independent choices, self-motivation, and resilience.
How to Guide and Teach Your Teen Without Taking Over
Guiding vs controlling parenting isn’t about being hands-off. It’s about teaching and walking alongside your teen instead of managing every detail. Remember, your child was entrusted to you for a short season by God’s grace. They will grow into their own person—someone who will face success, failure, love, loss, and everything in between. You can’t control that outcome, but you can guide them with wisdom, patience, and love.
This doesn’t mean you should allow your teen to do whatever they want. They are still young and don’t have the maturity to always make good decisions. Setting healthy rules and boundaries with love is still vital. What guiding really means is letting your teen make choices, experience consequences, and learn from them. It means teaching recovery after failure, encouraging independence, and offering support without manipulation. Think of yourself as a steward—someone entrusted with your teen’s early years.
Final Thoughts on Guiding vs Controlling Parenting
Don’t try to control every aspect of your child’s life to shield them from mistakes or failures. Instead, listen well, offer advice, set limits when needed, and always show love. Guiding vs controlling parenting makes all the difference in raising confident and capable teens.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Oct 7, 2025 | Christian Counseling
Parenting Sexually Active Teens
As parents, there are moments in our kids’ lives that stop us in our tracks—the first time they start driving, the first time you smell alcohol on their breath after a party, or the moment you first realize your teen is having sex. These moments can feel overwhelming and even terrifying. Some parents don’t worry about their teen being sexually active as long as they use protection from pregnancy and diseases. But from my years working with teens, I can tell you most parents are caught off guard and often upset when they discover their teen is sexually active.
Why Sexually Active Teens Struggle
Sexually active teens often experience dating relationships that are much more intense than those who aren’t sexually active. It makes sense—sex is deeply emotional and brings a level of vulnerability that most teens aren’t ready for. Being physically intimate can fast-track a relationship, and many teens just don’t have the maturity to handle the emotional closeness and complications that come with it.
What Parents Can Do When Teens Are Sexually Active
So what should you do if you find out your teen is sexually active? First, don’t assume it’s none of your business. Teens need guidance, even if they push back. If you just hand over condoms or birth control and never talk about it, you’re leaving your teen to figure out grown-up issues without adult advice.
On the other hand, avoid glorifying teen sex. Cheering them on like it’s some rite of passage only sets them up for unhealthy patterns and sends the wrong message about responsibility and respect.
Setting Boundaries With Sexually Active Teens
You need to talk with your teen openly and set clear boundaries. They should know what being sexually active means—not just physically, but emotionally too. It’s okay if they get frustrated or push back. Many of the young adults I’ve worked with have told me they wished their parents had stepped in more when they were teens. Often those realizations come after painful breakups or regrets.
Waiting is Best
From my perspective, waiting is the healthiest choice. The longer your teen waits to be sexually active, the better prepared they’ll be to make wise decisions about relationships and partners. For Christian parents, it can be helpful to gently share God’s design for sex—marriage. Remind your teen as well that forgiveness and grace are always available. What doesn’t help is harsh judgment or making them feel like their future is ruined—that only drives secrecy and shame.
Handling a Sensitive Topic With Love
These conversations are never easy, but avoiding them isn’t the answer. Approach your teen with love, patience, and care. Be honest but gentle, and if needed, talk with the parents of your teen’s partner in a respectful way. Above all, lead with love and respect—that’s what makes these conversations meaningful and effective.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Sep 24, 2025 | Christian Counseling
Finding Peace in the Struggle
Anxiety can feel overwhelming. It can make reaching goals, connecting with people, or just enjoying life feel impossible. Sometimes the fears don’t make sense to others—like feeling like a failure despite good grades, or thinking no one likes you even when surrounded by friends. However, this doesn’t make it any easier to manage. Thankfully, faith can help ease that anxiety and bring a real sense of peace.
How Faith Can Help With Anxiety
One of the most powerful ways to cope with anxiety is by leaning on your faith. Most major religions teach not to worry. Some even call worry a sin, reminding us to focus on something bigger than the immediate fear weighing us down.
Even if you don’t have a strong faith in God, there are valuable lessons from religion that can help ease anxiety. Pouring out your fears in prayer, or simply believing that something greater cares for you, can be comforting.
Finding Support
Joining a community of supportive people—such as a church or support group—can also bring encouragement and strength. Faith communities often break down the stigma around anxiety, offering a safe place to both give and receive support.
A Christian Perspective on Faith and Anxiety
From a Christian point of view, God wants you to remember that He will carry your burdens. Jesus already took on the punishment for our wrongs, so we have no reason to live in fear. We are never alone in painful times, because God does not abandon us. Remembering this truth brings peace, even in our darkest days. Christianity also emphasizes living in community—sharing sorrows and fears with others. Having people pray for you and walk alongside you makes life’s challenges far less overwhelming. God uses our faith to help defeat anxiety.
Psalm 28:8-9 reminds us: “God is all strength for his people, ample refuge for his chosen leader; Save your people and bless your heritage. Care for them; carry them like a good shepherd.” (The Message Translation).
Moving Beyond Anxiety
Facing your worries is never easy, but you don’t have to do it alone. When you rely on faith, prayer, and the support of others, you gain the strength and hope needed to move forward. Faith may not completely erase anxiety, but trusting God and leaning on others can help you find peace and strength.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
