by Lauren Goodman | Sep 19, 2025 | Parenting Techniques
Teen Artificial Intelligence Use: What Parents Should Know
AI is a rapidly growing technology, and, like many new online tools, teens are among the first to adopt it. While AI can be fun and even educational, not all teens use it responsibly. Some even use it in ways that can negatively affect their physical and mental health. As a parent, it’s important to understand how teens are using AI, what risks it may pose, and how you can guide them to a better use.
Teens Using AI to Cheat in School
One of the most common ways teens use AI is for schoolwork—especially writing essays. While it might feel like a shortcut to a perfect paper, it’s actually a form of plagiarism. Teens who rely on AI for their assignments miss out on the chance to learn, grow, and practice their own skills.
What many don’t realize is that using AI this way can also affect their peers. Students who prefer to do their own work may feel like they can’t keep up, and some may feel pressured to use AI just to stay even. Teachers now use AI detectors, but these aren’t perfect—they sometimes miss instances of improper use and occasionally flag honest students. This can create stress, confusion, and an uneven learning environment.
Teens Using AI in Place of Human Connection
One of the more concerning ways teens use AI is to replace human connection. Some teens, especially those facing social or emotional struggles, may turn to AI for companionship. They rely on AI to fill the gap in human connection, sometimes forming attachments and treating the AI like a friend or even a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Teens Discussing Serious Things with AI Instead of Parents
Sometimes teens turn to AI to discuss issues they should be talking about with parents. Most AI platforms include built-in safety features intended to block these conversations and provide suggestions for help. However, teens find ways to work around these protections. One heartbreaking example of this: last April, a freshman at Tesoro High School spoke with ChatGPT about suicide, and then completed it.
What You Can Do
AI is a tool, and like any tool is not in itself good or bad. When used properly, it’s an amazing resource that makes life easier. However, using AI incorrectly can cause problems. A practical way to support your child is to monitor their AI use, similar to how you would with social media or online searches, and guide them to use it wisely so it becomes a valuable lifelong skill.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Jul 12, 2025 | Parenting Techniques
Why Showing Love to Your Teen Matters
It might seem like your teen only cares about their friends, but showing love to your teen is still really important. When they were little, they loved cuddling and spending time with you. Now, they want to hang out with friends more, and it may feel like they don’t care what you think—but deep down, they still need your love and support.
Teens Still Crave Family Connection
Even though teens act like they only care about their social life, most of the teens I work with in therapy talk more about their families than their friends. They want love, attention, and approval from you—even if they pretend they don’t. Remember how when your teen was a toddler they felt safer and happier just knowing you were close by? That’s still true now. They don’t need you in the same room, but they still want to know you’re there for them.
Love Looks Different Now
Your teen may not want hugs and snuggles like they used to, but they still need to feel loved and safe. A curfew might feel like a fight to them, but it also quietly says, “I care about you.” When you give them a quick hug at bedtime, they might roll their eyes—but they also might feel reassured. When you say something kind about how they look or who they are, it sticks, even if they don’t show it.
The Rewards of Showing Love to Your Teen Take Time to Show
Showing love to your teen is harder than when they were little. Back then, you’d get instant rewards—smiles, giggles, and hugs. Now, you’re driving them all over town and often don’t even get a thank you. But the rewards come later. You’ll see it when they choose not to drink at a party, or when they stick with something hard in college. These moments are proof your love is still making a difference.
Keep the Big Picture in Mind
Showing love to your teen sometimes means setting boundaries that upset them. However, keep the end goal in mind. These boundaries help them grow into a better adult, and they’ll thank you for it later.
Why Showing Love to Your Teen Pays Off
Stick with it. Keep showing love, even when it’s hard or feels unnoticed. A little bit of steady love now can build a strong relationship that lasts for life.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Jun 18, 2025 | Parenting Techniques
Why Father-Daughter Relationships Matter
Dads, your teenage daughter needs you more than ever. It might feel like she’s distant or uninterested — busy with friends, school, and growing independence. Maybe she even acts rude or shuts you out. But deep down, she still needs you. Often, she’s closer with her mom, sharing secrets and feelings. But don’t forget strong father-daughter relationships are vital during these years.
What Makes Father-Daughter Relationships Important
Here’s why strong father-daughter relationships matter:
1. She Wants to Know She’s Valuable
You show your daughter her worth by simply telling her she is loved and valuable. It can feel awkward when your little girl starts to look like a young woman—society’s fears about adult men and teen girls create invisible barriers. But your affectionate, respectful attention reassures her she’s important and loved. This helps her feel secure and valued, so she doesn’t have to seek it elsewhere. This is one of many reasons why father-daughter relationships matter far more than you may believe.
2. She Needs to Feel Attractive
Your daughter is starting to notice who fits in and who doesn’t. Her biggest fear? Not measuring up. When you genuinely see her beauty and compliment her regularly, you give her a confidence boost that lasts a lifetime. It doesn’t have to be complicated. If you see that she is dressed nicely a particular day, tell her so. Simple compliments like this make a huge difference. Your words help shape how she sees herself. This is an important reason why father-daughter relationships matter.
3. She Needs to Feel Safe
Setting rules and limits isn’t about control—it’s about protection. Your daughter might resist, but boundaries show her you treasure her safety. Whether it’s telling her not to be alone with boys or to think twice before sharing photos online, you’re guarding her innocence and teaching her to protect her heart and body.
4. She Needs to Feel Cherished
Teenage girls want to feel like they matter, that they’re at the center of someone’s world. When your daughter knows she’s a big part of yours, she feels secure and cherished. This boosts her self-esteem and helps her navigate life’s challenges. This is another key reason that father-daughter relationships are so important.
5. She Needs to Feel Successful
Your daughter wants to feel like she is successful and making you proud. If your teen makes good grades, that’s wonderful! Celebrate her academic successes with her. However, if school isn’t what she’s naturally good at, appreciate what she is good at. Grades are important, but they’re not everything. Help her discover and develop other talents. Most importantly, make sure she knows you’re proud of her.
The Power Of Father-Daughter Relationships
Dads, your love, approval, and encouragement lay the foundation your daughter will stand on for life. Father-daughter relationships are powerful—embrace the role you have.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Jun 2, 2025 | Parenting Techniques
Teaching Teens Financial Responsibility in an Affluent Area
Orange County, CA, is an area known for its affluence. Many parents can give their teens things they never had growing up. I often hear teens in my office talk about what kind of car they expect for their 16th birthday, or how unfair it feels not to have the newest iPhone. Some of them have part-time jobs, but very few are expected to pay for their own extras. It can be easy to overindulge teens, making teaching teens financial responsibility difficult. However, it’s not impossible.
How Entitlement Starts
It’s not hard to see how this mindset develops. As a parent, you want to give your teen a better start than you had. It’s also easy to get caught up in the local culture of status and comparison. You’ll especially notice this when your teen starts applying to colleges. Many of their peers are applying to expensive private or out-of-state schools, and if they get in, their parents figure out a way to pay for it.
The Line Between Support and Overindulgence
Here’s the tough question: how much is too much? There’s a very fine line between giving your teen a head start and unintentionally raising them to feel entitled. The real cost of entitlement shows up later—often when your child becomes an adult and doesn’t know how to work through challenges on their own. The line between support and overindulgence is key to teaching teens financial responsibility.
When It’s Okay to Say No
It’s healthy for teens to hear “no” sometimes. It teaches them to weigh whether what they want is truly worth the effort. When I was 15, I wanted private group lessons to improve at field hockey. My parents said I could do it—if I paid for it myself. Since the combined price of the 10 lessons was $500, and I earned $5 an hour babysitting, it would’ve taken me 100 hours of work to pay for them. I decided to practice with a friend at the park instead. And you know what? I improved just as much.
A Lesson Beyond the Field
That experience taught me a far more valuable lesson than better stick skills: money costs time, and both should be spent wisely. I’m sure it was hard for my parents to say no, but I’m so glad they did. And for the record, I didn’t stick with field hockey all that long anyway.
When It’s Okay to Say Yes
You don’t always have to say no. Sometimes it’s perfectly reasonable to treat your teen or support them financially. It can be a great way to recognize their effort or reward progress. The key is balance—use your judgment to decide when to say yes and when it’s better for them to earn it. If your teen already has a working phone but wants a newer model, consider having them pay for it. They might decide it’s not worth it, or they might save up and learn valuable lessons about budgeting. Teaching teens financial responsibility isn’t about never paying for anything for you teen—it’s about being thoughtful and consistent.
Teaching Teens Financial Responsibility By Meeting Your Teen in the Middle
Another good approach is to meet your teen halfway. If they’re saving for a big purchase, encourage them to save for half while you cover the other half. For example, my daughter wanted a new surfboard. I told her I’d pay for half, but she needed to pay for the rest. This made the goal more achievable for her, while still teaching important financial responsibility. She found a surfboard she loves, and she feels proud of herself for saving for half of it. You can do the same thing with your teen.
Teaching Teens Financial Responsibility Starts at Home
It’s easy to fall into the trap of overindulgence, especially in a place where it seems like everyone else is doing it. But letting your teen earn their own extras teaches them confidence, pride, and self-sufficiency. It’s fine to cover some stuff, like sports equipment. But if your teen wants an upgraded version of something they already own, that’s a great opportunity to let them to pay for it themselves. Teaching teens financial responsibility doesn’t mean depriving them—it means giving them the skills and mindset they’ll need to thrive as adults.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | May 22, 2025 | Parenting Techniques
Show Your Pride
How often are you telling your adolescent you’re proud of them? Even when they’re acting out, there’s something to be proud of—some reason you’re thankful this child is yours. In this post we’ll explore positive parenting for teens and how to compliment them without being overly flattering.
Teens Still Care What You Think
Your teen needs to hear that you approve of them. Even if they act like your opinion doesn’t matter to them, it does. That’s often what arguments are really about—they want you to see and validate their perspective.
Positive Parenting for Teens By Avoiding Comparison with Others
Try not to compare your teen to other teenagers. Instead, compare them to their past self. It’s great to point out how they’ve grown. However, avoid backhanded compliments like, “Even though you have a long way to go, you’re better at math than last year.” That opening just undercuts the praise. Instead say something like, “I’m so proud of you! You’ve really come a long way in math.”
Be Honest But Encouraging
You don’t have to fake approval. You don’t have to say to say you like your teen’s drug-using boyfriend. But you can be honest and positive—tell your daughter she looks nice if she’s dressed well or praise her for keeping her room clean.
Positive Parenting for Teens By Looking for the Good
It’s easy to get stuck on the things that need improvement, but teens thrive on encouragement. They’re still developing, still learning how to act maturely and take responsibility. Many were literal children just a few years ago. Their frustration tolerance is low, and they often quit when they feel overwhelmed.
Avoid Flattery
You don’t have to constantly compliment your teen—it can feel smothering. Just avoid being negative. If your teen is struggling or making poor choices, talk with them kindly but firmly. Give appropriate consequences if they continue to disobey you. Never affirm bad decisions. They need honesty and support more than flattery.
Positive Parenting for Teens: Reinforce What’s Going Well
Be patient. Look for small wins and praise them for it. Try to avoid nitpicking, and make an effort to notice and acknowledge what your teen is doing well in a balanced, supportive way. When you highlight what your teen is doing right, you’re likely to see more of it.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Apr 22, 2025 | Parenting Techniques
Are You Listening to Your Teen?
Are you listening to your teen? I mean, truly listening—not while scrolling your phone or stirring dinner, but giving them your full attention. Do you set everything down, look them in the eyes, and try to understand what they’re saying?
What Therapy Can Offer—And What You Can Too
Therapy can offer a lot to teens, but one of the most powerful benefits is actually something you can do for them at home. What is it? Simply giving your teen your full, focused attention. It’s hard to listen sometimes. Sadly, we live in a world full of things trying to distract us. However, we can choose not to give these things our attention.
What Listening to Your Teen Looks Like
When a teen comes into therapy to talk about something that’s bothering them, they can feel that I’m fully present. This is how they want you to listen to them too. Don’t fold laundry, leave the TV or music on, or examine your fingernails or clothes while they’re talking to you. Respond to what they’re telling you. Try saying, “Really! What happened?” or “No way,” or “That must have been really hard.” Match the emotion in their words—even if they don’t show much emotion outwardly themselves. If they tell a sad story with a straight face, respond with compassion anyway. That’s how they know you care.
The Power of Listening to Your Teen—No Training Needed
Of course, therapy involves more than just listening. I’ve spent years learning tools and techniques through reading, training, supervision, and reviewing my sessions. These are skills I’ve practiced over time—just like you’ve developed your own strengths and expertise in your career or everyday life. However, listening is one thing you can do without training. You just have to remember to set down what your doing, pause the music or TV, look directly at your teen instead of other things, and listen to your teen patiently and completely. Also, don’t plan how to respond to your teen while they’re talking to you. Just listen.
Being Tactful
Listening well makes teens feel seen, heard, and respected. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say, and it doesn’t mean you can’t share your opinion. However, you have to choose the right moment. Being tactful means knowing when to offer your thoughts. Being tactful is especially important when listening to your teen. Try to listen more than you talk. Most importantly, when they open up, keep the conversation centered on them—not on your experiences or how you would handle it. In other words, try to hear them instead of making them hear you.
What Being Tactful Looks Like
And make sure you don’t offer you’re opinion at the wrong time or too often. It might come across like you’ve just been waiting to share your thoughts instead of trying to understand theirs. Or that you think their problem is easy to solve and they should’ve figured it out themselves. Even if that’s not what you mean, that’s often how it feels to them. And if they disagree with your suggestion, don’t shut the conversation down or tell them they’re being unreasonable. Let them explain why they see things differently. Most importantly, when you do share your opinion, make sure your tone is warm and open.
Your Superpower As A Parent
However, you have a huge advantage—your teen wants you to hear them. They may not say it out loud. In fact they might seem like they don’t want your advice. However, I promise deep down your teen really cares about you listening to them and what you think. In fact, your teen cares more about you listening to them than anyone else on the planet. It might not always feel that way, but your interest in what they think and feel means more than anything a therapist, teacher, or coach thinks. Those people matter—but you’re their number one.
Just Listen
So, Mom or Dad—whoever is reading this—please take the time to really listen to your teen. It shows them how much you care. Set your phone down, leave your to-do list for later, and let go of the urge to plan how you’ll respond to them. Just listen. That quiet, focused presence can go a long way.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
