How Entitled Teens Act 

Sadly, there are many entitled teens in the world today. Entitled teens leave parents feeling unappreciated, frustrated, and sometimes disgusted. They believe they deserve some huge privileges ranging from new clothes to a car to a college education. What do you if your teen is entitled?

Examples of Entitled Teens 

While many teens are grateful for things, lots of teens believe they have a right to what they receive. It’s important to recognize if your teen is entitled. To help you do this, I’ve provided some examples of entitled teens below. 

Example #1

I once talked to an entitled girl who said, “I need my mom to take me shopping.” Since she always wears nice clothes, I asked her why. She told me, “Well, my friends all want to wear purple dresses on Friday. My mom won’t take me shopping. Can you believe that?” I asked her why she couldn’t use her own money. She looked shocked and said, “Well I shouldn’t have to buy my own clothes.” 

Example #2

I worked with another boy who felt upset because his father was going to give him a hand-me-down car. His father had recently remarried and planned to purchase a BMW for his new wife meaning his son would receive her fairly new Volkswagen. He said, “Can you believe he’d buy her a new car when I’ve always wanted a BMW. It’s like he’s doing that just to spite me!”  

What Causes Entitlement in Teens 

What causes teens to become entitled? Usually this comes from you as parents. Fortunately, this also means you have the power to change it! 

Saying Yes Too Much 

How did you cause this? It probably started when your teen was just a toddler. Many parents say yes to their children, even after they’ve already said no. If you’ve been giving your kid whatever they want since they were little, it’s no surprise that they’re entitled. They know if they argue with you, they’ll get what they want. 

Giving Your Teen Things Out of Guilt 

Other times parents cause their teens to have an entitled attitude out of guilt. In the previously mentioned situation with the BMW, that father felt guilty after getting divorced. So, he bought his children whatever they wanted so he could see them happy again. While I understand feeling this way, this made his teens become entitled. 

What to Do About Your Entitled Teen 

However, no matter what caused it, now you have an entitled teenager. What do you do about it? 

Say No  

Start saying no when your teen asks for new things they don’t need. If they try to argue with you, don’t respond until they’re in a mood to actually listen and learn. Then you can explain why you said no. This will build your teen’s character and combat their entitled attitude.  

Set a Good Example   

The second thing you need to do is set a good example. Don’t indulge yourself at every whim. Don’t go get your nails done because you’re sad, buy a new car because you’re bored with the one you have, or redecorate the inside of your house because it’s not the latest style. Let your teenager overhear you saying you’re going to save money and then follow through with it. This will teach them the difference between a want and a need. 

Let Them Work for Things 

Finally, allow your teen to work for the things they want. When they ask you for the latest gadget, tell them sure… you’ll be happy to take them to buy it when they earn the money to purchase it. Once they realize this is how things go, they won’t ask you for so many things, and they’ll like what they have for longer. Suddenly the iPhone they already own is actually “just fine.” 

Helping Your Teen Go from Entitled to Grateful 

Following these tips will make life easier for you and your teen. You won’t feel the need to get your teen new things all the time, and your teen will be satisfied with what they have. You can do it! It might not be easy or work right away, but consistently doing these things will help your teen go from entitled to a grateful, hardworking young man or woman! 

Helping teens grow and families improve connection, 

Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT