It’s easy to overindulge our teens. Photo Credit: Pixomar and freedigitalphotos.net
Teaching Teens Financial Responsibility in an Affluent Area
Orange County, CA, is an area known for its affluence. Many parents can give their teens things they never had growing up. I often hear teens in my office talk about what kind of car they expect for their 16th birthday, or how unfair it feels not to have the newest iPhone. Some of them have part-time jobs, but very few are expected to pay for their own extras. It can be easy to overindulge teens, making teaching teens financial responsibility difficult. However, it’s not impossible.
How Entitlement Starts
It’s not hard to see how this mindset develops. As a parent, you want to give your teen a better start than you had. It’s also easy to get caught up in the local culture of status and comparison. You’ll especially notice this when your teen starts applying to colleges. Many of their peers are applying to expensive private or out-of-state schools, and if they get in, their parents figure out a way to pay for it.
The Line Between Support and Overindulgence
Here’s the tough question: how much is too much? There’s a very fine line between giving your teen a head start and unintentionally raising them to feel entitled. The real cost of entitlement shows up later—often when your child becomes an adult and doesn’t know how to work through challenges on their own. The line between support and overindulgence is key to teaching teens financial responsibility.
When It’s Okay to Say No
It’s healthy for teens to hear “no” sometimes. It teaches them to weigh whether what they want is truly worth the effort. When I was 15, I wanted private group lessons to improve at field hockey. My parents said I could do it—if I paid for it myself. Since the combined price of the 10 lessons was $500, and I earned $5 an hour babysitting, it would’ve taken me 100 hours of work to pay for them. I decided to practice with a friend at the park instead. And you know what? I improved just as much.
A Lesson Beyond the Field
That experience taught me a far more valuable lesson than better stick skills: money costs time, and both should be spent wisely. I’m sure it was hard for my parents to say no, but I’m so glad they did. And for the record, I didn’t stick with field hockey all that long anyway.
When It’s Okay to Say Yes
You don’t always have to say no. Sometimes it’s perfectly reasonable to treat your teen or support them financially. It can be a great way to recognize their effort or reward progress. The key is balance—use your judgment to decide when to say yes and when it’s better for them to earn it. If your teen already has a working phone but wants a newer model, consider having them pay for it. They might decide it’s not worth it, or they might save up and learn valuable lessons about budgeting. Teaching teens financial responsibility isn’t about never paying for anything for you teen—it’s about being thoughtful and consistent.
Teaching Teens Financial Responsibility By Meeting Your Teen in the Middle
Another good approach is to meet your teen halfway. If they’re saving for a big purchase, encourage them to save for half while you cover the other half. For example, my daughter wanted a new surfboard. I told her I’d pay for half, but she needed to pay for the rest. This made the goal more achievable for her, while still teaching important financial responsibility. She found a surfboard she loves, and she feels proud of herself for saving for half of it. You can do the same thing with your teen.
Teaching Teens Financial Responsibility Starts at Home
It’s easy to fall into the trap of overindulgence, especially in a place where it seems like everyone else is doing it. But letting your teen earn their own extras teaches them confidence, pride, and self-sufficiency. It’s fine to cover some stuff, like sports equipment. But if your teen wants an upgraded version of something they already own, that’s a great opportunity to let them to pay for it themselves. Teaching teens financial responsibility doesn’t mean depriving them—it means giving them the skills and mindset they’ll need to thrive as adults.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
People with Bipolar Disorder spend the majority of their time feeling depressed. Credit: tiniroma/ freedigitalphotos.net
Understanding Bipolar Disorder in Teens
Bipolar disorder in teens isn’t well understood. There is a lot of chaos that comes with a bipolar diagnosis, and it’s a lot more serious than some people think. Below you will learn how to recognize bipolar disorder in teenagers and what to do about it.
Common Misconceptions About Bipolar Disorder in Adolescents
There are a lot of common misconceptions about bipolar disorder, especially in teens. Some people think bipolar doesn’t even exist in teens. Here are some common things people get confused about when it comes to bipolar disorder in teens.
Things People Get Confused About
Many people mistakenly think bipolar disorder is just mood swings or simply feeling up and down about life. Some believe it’s something a person can control on their own without help. There’s also a dangerous myth that suicide isn’t a concern because bipolar disorder isn’t depression. Others think bipolar disorder is rare or unusual. Still others believe that everyone with bipolar disorder experiences mania regularly, and that mania just means feeling happy. There’s also the misconceptions that there’s a specific test to diagnose bipolar disorder, and that it only affects adults.
Truths About Bipolar Disorder in Teens
In bipolar disorder, moods go beyond simple feelings of sadness or happiness. Instead, a person experiences full depressive or manic episodes. Depression may include symptoms like trouble sleeping, loss of interest, suicidal thoughts, low energy, and isolation. Mania involves mood swings, irritability, rapid speech, racing thoughts, grand ideas, less need for sleep, and restlessness.
Calling someone “bipolar” because they change their mind a lot is inaccurate. Many people change their opinions frequently—that doesn’t mean they have bipolar disorder.
Managing bipolar disorder usually requires a combination of medication, therapy, and good mental health habits. It doesn’t always mean lifelong therapy, but professional help is important, especially early on to regain and maintain stability.
Suicide is a serious risk for teens with bipolar disorder. During depressive phases, suicidal thoughts may arise. During manic phases, impulsivity may increase the risk of attempts.
While bipolar disorder is not the most common mental health diagnosis, it’s not rare either. It’s hereditary, so if a parent has bipolar disorder, their children have a higher chance of developing it too.
You only need to experience one manic episode to be diagnosed with bipolar disorder. People often assume those with bipolar disorder are always manic, but in reality, they spend most of their time in depression.
Online symptom checkers cannot diagnose bipolar disorder. Diagnosis must be made by a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist, who can also rule out other conditions that mimic bipolar disorder, such as drug abuse.
Bipolar disorder can be diagnosed in children and is often first identified during adolescence.
What to Do About Bipolar Disorder in Teens
If you suspect that your teen may have bipolar disorder, take them to see a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist. Give me a call, and we can discuss your child’s situation. I can either help your child directly or provide you with some great referrals. With the right combination of therapy and medication, your child can build a meaningful and fulfilling life.
Cyclothymic Disorder in Teens
Cyclothymic disorder is mild bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder in teens is not always so severe that teens experience suicidal thoughts. However, though the swings between mania and depression may not be as extreme, they still cause problems. Just because the disorder is mild, it is not easy to deal with. They may fluctuate between doing irrational things and feeling disinterested in life. While this type of bipolar disorder is less severe, it is still important to get your teen help if you think they might have this disorder.
Teens Living With Bipolar Disorder: There is Hope
Bipolar disorder is challenging both for teens and their families. Depressive episodes can be deeply painful, while manic episodes can cause irrational behavior and poor judgment. Bipolar disorder is heartbreaking, but there is hope for teenagers with this diagnosis through proper treatment and support.
Being an introvert is perfectly fine and normal. Photo credit: naypong via freedigitalphotos.net
Concerns About Social Skills in Introverted Teens
As a therapist who works with teens, I get calls about all kinds of concerns—from drug use to slipping grades, to a teen asking for help but not saying why. One worry that comes up more than you’d think is whether a teen is social enough. Both parents and teens wonder: “Is something wrong if I don’t have a big group of friends?” I have good news! It’s okay to be an introverted teen!
The Pressure to Be Outgoing
We live in a society that glorifies extroverts. People who are outgoing, surrounded by friends, and constantly socializing often get the spotlight. It’s easy to assume being popular means being happy. Teens especially feel this pressure. At school, they notice who’s always laughing, smiling, and fitting in with the crowd.
It’s Fine to Be An Introverted Teen
But not everyone feels comfortable in big groups—and that’s totally okay. Some teens are naturally more introverted. They’d rather hang out one-on-one or spend time alone to recharge. I know this well because I’m the same way. Parents, don’t worry if your teen doesn’t enjoy big social gatherings. That’s simply part of who they are, and it doesn’t necessarily reflect a problem with their personality or mental health.
What Does It Mean to Be an Introvert?
Introverted teens aren’t necessarily shy or anti-social. They might enjoy people and activities but in small doses. After being around others, they often need alone time to regroup. While extroverts thrive on group energy and constant interaction, introverts prefer quiet reflection and close connections.
Introversion vs. Extroversion
If you’re an introverted teen, here’s the good news: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Our culture tends to value busyness and constant socializing, but that’s not the only way to live a fulfilling life. About half of people are introverted—so you’re not alone. You may need time to slow down, think, and recharge. That’s not a flaw; it’s a strength. There’s also nothing wrong with being extroverted. Extroverts have their own strengths and weaknesses, just like introverts. These are just different personality traits. It’s okay to be introverted.
What Parents of Introverted Teens Should Know
If you’re a parent and this sounds like your teen, take a breath. It’s okay if your child prefers quiet nights to crowded parties. If your teen is content, functioning well, and seems emotionally balanced, there’s no need to worry.
What You Should Be Concerned About
On the other hand, if your teen desperately wants to connect but can’t because of anxiety or depression, you should talk about it with a professional. Unlike introversion, anxiety and depression are problems that need addressing. However, the good news is, if your teen is experiencing this, there is help. Give me a call, and we can talk about what your teen is going through.
Supporting Introverted Teens
If your teen is simply more reserved and recharges with alone time, embrace it. They’re likely thoughtful, observant, and emotionally aware. These are amazing qualities that should be encouraged, not changed.
Teens can become easily demoralized if their parents don’t show them approval. Photo Credit: nenetus via freedigitalphotos.net
Show Your Pride
How often are you telling your adolescent you’re proud of them? Even when they’re acting out, there’s something to be proud of—some reason you’re thankful this child is yours. In this post we’ll explore positive parenting for teens and how to compliment them without being overly flattering.
Teens Still Care What You Think
Your teen needs to hear that you approve of them. Even if they act like your opinion doesn’t matter to them, it does. That’s often what arguments are really about—they want you to see and validate their perspective.
Positive Parenting for Teens By Avoiding Comparison with Others
Try not to compare your teen to other teenagers. Instead, compare them to their past self. It’s great to point out how they’ve grown. However, avoid backhanded compliments like, “Even though you have a long way to go, you’re better at math than last year.” That opening just undercuts the praise. Instead say something like, “I’m so proud of you! You’ve really come a long way in math.”
Be Honest But Encouraging
You don’t have to fake approval. You don’t have to say to say you like your teen’s drug-using boyfriend. But you can be honest and positive—tell your daughter she looks nice if she’s dressed well or praise her for keeping her room clean.
Positive Parenting for Teens By Looking for the Good
It’s easy to get stuck on the things that need improvement, but teens thrive on encouragement. They’re still developing, still learning how to act maturely and take responsibility. Many were literal children just a few years ago. Their frustration tolerance is low, and they often quit when they feel overwhelmed.
Avoid Flattery
You don’t have to constantly compliment your teen—it can feel smothering. Just avoid being negative. If your teen is struggling or making poor choices, talk with them kindly but firmly. Give appropriate consequences if they continue to disobey you. Never affirm bad decisions. They need honesty and support more than flattery.
Positive Parenting for Teens: Reinforce What’s Going Well
Be patient. Look for small wins and praise them for it. Try to avoid nitpicking, and make an effort to notice and acknowledge what your teen is doing well in a balanced, supportive way. When you highlight what your teen is doing right, you’re likely to see more of it.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Teenage Depression often manifests as irritability. Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Understanding Major Depressive Disorder in Teens
Major Depressive Disorder is a lot more serious than most people realize. I often hear teens and parents come in to my therapy office saying someone’s depressed, but meeting the full diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder in teens is less common. In this post I will be discussing how to recognize Major Depressive Disorder in teens and what to do about it.
Depression Looks Different in Teens
Major Depressive Disorder in teens doesn’t always look like it does in adults. This can make it a little harder to spot.
How It Looks the Same
Some symptoms are similar, like crying a lot, sleeping too much (or not at all), losing interest in things they used to love, or feeling hopeless. But there are other signs that are way easier to miss.
How it Looks Different
Instead of low energy, teens often show a lot of irritability. We’re not just talking about normal teenage moodiness either. This kind of irritability can seem extreme and irrational. When it’s paired with things like falling grades, pulling away from friends, or feeling hopeless, it’s time to pay attention.
When to Get Your Teen Evaluated
If your teen seems more irritable than usual and it lasts for more than two weeks, it’s a good idea to have them evaluated by a mental health professional. And if your teen ever says they want to die or mentions suicidal thoughts—don’t wait two weeks. Get your teen evaluated right away. A lot of teens say these things for attention, but take it seriously. It’s always better to be cautious.
Anxiety and Major Depressive Disorder in Teens Often Go Together
Another tricky thing about Major Depressive Disorder in teens is that it often comes with anxiety. Many teens who are feeling depressed also get overwhelmed and nervous more easily. They might start avoiding situations they used to handle just fine. That nervous energy is part of the bigger emotional picture.
How You Can Help Your Teen with Major Depressive Disorder
So what can you do? First, sit down with your teen for a real, honest talk. Ask if something’s been bothering them. Be ready—they might bring up school stress, mean friends, or even ways they feel hurt by you. It’s okay. Try to listen without jumping in to fix it for them or to defend yourself.
Teens See Things Differently
And remember: teens often see the world differently than adults. They might take things personally that aren’t actually about them. For example, if you’ve been stressed at work and therefore more short-tempered, they might think you’re mad at them. Gently help them see a bigger picture without brushing off their feelings.
Keep Checking In
After your heart-to-heart, watch your teen for a few days. If they don’t seem any better, check in again. Let them know it’s okay to talk to a therapist, and offer to help them find someone. You’d be surprised how many teens secretly want someone to talk to but don’t know how to ask for it.
Quick Takeaways on Major Depressive Disorder in Teens
1.Major depression in teens is a real and serious emotional disorder.
2. Don’t assume it’s just for attention—if your teen seems off, pay attention.
3. Take all comments about suicide seriously, every time.
4. Talk with your teen and get help if things don’t improve.
5. Depression doesn’t mean failure—for your teen or for you as a parent.
You Got This
Major Depressive Disorder in teens is a hard thing to deal with. If your not sure if your teen is suffering from this, continue to check in with them. If they don’t improve, seek professional help, and if they mention suicide, talk to a professional right away. Otherwise, just be there for your teen, and you will get through it together.
Hello, I’m Lauren! If you notice your teen struggling, you might be feeling helpless, hopeless, frustrated or concerned as a parent. Try to remember, there is hope. I want to help your adolescent feel better. My hope is for them to enjoy their life again. I want them to feel confident they can handle whatever situations arise.
