by Lauren Goodman | May 20, 2026 | Therapy For Young Adults
Understanding Abusive Teen Dating Relationships
It’s scary, but true. Sometimes teenagers end up in abusive teen dating relationships. Most parents tell their kids that if someone ever hurts them physically, the relationship should end immediately. The hard part is that teens often believe the other person will change.
Why Teens Stay in Abusive Teen Dating Relationships
I once worked with a client who struggled with this very issue. Her boyfriend repeatedly promised he would change after hurting her, but the behavior continued.
Eventually, she ended the relationship. Even then, she still tried to protect him. She felt ashamed that she had allowed things to go on for so long, and she didn’t want her parents to hate him. This is one reason abusive teen dating relationships can be so confusing. Teens usually care deeply about the person hurting them.
The Progression of Abusive Relationships
It’s easy to judge these situations from the outside. Many parents assume their teen would never end up in an abusive relationship. The reality is that abuse usually does not begin suddenly. Often, it starts with a relationship that feels intense and exciting. The other person wants to spend all their time with your teenager. At first, this can feel flattering.
Over time, though, things begin to change. The boyfriend or girlfriend may become upset when your teen spends time with friends. Slowly, your teenager may begin pulling away from other relationships. Next, there come some very intense arguments. However, most of the time the relationship still seems really good. That’s what makes abusive teen dating relationships difficult to recognize at first.
When abuse happens for the first time, both teens are often shocked. They both truly believe it will never happen again. Afterward, things may even feel very loving for a while. However, after a period of happiness the abuse happens again. Meanwhile, your teenager may feel isolated from friends and emotionally dependent on the relationship. Most begin believing they would be completely alone without the other person.
Signs of Abusive Teen Dating Relationships
As a parent, there are several warning signs you can watch for.
- Your teenager stops spending time with friends
- Their moods suddenly change
- They seem more withdrawn or isolated
- Their relationship has very intense highs and lows
- You notice they have frequent arguments followed by apologies
- Your teen becomes secretive about the relationship
- You notice unexplained bruises or injuries
While bruises can happen from sports or accidents, repeated injuries should always be taken seriously.
How Parents Can Help
One of the best things parents can do is stay involved and aware. Encourage your teenager to maintain healthy friendships and spend time with people outside the relationship. Group settings can also help reduce isolation.
Pay attention to changes in your teen’s mood and behavior. If your teenager suddenly seems withdrawn, anxious, or disconnected, it’s worth gently exploring whether the dating relationship could be part of the problem.
Being Aware
Being a parent can feel frightening sometimes. I don’t say this to create fear, but to raise awareness. Abusive teen dating relationships do exist, and they often develop slowly over time. The earlier parents recognize the warning signs, the easier it is to step in and help.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | May 18, 2026 | Therapy For Young Adults
What Is EMDR: Local Orange County EMDR Therapy
Many people who experience trauma feel like their minds keep replaying painful memories over and over again. Even when they want to move forward, the brain can get stuck returning to the same upsetting thoughts, emotions, or images. This can happen after major trauma, but it can also happen after difficult life experiences that continue to affect a person emotionally. EMDR therapy helps the brain process painful memories in a healthier way so they no longer feel overwhelming. At Teen Therapy OC, we are happy to provide Orange County-based EMDR therapy to help you move past trauma and reclaim connection and joy.
How Trauma Affects the Brain
When something traumatic happens, the brain sometimes struggles to fully process the experience. Instead of storing the memory away like a normal memory, the brain keeps reacting to it as if the danger is still happening.
This can lead to:
- Anxiety
- Panic attacks
- Nightmares
- Emotional overwhelm
- Feeling constantly on edge
- Trouble concentrating
- Depression
- Flashbacks
Many people feel frustrated because they know the traumatic event is over, but their brain and body still react strongly to it.
What EMDR Therapy Can Help Treat
EMDR therapy is most commonly used to treat trauma and PTSD. However, it can also help with many other struggles. EMDR therapy may help people dealing with:
- Childhood trauma
- Anxiety
- Panic attacks
- Depression
- Grief
- Abuse
- Car accidents
- Medical trauma
- Phobias
- Low self-esteem
- Stressful life experiences
How EMDR Therapy Works
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. During EMDR therapy, a person briefly focuses on difficult memories while also using guided eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation. This helps the brain begin processing the memory differently.
One simple way to think about it is this: trauma can cause the brain to keep traveling down the same painful pathway again and again. EMDR therapy helps the brain create new pathways so the memory no longer feels as emotionally intense. The goal is not to erase the memory. The goal is to help the brain store the memory in a healthier way so it no longer controls a person’s daily life.
Finding Joy After Trauma
Many people who are struggling with trauma feel exhausted from constantly reliving painful experiences. However, after successful treatment, people often notice they can think about the past without feeling emotionally overwhelmed. They feel calmer, safer, and more present in their daily lives.
Healing from trauma takes time, but it is absolutely possible. Instead of feeling trapped by trauma, you can find joy, connection, peace, and hope again.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Carrie Johnson, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Apr 30, 2026 | Eating Disorder Therapy
Understanding Teen Girl Body Image Issues
Are you worried your daughter is overly concerned with her weight? You’re not alone. Teen girl body image issues are more common than most parents realize. Studies show that teenage girls are dissatisfied with their bodies at rates from 50-90%. It’s heartbreaking to see so many girls feel stuck wishing they looked different.
When Teen Girl Body Image Issues Go Beyond Normal
There is a big difference between teens who don’t love their bodies and those who take it a step further. Some girls may not like what they see, but they still wear swimsuits, eat normally, exercise in a healthy way, and don’t talk negatively about themselves very often.
Other girls are frequently dieting or exercising, avoiding certain clothes, and feeling very self-conscious. This is when negative body image can start to take over.
A Real Life Example
I had a college roommate who was beautiful and very fit. We went to school in Tucson, Arizona, where it was extremely hot at the start of the school year. Still, I never once saw her wear anything but pants. When I asked her why, she told me her legs looked fat and would never look as good as they did when she was a ballerina in high school. Because of this, she made a rule that she could never show her legs. Over time, she created more and more rules for herself until she felt trapped. Eventually, this turned into anorexia. It was heartbreaking to watch.
Signs of Teen Girl Body Image Issues to Watch For
If you’re worried about your daughter, it’s worth paying attention. Here are some signs that she may be developing an eating disorder:
- Your daughter cuts out certain foods, like carbs.
- She refuses to wear a swimsuit in front of others.
- She talks about food constantly.
- She compares her body to other girls or women often.
- She is always dieting or following strict exercise routines.
- She uses calorie-counting or fitness tracking apps.
What to Do About Teen Girl Body Image Issues
If you notice these behaviors, it’s time to start a conversation. These patterns can quickly grow into something more serious. I know this personally. I struggled with an eating disorder from age 15 to 22. That’s seven years spent focusing on weight and fitness instead of enjoying friends and learning. I don’t want your teen to have to experience the same thing.
How You Can Help
I work with many teens who are unhappy with how they look. Some develop eating disorders, while others are close to it.
Two things often help at the start:
- Realizing that there are many other people who feel the same way they do
- They begin to see that there is much more to who they are than their appearance
Healing body image issues takes time, but these are important first steps you can help your teen take.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Apr 30, 2026 | Christian Counseling
Understanding the Challenges Christian Teens Face Today
Because my Christian faith is such an important part of my life, I often work with teens and families looking for faith-based therapy. Over the years, I’ve seen some consistent challenges Christian teens face today. Today, I want to speak directly to Christian teenagers who are trying to live out their faith in a difficult world.
Common Challenges Christian Teens Face
1. Maintaining Integrity
You are called to live with a high level of integrity. That often means you may not always come in first place. While other students may cheat on tests or homework, you are trying not to live that way. This is one of the biggest challenges Christian teens (and adults) face.
You may give in sometimes. I did several times in high school. But even if you get the grade you wanted, it usually doesn’t feel good. Guilt often follows, and owning your mistake can be even harder.
2. Judgment from Peers
You are also trying to follow the moral and emotional guidance of Christ. Today, some Christian beliefs are not popular in culture. Because of that, you may deal with teasing, judgment, or hurtful comments from peers. While many teens do not face physical persecution, they may still be called names or treated unfairly.
That happened to me in high school too. I was called things like naive, and even names that were completely false and extreme. It hurt deeply because I was trying to live in a loving way toward others.
3. Social Pressure
Another challenge many face is the temptation to behave badly in order to fit in with non-Christian friends. Some friends may party, drink, lie to their parents, or be sexually active. It can be easy to go to youth group on Sunday and still join in with unhealthy choices during the week.
In high school, I had one foot in my faith and one foot in the party scene. I told myself I wasn’t the worst one there. I rarely drank and often chose to be the designated driver. But I was still lying to my parents and putting myself in situations that tempted me. I know many Christian teenagers who feel pulled in two directions the same way. It can be hard to keep friendships if you never join in with what others are doing. That is one reason this road can feel so challenging.
How to Handle the Challenges Christian Teens Face
One of the most important things you can do is stay connected to God daily. Read your Bible regularly, pray, and stay involved in a small group. When you do these things, the desires of your heart are more likely to line up with Christ.
That makes it much easier to follow Him than trying to be a “good kid” through willpower alone. John 15:5 says, “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing” (NKJV). Without a real connection to Jesus, faith can start to feel like a list of rules instead of a relationship built on love.
Staying Strong
If you are a Christian teenager trying to stay strong, remember this: you are not alone, and your struggle has purpose. Keep walking with God, even when it feels hard. Growth often happens right in the middle of the challenge.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT connection,
by Lauren Goodman | Apr 17, 2026 | Parenting Techniques
How to Build Confidence in Teens Through the Parent Relationship
Figuring out how to build confidence in teens can be challenging. One of the main places teens gain confidence is through their relationship with their parents. When a parent does too much for a teen, it can actually hurt their ability to believe in themselves.
How to Build Confidence in Teens by Letting Them Do More
I’ve worked with many families where this happens. A mom or dad loves their child so deeply that they can’t stand to see them struggle or get hurt. So, they step in and help with everything. They help them study for tests, arrange private lessons for sports, give them a car at 16, or buy their teen whatever clothes are in style. While this comes from love, it can actually hurt the teenager in the long run.
What Happens When Parents Do Too Much
I see this often in my office. A teenager feels frustrated with one or both parents. When we talk about why, the teen says they aren’t allowed to do anything for themselves. They often see the constant help as condescending or as a sign their parents don’t believe in them. When this happens, it blocks you from building confidence in your teen.
A Real Life Example of This
One girl told me that when her mom asked if she studied for her math test, she took it to mean her mom didn’t trust her to handle it. But when I spoke with the mom, she explained that she was simply trying to help her daughter avoid feeling upset if she forgot to study. I encouraged the mom to let her daughter handle these things herself. That sends the message, “I believe you are capable.” Constant reminders can send the opposite message.
How to Build Confidence in Teens by Allowing Responsibility
Parents, if you’re not giving your teen responsibility that matches their age, you may accidentally be sending the message that you don’t believe in them. Nearly every parent who does this means well. They’re trying to make life easier and help their teen avoid painful consequences. But sometimes those consequences are exactly what help teens grow.
For example, say your teen waits until the last minute to start an essay and gets a low grade. That experience may teach a stronger lesson than constant reminders ever could. You can always offer to help them make a better plan next time. Just make sure it’s up to them to come to you for help after you’ve offered.
Exceptions
While allowing your teen to fail and then learn from the consequences can be a good thing, it’s important to know that this does not apply to every situation. If your teen is engaging in dangerous activities or experimenting with drugs or alcohol, it is not okay to hope they get hangover and decide not to it again. These are situations where intervention is vital.
Final Thoughts on How to Build Confidence in Teens
If you want your teenager to know you believe in them and to grow in confidence, give them room to do things on their own. Don’t be afraid of small failures. A small metaphorical scrape on the knees today can help prevent a broken leg in the future.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
