by Lauren Goodman | Jul 7, 2025 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
Why Positive Thinking for Teens Matters
Are you worried your teen is stuck in a negative mindset? Maybe they’re anxious about a project, a test, or an upcoming sports game. When teens focus too much on negative thoughts, it often makes their worries worse. This affects how they feel and behave leading to more stress and anxiety. Fortunately, positive thinking for teens can actually help break this cycle. This will benefit your teen in bigger ways than you might expect.
What Is the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy?
There’s an idea in psychology called the self-fulfilling prophecy. It means when someone expects something to happen, they often act in ways that make it come true without realizing it.
What This Looks Like
For example, Justin might say, “I’m going to play terribly in my soccer game.” Feeling that way, he might eat candy for comfort or warm up less because he’s distracted by fear. Then, he actually plays worse than usual, which just makes him more anxious next time.
How Positive Thinking for Teens Changes Outcomes
But this works in the opposite direction, too. Positive thinking can lead to better outcomes. When teens expect good results, they often behave more confidently, which lowers anxiety and improves how things turn out.
What This Looks Like
For example, Melissa decides to think positively about her math test. Because of that, she studies with more focus and confidence. She’s also kinder to her parents since she’s less distracted by stress. Her parents respond with encouragement instead of pressure, which reduces her anxiety and helps her do better on the test.
The Power of Positive Thinking in Teens
When teens believe they can accomplish a task, big or small, their mindset improves. This motivation helps them take the steps needed to succeed. While believing alone doesn’t guarantee success, it often leads to better results and less anxiety. Since teens tend to expect negative outcomes, teaching them to focus on positive possibilities can greatly boost their motivation and self-esteem while simultaneously reducing stress.
Encouraging Positive Thinking in Teens Every Day
Positive thinking doesn’t always come naturally—especially for teens. Life can feel overwhelming, and this can make it hard to think positively. However, you can encourage them to see positive thinking as a choice they can make each day. Set an example for your teen by thinking more positively yourself. Even small mindset shifts can reduce anxiety and build confidence over time.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Jun 23, 2025 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
What Teen School Anxiety Looks Like
School can be a major source of anxiety for teens. For many, the stress shows up in two big areas: social pressure and academic performance. For some teens, school can feel completely overwhelming. As summer or winter break starts to wrap up, they become very stressed and irritable. Sometimes teens will make up excuses, so they don’t have to go to school. Teen school anxiety is a real struggle for adolescents, and it’s important to do something about it.
10 Tips to Help With Teen School Anxiety
Instead of seeing school as a place to learn, your teen may start to view it as a place where they’re constantly judged. This can cause significant stress and anxiety. The good news is that there are simple, helpful ways to ease teen school anxiety. Here are 10 tips that can make a real difference:
1. Study Ahead—Not Just the Night Before
Spread studying out over the week leading up to a test. Cramming at the last minute only adds stress and leads to burnout. Besides, if you don’t do all your studying last minute you will actually retain information better!
2. Don’t Believe Every Negative Voice
If someone says something unkind, it doesn’t make it true. What your family and God think of you matters way more. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, pray and refocus.
3. Breathe Deep
When anxiety hits—especially during a test—take a few slow, deep breaths. It helps calm your body and your mind.
4. Talk About It: Discussing Teen School Anxiety
Always remember, you don’t have to deal with teen school anxiety alone. Talking to a trusted friend, parent, or counselor can bring real relief.
5. Choose Friends Who Lift You Up
Friends have a big influence on how you feel day to day. Surround yourself with people who encourage you and bring out your best. If you have kind friends you will likely feel a lot happier socially.
6. Build Relationships with Teachers
Just saying hi or asking a question after class can make teachers feel more approachable. This can also help you feel more comfortable in their class, a key element in defeating teen school anxiety.
7. Cut Back on Caffeine
Too much soda or coffee can make anxiety worse. If you’re tired, try going for a quick walk or doing a few jumping jacks instead. Exercise will wake you up too—without the nervous jitters that caffeine can cause.
8. Stretch Between Classes
A simple stretch between periods helps release physical tension and gives your brain a mini reset.
9. Don’t Forget to Smile
If you’re feeling socially anxious, you might walk around with your head down. Smiling—even a little—can make you more approachable and open the door to conversation.
10. Sleep Is a Game-Changer
Not getting enough sleep makes everything harder. Not having enough sleep makes teen school anxiety much, much worse. You probably have to get up early for school, so make it a habit to go to bed earlier.
Defeating Teen School Anxiety
Teen school anxiety is real, but with a few changes, your teen can feel calmer and more in control. Start with a couple of these tips, and build from there—progress matters more than perfection.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Jun 22, 2025 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
Common Things Teens Worry About
You might wonder what your teenager is worried about these days. Of course, it varies from person to person, but here’s a run-down of the most common concerns I hear in my therapy sessions with teens. Understanding what teens worry about can help you connect with your child and support them more effectively.
1. Teens Worry About Parents’ Approval
Teens care deeply about what their parents think of them—even if they act like they don’t. Approval, praise, and support from you go a long way. Even when they push you away or seem distant, they’re watching and listening. They want to know they’re making you proud. This is something teens worry about, no matter how often they act like they don’t.
2. What Friends Think of Them
Adolescents are often consumed by worries about fitting in and being liked. It’s hard for them to see how little this will matter later in life. Right now, their world revolves around friendships, popularity, and social media. Fear of rejection or exclusion weighs heavily on them.
3. Keeping Up With Schoolwork
School stress is a huge part of what teens worry about. Some are worried about passing classes, while others stress over perfect grades. Many feel buried under the pressure to perform, and it’s easy for them to get overwhelmed. Even highly motivated teens can burn out.
4. Teens Worry If Their Family Is Okay
If something is off in their family, it becomes a huge part of what teens worry about. Even if teens don’t say it, they care deeply about their families. When parents argue, talk about financial stress, illness, or major life changes, teens pick up on it. Usually, teens don’t know how to talk about it. However, when the people they count on for safety seem upset or unstable, it makes them feel anxious.
5. Teens Worry About Their Future
With so many paths to choose from, it’s easy for teens to feel lost. They’ve heard all their lives that they can be anything—but choosing one thing can feel overwhelming. Thoughts about college, careers, and growing up bring on stress. They wonder, “What if I can’t do it? What if I fail?” These big questions are a big part of what teens worry about.
How to Help With What Teens Worry About
Teens have a lot on their minds, and the pressure to succeed—socially, academically, and personally—can feel overwhelming. As a parent or caring adult, your presence, empathy, and willingness to listen go a long way. When you understand what teens worry about, you can help them feel supported, safe, and capable of handling whatever comes their way.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Jun 18, 2025 | Parenting Techniques
Why Father-Daughter Relationships Matter
Dads, your teenage daughter needs you more than ever. It might feel like she’s distant or uninterested — busy with friends, school, and growing independence. Maybe she even acts rude or shuts you out. But deep down, she still needs you. Often, she’s closer with her mom, sharing secrets and feelings. But don’t forget strong father-daughter relationships are vital during these years.
What Makes Father-Daughter Relationships Important
Here’s why strong father-daughter relationships matter:
1. She Wants to Know She’s Valuable
You show your daughter her worth by simply telling her she is loved and valuable. It can feel awkward when your little girl starts to look like a young woman—society’s fears about adult men and teen girls create invisible barriers. But your affectionate, respectful attention reassures her she’s important and loved. This helps her feel secure and valued, so she doesn’t have to seek it elsewhere. This is one of many reasons why father-daughter relationships matter far more than you may believe.
2. She Needs to Feel Attractive
Your daughter is starting to notice who fits in and who doesn’t. Her biggest fear? Not measuring up. When you genuinely see her beauty and compliment her regularly, you give her a confidence boost that lasts a lifetime. It doesn’t have to be complicated. If you see that she is dressed nicely a particular day, tell her so. Simple compliments like this make a huge difference. Your words help shape how she sees herself. This is an important reason why father-daughter relationships matter.
3. She Needs to Feel Safe
Setting rules and limits isn’t about control—it’s about protection. Your daughter might resist, but boundaries show her you treasure her safety. Whether it’s telling her not to be alone with boys or to think twice before sharing photos online, you’re guarding her innocence and teaching her to protect her heart and body.
4. She Needs to Feel Cherished
Teenage girls want to feel like they matter, that they’re at the center of someone’s world. When your daughter knows she’s a big part of yours, she feels secure and cherished. This boosts her self-esteem and helps her navigate life’s challenges. This is another key reason that father-daughter relationships are so important.
5. She Needs to Feel Successful
Your daughter wants to feel like she is successful and making you proud. If your teen makes good grades, that’s wonderful! Celebrate her academic successes with her. However, if school isn’t what she’s naturally good at, appreciate what she is good at. Grades are important, but they’re not everything. Help her discover and develop other talents. Most importantly, make sure she knows you’re proud of her.
The Power Of Father-Daughter Relationships
Dads, your love, approval, and encouragement lay the foundation your daughter will stand on for life. Father-daughter relationships are powerful—embrace the role you have.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Jun 18, 2025 | Christian Counseling
Why There Are Benefits of Church Attendance For Teens
I’ve spent years counseling teens aged 12 to 24 and noticed some common traits they all share. These truths highlight why the benefits of church for teens are so important. Here are a few key traits:
1. They’re trying to figure out who they are.
2. It’s tough for them to think beyond themselves.
3. Friends have a massive impact.
4. Their core values are being shaped right now.
5. Teens tend to become like the friends they spend the most time with.
What Are The Benefits of Church For Teens?
So, why do these facts about teens make church so important? Let’s explore this point by point.
Teens Are Trying to Find An Identity
A major benefit of church for teens is building a strong, healthy identity. Teens often build their identity around things like parties, popularity, or their appearance. Others get so wrapped up in being accepted into a great college that other, more important things take a backseat. But when their identity is grounded in God, they start to see their worth in a deeper way. Church helps teens realize God loves them, and their self-esteem increases when they understand this. They no longer feel they have to be the prettiest, strongest, or fastest to be important and accepted. They care less about the Friday night scene and more about the bigger picture.
Church Helps Them Focus On Helping Others
Teens tend to put their own needs first. When they’re in a youth group or small group people constantly challenge them to prioritize others. The pastor, adult leaders, and even other teens encourage them to care for others, think bigger, and take action. It’s a powerful shift away from the “me-first” mindset that’s so common at this age. This is an important benefit of church for teens.
Church Helps Them Find Better Friends
Let’s be real. Teens fall heavily under their friends’ influence. Would you rather they hang out with kids who are constantly partying or kids talking about their faith, goals, and serving others? Church doesn’t guarantee perfect friends, but it definitely ups the chances of finding positive influences.
This Is When Their Character Gets Built
When teens have too much freedom, they often test limits. Not because they’re bad, but because they don’t want rules getting in the way of fun. The problem? Habits like lying or sneaking around can stick. But teens who spend time in church are more likely to build character traits like honesty, kindness, and humility, and those last way beyond the teen years. Building good character is a key benefit of church for teens.
Big Dreams Come from Positive Influences
Teens usually aim for whatever their friend group is aiming for. If everyone’s slacking off and doing the bare minimum, your teen probably will too. But if they’re surrounded by friends who are talking about their goals, faith, and making a difference, your teen is way more likely to be motivated.
The Benefits of Church for Teens Are Real
According to a collaborative research paper written by Drs. Waite and Lehrer, studies show that children from Christian families tend to have stronger relationships with their parents. Research also links religious involvement to lower rates of addiction, depression, and delinquency. Children who grew up involved in a religion also tend to have more positive views on marriage, parenting, and sexual boundaries. The benefits of church for teens are real, not just someone’s opinion.
Church Is Worth The Effort
Even if it doesn’t always feel fun dragging everyone to church, it pays off. You’re building habits that lead to a stronger moral compass, more compassion, and better decision-making. The benefits of church for teens are real, and they last a lifetime. So go ahead—plant that seed. Your teen (and your whole family) will thank you later.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
