by Lauren Goodman | Mar 26, 2025 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
Do you ever feel like social media is making your teen more upset than happy? Maybe you’ve thought about taking it away completely. Or maybe you’re just frustrated by how much time they spend scrolling. Teen social media use is tough to manage. We can’t follow the example our parents set for managing our own social media use because social media didn’t exist yet. So, how do you handle your teen’s social media use?
Many of my clients take social media posts personally—even when the person who posted the message didn’t mean it that way. They stress over how fast someone responds, who liked their post, or if a friend’s comment has some hidden meaning. Teens can dissolve into tears over a post because they misunderstood what it meant.
Just taking social media away probably won’t work. Instead, we have to teach our kids how to manage what they post, how much time they spend on it, and how to handle what others say online. Below, you’ll find three important things to teach your teen about social media.
Encourage Responsible Posting
It’s important to teach your teen how to post responsibly. Instead of just giving a lecture, work with them. They might not love it, but that’s okay—you’re the parent! There are plenty of things we have to do for our kids that they don’t appreciate at the time, but later, they’re thankful. When they apply for a job one day, they’ll be relieved they never posted something that could cause a business to refuse to give them a job.
Dangers of Passive Aggressive Posting
Also, help them understand the dangers of being passive-aggressive online. A lot of teens post general comments that are clearly aimed at one person. This leads to drama, arguments, and hurt feelings.
What if your teen is on the receiving end of social media drama? The best approach is to confront the person directly (and privately) in person. Texting confrontations rarely go well—the teens who receive those messages often screenshot and share them. A face-to-face conversation makes it more likely that the other person will understand your teen isn’t being hostile. Plus, they can pick up on tone and facial expressions, which makes a huge difference.
Social media has its positives and negatives. It helps teens stay connected and keep up with old friends. But it’s important to remember that social media is a highlight reel—it doesn’t show what’s really going on in someone’s life. Many teens take posts at face value and end up feeling left out or hurt. Others use it as a tool for bullying or passive-aggressive behavior. That’s why it’s so important to stay involved in your teen’s social media use. By guiding your teen, you can help them develop good social media habits. Teaching your teen to use social media well is something that will benefit them for years to come.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Mar 26, 2025 | Teen Addiction
What Parents Need to Know About Teens and Alcohol
Every parent worries about it—your teen says they’re going one place, but they actually go to at a party. And sometimes, you don’t find out what’s really going on until you get a call from the hospital saying your teen drank way too much and is receiving medical help. As a therapist for teens, I see a lot of kids dealing with alcohol-related problems. It’s important for parents to be aware of these issues. Here are some of the biggest ones:
1. Lying About Drinking
Most teens won’t tell you the full truth about their drinking. They might downplay it or leave out key details to avoid getting in trouble. They might not tell you they’ve been drinking at all.
2. Higher Risk of Sexual Assault
I’ve worked with countless teens who have been sexually assaulted, and alcohol is involved in almost every case. While most victims are female, it happens to males too. Drinking lowers their ability to recognize unsafe situations, making it easier for someone (usually drunk as well) to take advantage of them.
3. Teens Stealing Alcohol
Since teens can’t legally buy alcohol, they often steal it—usually from their parents’ liquor cabinet or fridge. Some even take it from stores.
4. Teen Driving Under the Influence of Alcohol
You’ve probably told your teen never to drink and drive. Maybe they promised to call you for a ride if they ever needed one. But in reality, teens often end up riding with someone who’s been drinking. Sometimes, they’re the one driving. Some even think it’s safe if the driver “only smoked weed.”
5. Trying Other Drugs
Alcohol lowers inhibitions, making it easier for teens to say yes to other substances. A few drinks in, and they may experiment with drugs they’d normally avoid.
6. Risky Sexual Choices
Not all situations are assault—sometimes, teens just make choices they wouldn’t if they were sober. Drinking makes them more likely to hook up with people they barely know, leading to regret later.
7. Bad Judgment About Safety
When drinking, teens may get into cars with strangers, go to unfamiliar places, or trust people they shouldn’t. When teens drink alcohol, their ability to assess risk is lowered.
8. Ignoring Serious Problems
This problem is one of the scariest of all the issues too much drinking causes. Teens tell me things like, “My friend was super wasted. She wasn’t moving much, but I took care of her. It was fine.” This is definitely not fine. This friend likely had alcohol poisoning, but no one wanted to call for help because they were afraid of getting in trouble. People may not have even realized there was a problem. Like I said, too much alcohol fogs judgement.
9. Fear of Getting in Trouble
Teens won’t always ask for help in dangerous situations because they’re scared of the consequences. They don’t want their parents, teachers, or coaches to find out they were drinking—even if they really need some help.
10. Fights and Aggression When Teens Have too Much Alcohol
Alcohol raises testosterone levels in males, making them more aggressive. Drunken fights happen way more often than you’d think, and they can lead to serious injuries—or worse.
How You Can Help as a Parent
Your teen may not tell you everything, but they’re always watching your actions. Set a good example with alcohol, talk to them openly, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries. If you know they’ve been partying and you need more advice, give me a call. They might roll their eyes or get angry, but they need your guidance.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Mar 20, 2025 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
Questions People Have About OCD in Teens
OCD in teens can be exhausting and overwhelming. It’s heartbreaking to watch your teen struggle with obsessive thoughts and feel trapped in rituals they can’t control. You want to help, but you might not know how. In this post, I’ll answer some of the most common questions about OCD. Whether you’re a parent watching your teen struggle or a teen dealing with OCD yourself, this post is for you.
What Does OCD Mean?
OCD stands for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. It causes overwhelming anxiety, usually about things that aren’t likely to happen. To get rid of the anxiety, a person feels like they have to do certain rituals—like washing their hands over and over, checking things repeatedly, or arranging items a certain way. The problem is, the relief doesn’t last, and the cycle starts again.
What Are Some Common OCD Behaviors?
OCD can look different for everyone, but here are some common patterns:
- Fear of contamination – Feeling gross after touching something (usually a specific object) and needing to wash over and over.
- Need for symmetry – Feeling anxious if things aren’t lined up just right.
- Intrusive thoughts – Scary or upsetting thoughts that won’t go away, like imagining a house fire and needing to check the stove multiple times.
- Compulsive checking – Repeatedly making sure doors are locked, the oven is off, or homework is just right before turning it in.
If your teen seems trapped in a pattern of obsessive thoughts and compulsions, they may be dealing with OCD.
How Do You Manage OCD in Teens?
The good news? OCD is treatable. The best approach includes therapy, and in some cases, medication. Here’s what treatment usually looks like:
- Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP): This therapy helps teens face their fears step by step without doing the compulsions. For example, if a teen has contamination OCD, they might practice touching something “dirty” without washing their hands right away. Over time, their anxiety lessens.
- Medication: Some teens benefit from medication, but not all need it. A psychiatrist can help determine if it’s a good option.
Supporting Your Teen
Living with OCD can be tough, making school, friendships, and everyday life feel overwhelming. But with the right help, teens can learn to manage their OCD and feel more in control. If your teen is struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Help is available, and they don’t have to face this alone.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Mar 19, 2025 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
Why Managing Anxiety in Teens is Important
Feeling panicked is the worst. Your stomach clenches, you gasp for breath, your thoughts are racing, you have a tight feeling in your chest and throat, and it feels like you’re drowning. Sometimes anxiety hits before a big test or a speech, but for some people, it’s always there. If your teen constantly seems stressed, panicky, or overwhelmed, it can be heartbreaking to watch—especially when you don’t know how to help. How do you help your teen when their panic makes them unreachable? In this post, you’ll find 5 tips for managing anxiety in teens.
5 Tips for Managing Anxiety in Teens
These tips won’t completely erase anxiety (and they shouldn’t—some anxiety is actually helpful for motivation and alerting a person to a potential problem), but they can bring it down to a manageable level. The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety altogether; it’s to make sure it doesn’t take over.
1. Practice Mindfulness
Being mindful just means paying attention to the present moment. Notice the sights, sounds, and feelings around you. Encourage your teen to focus on small details—like how the sun feels on their skin or the sound of birds outside. This can help pull them out of their anxious thoughts, even if just for a moment. This is a useful step when managing anxiety in teens.
2. Challenge Negative Thoughts
Anxiety often makes us imagine the worst-case scenario. Your teen might assume they’ll fail a test, but if they’ve been paying attention in class and studying, that’s probably not true. Teach them to check the facts and remind themselves of the truth.
3. Exercise
Exercise is a natural stress reliever. When we move our bodies, our brains release chemicals that help us feel calm. Whether it’s a walk, a sport, or dancing in their room, encourage your teen to get activity to help manage their anxiety.
4. Find a Distraction
Focusing on something engaging—like playing an instrument, reading, or talking to a friend—can give their brain a break from anxious thoughts. Sometimes, just shifting their focus for a while can make a big difference.
5. Focus on What They Can Control
A lot of anxiety comes from worrying about things we can’t change. Help your teen recognize what’s in their control and what’s not. If they have a big test, they can study (that’s in their control), but stressing over the grade afterward won’t change the outcome. Letting go of what they can’t control is a huge step in managing anxiety in teens.
Supporting Your Teen Through Anxiety
Anxiety can be frustrating and exhausting, both for teens and for parents. The best thing you can do is show empathy, remind them of these strategies, and encourage them to keep practicing. It might take time, but with support, they can learn to manage their anxiety in a healthy way.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT,
by Lauren Goodman | Mar 8, 2025 | Parenting Techniques
8 Tips On Parenting Your Teens After a Divorce
Parenting after a divorce is really tough. Especially if you have teens. It’s a huge adjustment for you and your kids, and things don’t always go smoothly. Here are 8 tips to help make things a little easier:
1. Focus on Your Own Household
You’re in charge of what happens at your house. It’s great if you and your ex can agree on parenting rules, but if not, don’t stress about what goes on at their place. There’s nothing you can do about it, so why worry? Just do what’s best for your kids when they’re with you.
2. Speak Kindly About Other Adults
Even if your ex remarried someone neither you or your kids like, don’t badmouth them in front of your children. It just makes things harder for your teen. They didn’t choose who their other parent brings around, so help them make the best of it. This is a key part of parenting after a divorce.
3. Don’t Feel Guilty About Money
Money can be a tricky topic after divorce. Maybe you have more money than your ex, or maybe they have more than you. Either way, don’t let guilt control how you handle finances. Stick to the agreement you made and don’t feel pressured to overspend. If your teen complains or compares, calmly explain the arrangement and remind them that love isn’t measured by money.
4. Don’t Stop Spending Time with Your Kids
Even if your teen doesn’t seem excited to see you, don’t stop showing up. Teens act like they don’t care, but deep down, they want to know you’ll fight for them. Stay consistent and make the most of your time together. Spending quality time with your teen is a vital part of parenting after a divorce.
5. Let Them Adjust to Your New Family
If you’ve remarried, don’t force your child to love their stepparent or stepsiblings. Be patient and let relationships develop naturally. Make sure they’re polite and respectful to everyone in the home, but don’t make them pretend everything’s perfect.
6. Make One-on-One Time a Priority When Parenting After a Divorce
When you’re parenting after a divorce, you can feel like you’re being pulled in a million directions. Don’t let this stop you from spending one-on-one time with your teens. Your time with your child is already split in half. Be sure to carve out moments where it’s just you and them—no new spouse, no step-kids, no distractions. They need to feel like they still have their own special relationship with you.
7. Be a Good Role Model
Make sure you’re still setting a good example for your teen. I know you’re going through a lot, but this is when they need you the most. Show them what it looks like to handle tough times with strength and responsibility. They’re paying attention to how you handle stress and big changes, so be someone they can respect. And don’t try to hide bad habits—teens notice way more than most people think.
8. Remember That Divorce Is Tough for Them
Even if your teen says they’re fine or they act like they don’t care, divorce is tough on kids. Give them extra patience and grace. They didn’t ask for this, and it takes time to adjust. This doesn’t mean you should excuse bad behavior, especially if your teen is doing something dangerous. However, if your teen is in a bad mood or got a bad grade on a test, understand that it’s been tough for them lately.
Stay Consistent and Patient When Parenting After a Divorce
Family life isn’t perfect, and parenting after a divorce can feel overwhelming. But if you stay consistent, loving, and patient, your child will know they can always count on you—no matter what. If you need any extra support for you and your teen, don’t hesitate to give me a call.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
