SERVING CALIFORNIA TEENS & FAMILIES         

COUNSELING FOR TEENS  |  

(949) 394-0607

 |  

Contact
Why Should Teens Volunteer?

Why Should Teens Volunteer?

Why Volunteering Matters for Teens

Volunteering has countless benefits, but for teenagers, it’s especially important. Many parents first think about how volunteering looks on a college application. While that can be helpful, the reasons why should teens volunteer go far beyond admissions. Volunteering supports healthy development, builds work ethic, and even benefits physical and emotional health. Research consistently shows that teens grow when they spend time helping others.

A Real-Life Example How Volunteering Helps Shift Focus

I think back to the time my family did something outside of our comfort zone. We hosted a pastor who was attending a conference at our local church. If I’m being honest, it was inconvenient. The kids slept on the floor, the house had to stay picked up, we made extra food, and bedtime was later than usual. Since at the time my younger child woke me up at 5:30 every morning, the later bedtime made a difference.

Even so, it turned out to be a really positive experience. Every member of our family benefited from being inconvenienced for someone else’s sake. We were exposed to a different way of living. This pastor lived with far fewer material comforts and focused more on caring for others than on his own convenience or safety. It was humbling and eye-opening, and it reminded us how powerful it can be to give something up for someone else. Volunteering can do the same for your teen.

How Volunteering Helps Teens Grow

When it comes to teenagers, getting outside their own comfort and concerns is incredibly healthy. Teens I’ve worked with who have been exposed to real need or poverty often show more gratitude and perspective. Teens who grow up more sheltered often never see what true poverty looks like. Because of this, they focus heavily on material things like image and brand names. This isn’t because they’re selfish but because they’ve had limited experiences.

Volunteering helps teens gain perspective and see beyond their own small circle.

Volunteering Broadens Perspective

Teens who volunteer tend to work harder and care more deeply about something beyond themselves. They develop passion and purpose. They are less likely to see themselves as helpless or stuck. Instead, they learn that change is possible and that their actions matter. Volunteering can shift teens away from a victim mindset and toward empowerment.

Helping Your Teen Choose Meaningful Volunteer Work

The takeaway is simple: your teen benefits greatly from learning selflessness. One of the best ways to do that is through volunteering for a cause that truly matters. Encourage your teen to choose something meaningful, not just an activity that checks a box or fills required hours for college. When teens care about the cause, the impact is deeper and longer-lasting.


Helping teens grow and families improve connection,

Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT

The Pressure of Youth Sports on Teens

The Pressure of Youth Sports on Teens

When Sports Stop Feeling Like Fun

Depending on where you live, this may or may not be relevant. But here in Orange County, California, youth sports are intense. It’s tough to make the Little League All-Star team. Club soccer can feel like a full-time job. Some high schools even recruit athletes from outside their district. Many parents have their kids in one, two, or even three competitive programs at the same time. There are private lessons, strength training, year-round leagues, and weekend tournaments. Families split up to attend different games. There’s travel. There’s pressure. And there’s always expense. Needless to say, the pressure of youth sports on teens can quickly get out of hand.

My Experience With the Pressure of Youth Sports on Teens

I played club soccer growing up, and it took up most weekends. When I wasn’t playing soccer, I was playing softball. In high school, I added field hockey. I also took honors and AP classes.

By the end of 10th grade, it all caught up with me. My body couldn’t handle 3–5 hours of sports a day plus a heavy academic load. After a long stretch of illness, I finally scaled back. I chose one sport. I reduced my AP classes. Some parents and friends thought I was making a huge mistake. They asked how I would ever get a college scholarship. But here’s the question we don’t ask enough.

Are We Adding to the Pressure of Youth Sports on Teens?

What is the goal? Is your child truly one of the tiny percentage who will play professionally? Do they love their sport so much that you couldn’t stop them from practicing extra even if you tried? Or are they tired? Complaining about practice? Struggling to finish homework? Wishing they had more time with friends?Sometimes we lose sight of the big picture.

Youth sports are meant to teach teamwork, discipline, perseverance, and resilience. They help kids build friendships and confidence. They give them exercise and a healthy outlet. But once a child shows talent or promise, things can shift quickly. Suddenly weekends are packed. Thousands of dollars are spent. Travel takes over family time. The fun quietly disappears.

The Hidden Impact of the Pressure of Youth Sports on Teens

Highly competitive sports can add real stress and anxiety to a teen’s life. They don’t always provide the relief we think they do. We’re also seeing more overuse injuries in adolescents—injuries that used to show up mainly in professional athletes. Some teens deal with lifelong pain because of damage done in middle school or high school. Out of my own friends who played collegiate sports, only three are injury-free today. Five live with chronic injuries. Four of those five have had surgery. One has had three.

That’s not a small cost.

Youth Sports in Moderation

This isn’t about condemning youth sports. Sports are wonderful. They build character and confidence. They create lasting memories. But they shouldn’t take priority over faith, family, academics, or physical health. If your teen is deeply involved in competitive athletics, pause and reflect. Consider their long-term health and their current stress level. Consider your family’s quality time together. When we step back and look at the whole picture, we’re usually able to make wise, balanced decisions.


Helping teens grow and families improve connection,

Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT

How Faith Helps with Addiction Recovery

How Faith Helps with Addiction Recovery

How Faith Helps with Addiction Recovery When Addiction Makes Life Feel Pointless

Does faith really matter when it comes to addiction recovery? In my experience, yes—very much so. While some people do get sober without faith, it’s not very common. Most people who truly heal end up putting their hope in something bigger than themselves, something that gives their life meaning again. Often, that something is God. This is how faith helps with addiction recovery.

When addiction has taken over, life without a high can feel dull, empty, or just not worth it. Getting sober is uncomfortable and often miserable at first. Faith can be what helps someone keep going when everything in them wants to give up.

Why Purpose Is So Important in Recovery

People don’t usually get sober just because they’re told they should. They need a reason. Believing you were created on purpose, and that your life still matters, can be powerful motivation. This is one of the ways faith helps with addiction recovery. It gives hope that life on the other side of addiction is meaningful, even when it isn’t easy.

Addiction is often about chasing good feelings and avoiding pain. Faith shifts the focus away from doing what makes you feel good in the moment and toward purpose. Following God doesn’t promise a pain-free life, but it does offer fulfillment. For many people, that difference changes everything.

How Faith Helps With Addiction Recovery Day to Day

When people talk about getting sober “through faith,” they’re usually talking about value and hope. Faith helps them believe they are more than their addiction and more than their past mistakes. Instead of living for the next high, they start living for something that lasts.

A faith-based recovery can also help people tolerate discomfort. Recovery isn’t comfortable. There are cravings, emotional lows, and hard truths to face. Having faith gives people a reason to sit with that discomfort instead of escaping it.

Faith and the Painful Parts of Change

Breaking free from addiction is exhausting. Detox can be brutal. Letting go of old friends, routines, and coping strategies can feel like losing everything at once. This level of change usually requires a complete shift in how someone sees themselves and the world.

This is likely why programs like Alcoholics Anonymous emphasize turning things over to God, and why so many people find healing in faith-based programs like Celebrate Recovery. These are just a few of many great faith-centered recovery programs. Faith provides something steady to hold onto when life feels chaotic.

Hold Onto Hope

If you or your teenager is stuck in the cycle of addiction, don’t lose hope. Faith doesn’t promise instant happiness, but it does offer meaning, love, and purpose, which is far more rewarding in the end than instant gratification. Many people discover through faith that they still have value and still have something to offer the world—even after addiction.

Helping teens grow and families improve connection,

Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT

Signs of Eating Disorders in Teens

Signs of Eating Disorders in Teens

Learning About Signs of Eating Disorders in Teens

Eating disorders are fairly common. You’ve likely heard of anorexia and bulimia nervosa. Binge eating disorder is another lesser known diagnosis. It shares many symptoms with bulimia but does not include compensatory (i.e. purging) behaviors. If you worry your child might have an eating disorder, it’s important to learn the signs of eating disorders in teens.

Types of Eating Disorders

To understand the signs of eating disorders in teens, it helps to know what each eating disorder looks like and how they are different from each other.

The three main types of eating disorders are anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder. There are two other types of eating disorders too, but they mostly serve as general categories for cases that don’t fit neatly into the main three.

Anorexia Nervosa

To be diagnosed with anorexia, a teen must maintain a weight well below healthy levels. Anorexic teens also have an intense fear of gaining weight and a distorted view of their body. Though past criteria for anorexia included loss of menstruation, that is no longer required. It is important to note that while anorexia is most common in girls, anorexia affects boys as well.

Bulimia Nervosa

Bulimia, like anorexia, is marked by a fear of gaining weight and a distorted body image. However, instead of being underweight, teens with bulimia are usually of normal weight or slightly above a healthy weight. They often binge eat when upset or hungry and then feel compelled to compensate through purging. Purging can include vomiting, laxatives, excessive exercise, or fasting.

Binge Eating Disorder

This disorder involves consuming large amounts of food in response to emotional triggers. Unlike bulimia, teens with binge eating disorder do not attempt to purge after overeating. However, like bulimia, teens with Binge Eating Disorder also have feelings of shame, guilt, and disgust after overeating.

Why Early Recognition of Signs of Eating Disorders in Teens Matters

Eating disorders are dangerous and need immediate attention. Anorexia can lead to life-threatening starvation, while bulimia can cause severe electrolyte imbalances and even death. Binge eating disorder can result in long-term health problems and emotional distress.

Getting Help for Your Teen

If you notice signs of eating disorders in your teen, take action quickly. Talk to your pediatrician and seek professional counseling. Your teen is still the same amazing person underneath it all, and with the right support, they can recover.


Helping teens grow and families improve connection,

Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT

Why Do Teens Self-Harm?

Why Do Teens Self-Harm?

Understanding Teen Self-Harm

Parents often find self-injury very hard to understand. It can be confusing and scary to think about how physical pain could feel like relief from emotional pain. Still, understanding why teens self-harm is an important first step toward helping them.

Why Teens Self-Harm

There are usually two reasons why teens harm themselves. One is a cry for attention. The other is to feel more in control. Both are dangerous and need to be addressed.

1. They Want Their Pain to Be Noticed

One reason teens self-harm is to be noticed. These teens are hurting on the inside but don’t know how to explain their pain with words. Cutting can become a way to show how bad they feel.

These teens usually cut on visible areas, like their arms, and continue wearing short sleeves. They wait to see how long it takes for a parent to notice or say something. This is serious and needs professional support. This means the teen struggles to communicate emotions in healthy, safe ways.

2. They Want to Feel Like They Can Control Their Pain

Another reason why teens harm themselves has to do with control. Some teens feel overwhelmed by intense emotions that seem to come out of nowhere. Their emotional pain feels unmanageable.

When a teen self-harms, they control when it happens, how long it lasts, and how visible it is. For teens who feel powerless over their emotions, this sense of control can feel calming. These teens usually try to hide their wounds and may cut in areas that are harder to see. Self-harm becomes their main coping tool, and they may resist stopping because they don’t trust that anyone can help them through the pain. In these cases, professional help is essential.

Risks of Teen Self-Harm

If you suspect your teen is self-harming, it’s important to act quickly. This behavior is a clear sign that your child is in deep emotional distress. Trying to handle it alone or hoping it will stop on its own can be dangerous.

Self-harm carries real medical risks, including infection or accidental serious injury. If teens use unclean tools to cut with or don’t properly care for their wounds, the cuts may become infected. In addition to this, even when a teen is not trying to end their life, if they cut too deeply they may sever an artery. Even if this does not happen, self-harm tells us that your teen is hurting and doesn’t yet have safe ways to cope.

What to Do if Your Teen Self-Harms

Your teen needs your love, support, and compassion—but they also need guidance from a trained professional. This is not an issue to be taken lightly. If you think your teen has self-harmed, please reach out. Helping them learn healthier ways to manage pain can make a life-changing difference.


Helping teens grow and families improve connection,

Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT