by Lauren Goodman | Sep 24, 2025 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
Understanding School Refusal in Teens
As a therapist working with teens, I often see cases of school refusal in teens. Some may attend school occasionally, but for parents it can feel like a constant uphill battle to get them there. While school refusal can come from different causes—like drug use, defiance, or anxiety—the most common factor I see is anxiety.
Why Anxiety Fuels School Refusal in Teens
Anxiety is an overwhelming fear of something that might happen in the future. Some teens worry about being judged by peers, while others fear failing tests or facing certain classes. For some, the dread of school feels unbearable. I worked with one teen who was bullied every day on the way to class. When he sought help from teachers, peers mocked him for being a “tattle tale.” His anxiety grew so intense that school itself became unmanageable, leading to school refusal.
What Parents Can Do About School Refusal in Teens
If your teen is refusing school, the first step is to uncover the root cause. School refusal isn’t just “I don’t feel like it”—there’s usually something deeper going on. Once you identify the trigger, sit down together and make a plan. If it’s anxiety-driven, helping your teen regain a sense of control over the situation can make a big difference.
If talking it through isn’t enough, connect with the school counselor or seek outside professional support. Teens usually can’t overcome school refusal on their own. Avoidance makes fears grow larger, but most young people don’t yet have the tools to push through what feels terrifying. Therapy helps teens face their fears and eventually get over them.
Walking the Line Between Comfort and Structure
Helping your teen through school refusal requires both compassion and firmness. You’ll need to be a source of comfort while also holding firm boundaries about attendance. It can be heartbreaking to send them when you know how awful it feels, but consistently allowing them to stay home only reinforces the cycle of fear.
Supporting Teens Through the Struggle
Sometimes loving your teen well means walking with them through emotional pain, not shielding them from it. With your support and consistency, they can learn to face their fears and slowly rebuild confidence.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Sep 24, 2025 | Christian Counseling
Finding Peace in the Struggle
Anxiety can feel overwhelming. It can make reaching goals, connecting with people, or just enjoying life feel impossible. Sometimes the fears don’t make sense to others—like feeling like a failure despite good grades, or thinking no one likes you even when surrounded by friends. However, this doesn’t make it any easier to manage. Thankfully, faith can help ease that anxiety and bring a real sense of peace.
How Faith Can Help With Anxiety
One of the most powerful ways to cope with anxiety is by leaning on your faith. Most major religions teach not to worry. Some even call worry a sin, reminding us to focus on something bigger than the immediate fear weighing us down.
Even if you don’t have a strong faith in God, there are valuable lessons from religion that can help ease anxiety. Pouring out your fears in prayer, or simply believing that something greater cares for you, can be comforting.
Finding Support
Joining a community of supportive people—such as a church or support group—can also bring encouragement and strength. Faith communities often break down the stigma around anxiety, offering a safe place to both give and receive support.
A Christian Perspective on Faith and Anxiety
From a Christian point of view, God wants you to remember that He will carry your burdens. Jesus already took on the punishment for our wrongs, so we have no reason to live in fear. We are never alone in painful times, because God does not abandon us. Remembering this truth brings peace, even in our darkest days. Christianity also emphasizes living in community—sharing sorrows and fears with others. Having people pray for you and walk alongside you makes life’s challenges far less overwhelming. God uses our faith to help defeat anxiety.
Psalm 28:8-9 reminds us: “God is all strength for his people, ample refuge for his chosen leader; Save your people and bless your heritage. Care for them; carry them like a good shepherd.” (The Message Translation).
Moving Beyond Anxiety
Facing your worries is never easy, but you don’t have to do it alone. When you rely on faith, prayer, and the support of others, you gain the strength and hope needed to move forward. Faith may not completely erase anxiety, but trusting God and leaning on others can help you find peace and strength.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Sep 19, 2025 | Teen Anxiety Therapy
When Teens Are Feeling Left Out
Being left out is one of the toughest feelings for tweens and teens. Peer exclusion can hurt deeply, leaving teens confused and sad. One 12-year-old girl came to counseling because she didn’t know how to fit in. Her classmates would clear the lunch table whenever she sat down. She was completely delightful, which made it hard to understand why this happened. I had to ask, “Why do some kids end up as outcasts?”
Why Teens Feel Left Out
Exclusion is most common in middle school and early high school, especially for girls. Teens often fall into three social types:
- Assertive kids: Confident, sometimes aggressive, and often popular. They stand up for themselves and may intimidate others a little, making them the “queen bees.”
- Neutral kids: Quieter teens who are happy with their close friend group. They focus on hobbies like sports, band, or theater and don’t seek popularity.
- Teens who get left out: Sensitive teens who care deeply about others’ opinions. They might cry when teased, feel self-conscious for a long time, and try to gain favor with the popular kids.
It’s Not Forever
Being left out doesn’t last forever. Teens grow, develop their strengths, and find where they belong. Middle and high school can be insecure times, but these challenges often build character. Remind your teen that wisdom develops from tough experiences, and compassion develops from rejection. Help them see the bigger picture. This is important for teens feeling left out to remember.
How to Help Your Teen
Encourage your teen to spend time with friends who truly value them. Gently remind your teen that if they’re feeling excluded, there are many other kids who would gladly welcome them, no matter their interests or social status. Being around people who genuinely enjoy their company can help your teen feel seen, accepted, and supported.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
by Lauren Goodman | Sep 19, 2025 | Parenting Techniques
Introducing Guest Blogger Mark Platte, Counselor for Teen Boys
In this blog post we have a guest writer, Mark Platte MA, Associate PCC. He is going to share his thoughts on building confidence in teen boys and some of the struggles they face. Mark specializes in counseling for teen boys and has a unique understanding of their emotions, frustrations, and behaviors during the challenging, pivotal years of adolescence. I hope you enjoy and take something valuable from his perspective!
Building Confidence in Teen Boys: Managing Anger, Finding Direction, and How Counseling Can Help
Growth and Facing Change
Most of the young men who come to see me are wrestling with two big questions: What am I supposed to do with my life? and once I figure that out, how do I actually achieve it? These questions can feel overwhelming, especially during the teenage years when so much is changing at once.
Whether their parents are married, divorced, or they’re being raised by a single mom or dad—or even if they’ve already moved out—teen boys often come to counseling to sort through their emotions and figure out their place in a world that doesn’t always seem to know what to make of them. They are learning how to handle feelings like anger, anxiety, and depression, while also navigating their first experiences with love, dating, and independence.
Comparison and Purpose
A common theme is comparison. Teen boys constantly measure themselves—at school, in sports, with friends, among siblings, and with their parents. Many have a vague idea of what they want to do after middle school or high school, but few know how to turn those dreams into a plan. When that uncertainty builds, it can lead to discouragement and even quiet despair.
That’s when many retreat into video games, social media, or fantasy worlds. While this might offer temporary escape, it often signals that real life feels too difficult. Shying away from hard things never leads to growth—but facing challenges, step by step, can help teen boys gain confidence, manage anger in healthy ways, and develop the resilience they need for adulthood.
Lessons On Building Confidence in Teen Boys
Counseling can be an excellent tool in building confidence in teen boys. Here are five lessons that come up frequently during therapy sessions:
- Young men need meaning. Teen boys naturally search for purpose. Counseling helps them connect their struggles with growth and understand why challenges matter.
- Struggle is not weakness. From Abraham Lincoln to Winston Churchill to Lady Gaga and Oprah Winfrey, history shows that setbacks are often the price of success.
- Big goals require small steps. Breaking challenges down makes the impossible seem doable and keeps progress moving forward.
- Parents should step back. While it’s natural to want to shield teens from pain, real growth comes from allowing them to solve problems and succeed on their own.
- Praise effort, not just outcomes. Teen boys can easily feel discouraged when results don’t match expectations. Recognizing effort builds perseverance and self-belief.
How Counseling Helps
When teen boys learn to confront challenges rather than avoid them, they discover strengths they didn’t know they had. Counseling for teen boys provides the tools to manage anger, reduce anxiety, and build lasting confidence. More than just getting through a tough season, it’s about helping young men uncover their purpose, strengthen their character, and step into life with courage.
by Lauren Goodman | Sep 19, 2025 | Parenting Techniques
Teen Artificial Intelligence Use: What Parents Should Know
AI is a rapidly growing technology, and, like many new online tools, teens are among the first to adopt it. While AI can be fun and even educational, not all teens use it responsibly. Some even use it in ways that can negatively affect their physical and mental health. As a parent, it’s important to understand how teens are using AI, what risks it may pose, and how you can guide them to a better use.
Teens Using AI to Cheat in School
One of the most common ways teens use AI is for schoolwork—especially writing essays. While it might feel like a shortcut to a perfect paper, it’s actually a form of plagiarism. Teens who rely on AI for their assignments miss out on the chance to learn, grow, and practice their own skills.
What many don’t realize is that using AI this way can also affect their peers. Students who prefer to do their own work may feel like they can’t keep up, and some may feel pressured to use AI just to stay even. Teachers now use AI detectors, but these aren’t perfect—they sometimes miss instances of improper use and occasionally flag honest students. This can create stress, confusion, and an uneven learning environment.
Teens Using AI in Place of Human Connection
One of the more concerning ways teens use AI is to replace human connection. Some teens, especially those facing social or emotional struggles, may turn to AI for companionship. They rely on AI to fill the gap in human connection, sometimes forming attachments and treating the AI like a friend or even a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Teens Discussing Serious Things with AI Instead of Parents
Sometimes teens turn to AI to discuss issues they should be talking about with parents. Most AI platforms include built-in safety features intended to block these conversations and provide suggestions for help. However, teens find ways to work around these protections. One heartbreaking example of this: last April, a freshman at Tesoro High School spoke with ChatGPT about suicide, and then completed it.
What You Can Do
AI is a tool, and like any tool is not in itself good or bad. When used properly, it’s an amazing resource that makes life easier. However, using AI incorrectly can cause problems. A practical way to support your child is to monitor their AI use, similar to how you would with social media or online searches, and guide them to use it wisely so it becomes a valuable lifelong skill.
Helping teens grow and families improve connection,
Lauren Goodman, MS, MFT
